I have had zero readings in range today. One hundred percent have been high. My lowest reading was 7.3 (131), which is almost in range, but that was after exercise when I would normally be around 4.5 (80) or low. I actually exercised for an hour, twice as long as I normally do.
I don’t get frustrated with diabetes much anymore but I am just SO FRUSTRATED right now!!! I don’t know if it’s hormones or what but I seriously just want to do SOMETHING to see a reading in range. Even seeing two readings in a row below 11 (200) would be nice. It if weren’t for being afraid of causing a seizure or worse I would just do a huge correction right now before bed and see where I wake up. But I can’t do that.
Days like this I hate that diabetes is supposedly “controllable” because I am controlling NOTHING right now. My blood sugar is doing whatever the hell it wants to for the past few days and I’m just piling on insulin and adjusting pump settings trying to keep it from going off the charts. It’s lucky I test ten times a day so that I can correct ten times a day and put all my pump settings up, otherwise I don’t want to know what my blood sugar level would be. Hell, normally I’m not really controlling anything, anyway, I’m just making predictions and guesses about how such-and-such a food and such-and-such a dose and such-and-such an activity will affect my blood sugars, and then reacting to high and low readings as they come. Diabetes is controllable in that I can usually keep my blood sugars from going to dangerously levels, very high or very low, but beyond that it’s all just guesswork and luck.
Sorry for the rant. I might not care so much if I didn’t put in so much effort into this stupid disease. If I just popped a pill then fine, maybe I need a higher dosage. Instead I weigh all my food, use a calculator and a nutritional database to count all my carbs, program my pump, test my blood, eat healthy foods, exercise, review my logbooks, adjust my pump settings, and get SQUAT. And that’s not even counting all the diabetes crap I do that’s not directly related to blood sugar management.
Maybe tomorrow I will put two minutes into everything instead of two hours (and yes, added up it probably is two hours out of my day). At least then when I’m high constantly it’ll be for a reason.