I think I’ve pretty much been off and on tudiabetes all day today…lol
Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend TCOYD. I wanted to go for a couple of years now but it always slipped my mind or I had excuses of why I was too busy to get down to San Diego. What interested me the most was the fact on how they not only address the physical issues relating to diabetes but also the mental/emotional side that not many are open to sharing or talking about. A few things that day made me really start thinking about where I was in the big “D” (diabetes) game and how I could improve my playbook. Diabetes is a lot like sports & I’ve always been athletic so I like to relate everything in that way. I’m the “D” the player. I consider people with diabetes my teammates. My GP, my endo, diabetes educator, podiatrist, physical therapist, chiropractor, google! …they are all coaches,trainers or motivators of some sort. The event was really fun. I was able to collect lots of new information and have great conversations with other diabetics. I hope many of the people we talked to will sign up with tudiabetes.
I feel like today I needed my brain to talk to my body about a new game plan and why I’ve been slacking on the sidelines for some time now. We all have factors that contribute to us being on the sidelines whether it be family issues, money, injuries which don’t allow us to exercise like we want to, eating habits and many more. At the beginning of this year for the first time in nearly 12 years I felt like I was losing the game…I had a bum hip…let my eating get out of control…fell into the “woe is me” attitude…got declined for not only the omnipod but then the minimed pump too…after 2 declines with medtronic my next step would be to fight HMO board in california…I did not have enough fight left at that point and spent another few months in lala land floating around doing nothing proactive. When I was diagnosed I was slim and athletic. I started on insulin went through 2 pregnancies with great numbers but could never lose the weight after and then gained more. At one point I lost 40 pounds but had to workout 2.5 hours a day atleast 5 days a week and eat between 900-1100 calories a day. I was a machine. Lots of jogging and got involved with kettlebells. After my injury and extensive work with physical therapists and chiropractors my hip is so/so and recommended to me no more jogging only walking. I just started recently to get back into a kettlebell routine which I am excited about but it is daunting at this weight and to start over knowing where you once were and work back to that routine is tough. Starting over is 95% mental it seems. Time to wrap my emotions around all of this and get physical and on the road to eating clean again. Oh yea and I might not want to sneak cigarettes any more like I have this year either! Yea! I said it. I used to smoke years ago, about a pack a day from age 17 up until I became pregnant with Ally at 22 years old. I quit…cold turkey… for all those years smoke free…why this year did I start sneaking?? stress?? not 1 pack a day…just 1 or 2 a day…never in front of the kids…stupid!
It was bittersweet for me to be attending TCOYD because the day before my grandfather (lives in FL) passed away at age 82. I grew up in NY and grandparents were in NY also before making the move to FL. My grandfather was diagnosed and put on insulin right away in his early fifties. This was very tough lifestyle change for him. He was a former marine, father of 4 boys, meat & potatoes man, smoker, drinker when playing cards with friends…
He quit smoking. Both my grandma and grandpa learned everything they could about his insulin regimen, diet changes, & exercise. They put him on a schedule and just stuck to it. It was his new way of living. Since I was the only baby girl in the family for many years surrounded by lots of boys…lol…I had myself wrapped around my grandpa’s finger good and tight. He could make us laugh so hard. When I was diagnosed he was 71 years old. When I told him the news I knew they both “felt it”. They felt the fight I was going to be up against. He was my first diabetic buddy. Someone I could look up to. He was the best example I could have. He ate what he should, stayed on schedule even up till he passed away he was riding his trike around his neighborhood in FL. One cool grandpa! We are very lucky only until the last year or so he started declining in health but nothing compared to what others have to go through. My grandma was his official insulin nazi. She always made sure he took his shot and ate on time. When my grandpa would come out to california we would joke in the restaurant about “who would shoot up first”, “who would bend over for a shot first”…would could really get going…lol
It is so difficult to be this far away from my grandma, my dad, my uncles at this time being they are in FL and I’m in California…
I have never blogged on here before but just felt the need to get all this out in the open and off my mind…I threw out the rest of those cancer sticks yesterday. I also made a promise to my grandpa, now my guardian angel that I would pick my big 'ol butt up off the ground, put my boxing gloves back on, get in the ring and fight like a girl! In my heart “the fight” is still there just waiting for the new awakening…guess it’s time We all fall off the wagon at time but we can’t fail if we don’t quit!
Baby steps always = giant leaps
R.I.P Grandpa …11/20/08