I've been sick since last weekend. It's mostly a head cold but it tried really hard to get into my lungs, I was able to fight it off and am feeling better today, but that's not the story.
Three nights ago it hit me the worst, I wanted, no I needed to sleep, but Arden's BG was high and being very stubborn so I wasn't able to until about 2:30 am. On a day when I wasn't sick I'd take 2:30 with a smile, but like I said, I wasn't feeling good and so it was tough. But I survived. With about five hours of sleep under my belt, the next day drug on. I was a bit of a wreck if I'm being honest and my cold was doing it's best to advance into my chest. I needed sleep badly now, so I guess you can imagine what happened.
Sometimes I forget about the worry that my parents felt when I was diagnosed as a child. Don't feel bad about trying your very best with your daughter. We cannot look after children if we aren't able to function ourselves. Surely it's not a lot to ask the makers of these devices to fit alarms for people in your situation.
Hi scott, i read your post yesterday and did not respond because i thought you might take it the wrong way. but i woke up thinking of you and arden ( wierd i dont even know you personally, but i worry about folks here having a hard time). so a few things, first i hope you are feeling better! second, my son does not have CGM but i know just a bit about them, i thought they do alarm when out of range if that is your concern and it need to be right with her, could you put a baby monitor in her room? I know arden is younger than jacob he was diag. at 10 and his bs are pretty predictable, even without a CGM i have a good feel on how things will go given a certain bs and bolus after 4 years of D. we rarely test him during the night he hates it! if he is really high he gets up to pee and we test and bolus. he woke up once in 4 years low, and rarely wakes up in the am lower than 70, usually he doesnt feel these and that is scary. every child is different so i am not comparing jacob and arden. i do know if you need a nights sleep you can give arden a higher fat snack and under bolus and things should work out, jacob always has some fat, protein at night. my point and please dont take it the wrong way is that my sister has a daughter with high functioning autism and she eats, sleeps, breaths autism and her daughter to her own and her daughters discredit. obviously with D you can not take a break and i take jacobs disease very seriously and feel i am more educated than most and pretty on top of things. diabetes has causes jacob and me alot of suffering but i encourage him and me to live our lives and make it a player in our lives that we have to respect and work with but do not let it rule him or me. i hope you attend to your daughter and live your life is all i am saying. best wishes and i hope you both feel better. personal question here, but you used to mention your wifes role in this, i hope she is still part of the team and takes a night shift if necessary to let you sleep! best wishes, sending only concern for you. amy
Josephine - I appreciate you're concern, but don't want you to worry... I'm doing well! You aren't the first person that I've heard from that says that reading CareGiver blogs gives them a new perspective (as an adult) on what their parent's life was like when they were younger. Hope you are well and thank you for commenting! Scott
Jacob's Mom - Thank you for all of your thoughtful responses and for thinking of me! I want you to know that I write from a very emotional place and even though I'm brought you directly into one those moments with this post, I do not live my entire day lost in those feelings. I hope that my blog does a good job of showing the emotional highs and lows of diabetes CareGiving so that others can know that these feelings are normal.
I genuinely appreciate your support and suggestions! We do utilize higher fat snacks to help with BG fluctuation and I don't lose myself in Arden's type I care.
My wife is a large portion of how we manage D, I actually wrote about that recently on my blog, and told the story of how we balance our life. I am a (12+ yr) stay-at-home dad and my wife has a rather high pressure, professional career.
I hope you don't mind a bit of unsolicited advice in return :) -- Many people who don't have the benefit of a CGM are surprised at the low BGs that occur overnight. I learned that even though Arden was waking up most days in a good range... she was plummeting and rebounding overnight - hence more overnight maintenance.
Hi scott, i am glad you did not take offense to my comment. i hope things are going better for you and arden. i love her name it is so seemingly perfect for her. i am sure she is resilient and wise beyond her years. how old was she when she was diag? with jacob we are heading into the teen years, i've got this, i can do it myself mom! while his desire for independence is important to his growth as a teen and as a diabetic it can be challenging and worrisome. i find giving him the tools he needs and complementing his good decision making go a long way with making him and myself feel more comfortable with his independence. he does most of his snack boluses himself, i tend to help with meal boluses because he would not remember to pre bolus. i have been surprised lately how i tend to worry less, knowing he is competent and responsible. it is unchartered territory here, but i feel we are navigating it well, you will be there before you know it! jacob is not interested in a CGM he does not want another gadget on his muscle sprouting body! i get it, maybe sometime we will do a trial to see the trends we may be missing. for now i am letting him lead the way. sorry to go off target from your original post, i just thought you might be interested in thoughts from the "teen side"! i think with good parenting it doesnt have to be as bad as people make it out to be, i think if we expect good outcomes, kids surprise us with exceeding our expectations. soon you will be there, enjoy beautiful arden, everyday, i am sure you do. we are blessed. amy
