Take heart in knowing that diabetes does allow for “re-dos.” No matter what damage has been done along the way from high blood sugars, it is possible to regain control (or get on the path toward it). But that has to be a personal decision. Family support is good and wonderful. But it doesn’t forever fix the meals, and take the injections, and treat the lows, or worry about the suddenly blurry vision, etc. (OK, yes my wonderful parents did those things from years 4 through 21. Thanks, Mom and Dad! But there are many years after 21 and I’m fully in charge of those!)
One big thing that helps is finding other people who understand. I applaud your love and concern for your daughter. Just as I applaud the same from all the loved ones of PWDs (people with diabetes) who enrich this site. You can show empathy and support and encouragement, however, you can’t truly know what it means to live with diabetes day in and day out. So the next thing to do is point your daughter here. That’s it. Step back, let her discover she’s not alone, and know that she’ll eventually forgive you for the “nagging.”
Motherhood and diabetes are two of the toughest (and most rewarding) things I’ve ever done. I’m sure some of my worst A1Cs came during the years when I allowed being mother to my son and my full-time job to take precedence over my diabetes.