Tonight I downloaded my pump data and captured exactly what it is that drives me so completely insane about my diabetes:
That's the past two weeks. The first week is extremely consistent, not perfect but at least very consistent so that I could work on it. Then just like that things turn to total chaos and the past week I have no idea what is going on, I'm just trying to hold on for dear life (or so I feel).
It is like this every few weeks. Have a couple of consistent weeks where I feel like, okay, I can work on this ... and then suddenly the chaos hits and I feel like I'm going completely crazy and all the rules are out the window.
And I know that it will only last for two weeks or so and then go back to normal, but if this happens every month then no wonder I can't get my A1c down! I already jack up all my pump settings significantly during this period and still have so many highs and even ketones very easily if I'm not on top of things. Drives me crazy.
I think part of the reason I'm reluctant to jack settings up even more is that this ends just as suddenly as it begins. I'll do something like go to bed and randomly wake up at 35 at 3:00 AM one night ...
Anyway, I just had to vent. I feel like I vent on here a lot but I rarely ever vent to people in real life so this really helps! I was high all last night and then finally got down into range earlier today and thought I was good, but am back to being high (and ketones) tonight. I just get so sick of this crap sometimes.