It makes me want to cry

You know, dealing with Type 1 diabetes sucks to a major extreme. However, at times, I am quite thankful it is just diabetes. There are worse things and I am the leader of a support group of one of them, but I digress…

So, my rant today is about increasing basal/bolus rates and gaining weight. For the first time since my diagnosis I am at the weight I want to be at. I am a Registered Dietitian. The professional part of me knows that the weight I am about to gain is due to insulin and that I can’t do anything about it. The human being part of me wants to sit down and cry.

I got my HgbA1C back and it is at 7. Not a bad number compared to old ones but it is the highest it has been in about a year. So, I stare at my insulin pump and know what I have to do. What I don’t want to do, however, is increase my dosages. I gain about 1 pound every time I have to increase my insulin dosages. I. want. to. cry. So long to my happy weight…welcome more love handles and bigger rump…and welcome to lower HgbA1C values and less complications later in life…so why do I have to feel so fat and unattractive?

I’m sorry you’re between that rock and that hard place, Jessica. I understand all too well. But a pound or two, in the long run, is not 10 or 20. And the damage that a pound or two would do to your body is nothing in comparison to the damage of elevated glucose levels.

As you’re an RD, I would be an idiot to try to suggest diet or exercise changes, but is there something that you can do to make you feel better? Psychologically? Maybe treat yourself to a facial or professional skin scrub or even a teeth whitening - something non-weight related that would make you glow and feel renewed instead of kicked again?

I too understand you too… and agree with Melissa, one or two pound above you desired weight sounds like a dream come true… (at least for me, jeje) I probably should loose at least 4 pounds to be happy… I am sure you don’t look unattractive or fat, but we tend to be too hard on ourselves.