hi strangers over the world
I'm 24 years old Saudi girl who seriously wants to kill herself
I had type 1 diabetes 18 years ago when I was only 6 y/o and i was so happy in my life i was straight A student and I got really high scores in high school also i diagnosed with celiac disease 13 years ago and i'm following the gluten free diet since then
but my real problem started 6-7 years ago when I started to have really stinky vaginal discharge although I'm a virgin without any sexual activity
my journy started with the gynecologists they gave me every antibacterial , parasitic and antifungal avalible in market with no effect the vaginal sswab was normal most of the time only once it showed candida albican they said to me control your diabetes to get rid of it my HbA1C never exceded 7 since i just wanna get rid of this stinky odor but with no effect
i started to search about this problem and i found out that the only treatment is the candida diet with probitics and antifungal but i couldn't continued to this diet becoz of hypoglycemic attacks
the girls at the college hated me to death , everybody is avoiding me and polying me becoz of my odor nobody wants me in thier groups but usually doctors put me focibly with any group , i take a shower everyday at least twice one in the early morning and when I get home i wake up early in the morning just to clean myself i put lotions , perfumes and bodyshower with no effect i start to stink whenever i eat anything i lost almost 12 kgs from depression and the diet i was doing to eradicate the candida i used the antifungal medications for one year continously but i still stink
i started to avoid even my family who didn't support me financially they even refused to buy me strips for glucocheck , so i have to buy them by myself i cann't stand my life any more and i really want to kill myself
whats to live for if nobody wanna be around you even your family
even the doctors who i paid for don't think there is a problem at all becoz the CBC and urinanalysis , vaginal swab even serology test for STDs were all normal
i know chronic candidaiasis is diffecult to dignose and treat
now after 7 years of suffering I can say i really Despaired and all i can see is killing myself all i need is one overdose of insulin injection and goodbye everybody
I'm so sorry to hear of all this Rose. Are you still taking medication for the Candida?
If not...it will continue to progress.
Has your doctor prescribed a medication for your depression? Talk to your doctor.
what didn't help me in my case is that doctors in my regeon don't believe in candida diet they don't believe in the case they think its simple candida infection and its gone away becoz the culture of the vagina were normal but recently i have done stool culture and there was positive candida , I knew from the begining its chroni cadidiasis coz i have all the symptoms i'm very typical case.
what make worse and worse is that I'm a medical student and the girls at the college are so mean to the piont they think I have HIV although I'm negative , also they think I'm infectious to the patients so I started to escape from clinics and seminars although I want to learn deep down , my grades is failing I'm behind one year after A and A+ now I got Ds and 3 Fs this year so for sure I will repeate it
I know i'm severely depressed but also broke I cann't afford for the psychaistrist
i don't have any family support at home
yes i contacted dr.Suhair on facebook she was my pediatric endocrinologist but she didn't reply me , now i'm adult ofcourse so I'm following with other doctor in another hospital
Hi Mystery Rose,
What a terrible time!! I'm so sorry you're suffering so terribly right now. In the middle of a hard time it feels impossible that things will ever change or improve, but things ALWAYS change! The difficulties you are experiencing right now will not be with you forever, so take deep breaths, take care of yourself, and know that there are people here on TuDiabetes who will listen and share with you, and who want you to get through this.
With much care,
Emily
Rose
I am a diabetic t1 for 61 years. I am also a nurse. You are breaking my heart. People can be so mean when if they had the same problem they would want someone to be empathetic. The care you are getting is a disgrace. If I was treated like that I would be finding another physician. I realize that you are in a country that may not value women. I would like to think that this doesn't occur. Any way here are a couple of options for you. Nullo.com and waterworkshealth.com,eating yogurt and essenceforwomen.com
As far as wanting to end it, this is not the best thought. As a community of diabetics t2 and t1 we are all here for you.
Much love from Geoff
thank you all so much for your reply and help , Geoff I will try your suggestions
if you read my discussion and you have any advice to help my problem plz reply
Rose. I wish you the best and to find improvement in your life. :)
How are things now? Have you improved?
I am assuming you might have already tried this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candidiasis#Treatment
But since you are indicating that your condition is chronic, I've done a little research and have found some potentially helpful treatments:
http://archderm.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=532273http://
^I'm assuming that in Saudia Arabia, you can perhaps explain and convince them that you know what your condition is, and that you do indeed need to be administered with Amphotericin B orally?
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/chronic+mucocutaneous+candidiasis
^you can take a look at this too. They mention Amphotericin B as a treatment
I know you say that you are having troubles financially. You can fight this. I feel for you, but after lots of fighting and suffering, can come happiness.
The mean girls you are talking about were too ignorant and dumb to be friends with anyway. I would pity them, if I were you.
I wish you the best and success
thank you Taupelime for ur reply
i already follwed with infectious diseases clinic and they said to me we cann't give you amphotericin B coz it is toxic to the kidney and you are a diabetic for more than 15 years so its contraindicated in your condition also coz i have unexplained microscopic heamaturea so there is a risk on my kidneys
they cleared me up and said you dont have anything all ur test results are normal
i swear to God
I'm one step away from killing myself , i have 2 plans and I'm waiting for just doing it
eighther overdose of insulin or throw myself in the pool
i really have no energy to do anything regarding my problem , i'm really hopeless
i just wanna kill myself
if you have anything to help me with and you didn't , my life will be the price
i want specific plan tell me wt to eat wts not
tell me exactly how much insulin should i take and wt to eat in specific amount
i really get sick of myself
♥ Sending you BIG HUGS and LOTS OF LOVE ♥
مرحبا عزيزتي ,
أرسلت لك رسالة , أتمنى أن تردي على . ارسلي رقم جوالك و سأتصل بك و أقابلك لو فضلت هذا
اصبري , المشكلة لها حل
thank you Dr.Suhair for your support , sorry for not reply on time
but I will let everybody about my updates
I was really one step away from killing myself I talked to psychiatric doctor in my medical college I explained everything to him , he was very supportive and he offered me a free counselling session with him privately after asking me alot of questions he diagnosed me with depression and prescribed Prozac started with 10 mg for 4 days then 20 mg then after 3 months increased it to 40 mg now Im on antidepressant for 6 months
my mood is getting better
in the summer I repeated all the courses I failed in last year and I passed thank God
now I'm at my last year in the medical college (subintern) my knowledge is really need improvement becauses I missed alot of lectures & sessions in the past years but I'm trying to do my best
my candida problem is still there not treated yet but improved a little with iatraconazole + aspart insulin
my glycemic reading is out of control ranges between 600-35
Im not following the diabetic diet now espicisly with Prozac my wight increased 8 Kgs
not excercising anymore , Im just relaxing and doing my daily activity , going to college regularly , and when I hear any bad comment I just ignore
also now Im working as sale representetive for perfume company and this is helped me alot in buying my glucocheck strips
Glad to hear things are better Rose. You are a very busy woman....medical school AND sales representative!! Being busy is also good therapy.
Take care....linda