i have never slept very well but now i have Neuropathy to keep me company during the nights i struggle with insomnia…my doc is trying to get me to practice “sleep hygiene”. the main principle is only use your bedroom for sleep and sex.dont watch tv in there dont cruise the web or read in bed and if you cant sleep,get out of bed and do something else until you feel sleepy.dont just lay there and stare at the ceiling…tonight i’m going to write a little and hopefully wind myself down.
a little earlier this evening on this site another member mentioned a trip they took overseas.this really got me thinking about my goals in the long term and the things that i dont want the betes to stop me from doing…travel is a big one for me,i love to travel…i’v been all over the U.S. taken a couple trips to europe…i’v been to mexico more times that i can count and a few islands too…
when i was diagnosed i was actually saving money and making plans to go to chile over this last summer. do some south of the equator snowboarding…it would have been so much fun,what happened was i canceled,spent all my money on diabetes and no one else planning to go went either…i only made it up to flagstaff a couple times after the Dx to do any boarding AT ALL.
weekend trips and day trips out of town make me feel like i’m out of my safe zone now…it gets better every day dont get me wrong but a trip out of the country seems scary to me now.this is very unlike the me before betes
i want to go to japan and india and korea and south america but i cant even get past saying “yes,id like a diabetic meal in flight.” i dont even try to wrap my head around how difficult a trip overseas could be…especially to a developing country.
i’v only begun to talk with the doc about what i would need to even get on a plane with vials of insulin and syringes…the only real contingency plan i’v come up with in case of emergency is to get in a cab and go straight to the embassy (hopefully not the hospital) for help.
the truth is some days i dont even want to get out of bed,assuming i ever get into bed.there is so much i want to do but feel that i’m just not ready.this winter i’m going to make sure i snowboard as much as i can,like i used to.thats a good start i think…i feel very exposed when i’m on the ski lift and it stops for whatever reason…what if i start going hypo and mabey i drop my glucose tablets because my hands are shaking…what do i do? where do i turn for help? hope the poor sap sitting next to me has some candy…
i admit that i often think about worst case scenarios…i think about them because i still want to live an adventure filled life and i like to be prepared for the worst…can i still live a life full of adventure? i dont know…most of the time i would say no,much has changed…but i can at least travel,right? it doesnt have to be on some cooshy boring cruise ship…does it? i want to be in the streets where the action is,eating street food with contents uncertain…
mabey i watch too much travel channel…mabey i dont watch enough…I JUST DONT KNOW!!!
i feel like i should be pushing myself more but i also feel like i need to take it easy or i could end up in some very compromising situations,way over my head with no real hope of help…
i will travel again but i think i will wait until i’m really really ready…i certainly dont want to feel like crap for a whole trip because of some dumb diabetic ■■■■■■■■! that is really the least of my worries but still very possible.