I don't know if I have any questions about the disease, I feel like I know as much as there is to know about it, and with that being said I don't want to live with the disease anymore. I hate being limited in everything that I do in life. I don't want to have to watch what I eat and I don't like feeling like crap because I don't. I wanted to be a Marine my whole life and I was devastated when at 14 I found out that i would never be able to go that route. I think about it everyday and I actually went back to all the branches recruiting offices a few weeks ago to see if there was any way that i could possibly join. There are no exceptions and the same feelings came over me again of when I first found out that I couldn't join. It goes beyond just not being able to join the Marine Corp. I honestly hate living in society and I never wanted to live the 9 to 5 kind of life. I did it for a long time until this last September when I tried going back to school to better my life. I was getting straight A's but then I just stopped going because I realized once again that no matter what i do I will never truly be happy until I am cured of this disease. I honestly believe that diabetes could be cured if there were no limits on stem cell and other scientific studies. I think that drug companies have alot to do with keeping the disease from being cured. Why would anybody want to cure us if they can just keep getting money from us to pay for our supplies? It makes me sick and I truly beleive there are alot of evil people out there who are stopping this disease from being cured. I try to tell myself to just live life and not worry about those bigger issues that i cannot control, but I can't do that because I hate my life. I do not want to die but I do not want to live with this disease anymore, so i do not know what to do. It sounds crazy but I just want to be able to go in the woods with nothing and not have to worry that I have to eat in six hours or what my blood sugar will be. I lost my freedom when I got this disease and I feel like a slave to both it and society. I don't know what questions to ask or what I expect to get from all of you, but this website is my last resource, nobody else knows how I feel. Joe
Wow. You could be in my head. I feel exactly the same way. You just want to live life and be happy and normal and not worry about your blood sugar dropping at the wrong time, or not enjoying time with friends and food and having to take insulin no matter where you are or what you are doing. This disease sucks, in so many ways.
mine was the Navy. My dad and grandfather had went into the Navy so I thought I should too. I was going to be the 1st woman in the Navy (this was in the 70's ok? no women there at that time) Yes it took loads out of me when I found out I couldn't do that. My next thing? I was going to be a cop. Ugh another no. please go with this in your heart.........................I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!! Fight for your life and know that YOU CAN DO IT!!!
The decision to live is up to you. You either live or die a slow painful death. I know how you feel I've felt that way for over 51 years but I chose to live. Today living with D is so much better then it was many years ago...and you do have freedom. You're not confined to a clock and when you must eat and exactly how much you must eat. I know you don't have the experience I have but you do have modern technologies and better management then we had in those dark ages where I came from.
Sometimes the journey we think we would like to take doesn't occur and life gives us detours, we have to learn to make what we can of it. My philosophy has been that though I have Diabetes it could have been something worse.
I'm very irregular in my eating and sleeping habits, and I have found the pump and the CGMS to be lifesavers! Although it takes time to get basals set, and insulin:carb ratios set, and correction factors set, when they are in the right place, you have a lot of freedom. I can go all day without eating if I want to, and I can eat bigger meals or smaller meals as I choose. I still have to monitor my BG, and the CGMS shows me whether I am going up or down, and I correct as needed. It has eliminated a lot of lows and highs, and I think I really do get better control. Mind you, I'm not in the ADA or AACE recommended ranges, but I'm not way off, either.
I don't know if you could get a pump, but you need to explore ways to make the burden lighter -- you can't go on as you are. There are so many people who have managed to live with diabetes for 50 or more years, and then there are the Type 1 celebrities and athletes who seem to manage well enough -- it can be done, and have a life, too!
Good luck, and I'll keep you in my thoughts!
so you're going to sit around and wait for a cure? find out what you want to do with your life and chase after it with all your soul. sitting on the sidelines is letting the diesase win