Maybe I am not the one

All I want is time alone with you…

you used to make time for me all the time and now you won’t even fight for me anymore. ■■■■ your work and ■■■■ your boss… a special weekend away won’t fix this. Only you making an effort to do what you say you will is going to work for me. You promised me some time before I start school and I now know that that is not going to happen. You broke my heart.

I have never wanted to go home like I do right now. I want to be around people who want to be around me. I feel so ugly, fat, and unattractive since the surgery. It makes me want to just curl up and disappear…

What was last night all about anyways? I was expecting something halfway romantic or exciting… not a few pecks on the lips and then you holding my hand for 45 seconds while you get off. That just confirms that I am not needed here anymore. That’s how I feel today… a burden…

First I had to get through friday, and then tuesday, and now what? a ■■■■■■■ special weekend getaway is not what i want…

I realized that my friends suck this last week but I don’t think it would be so bad if that didn’t include you… You ran away from me and now I don’t know if I will ever get you back the way I want to. You tell me all these sweet things that we will do and none of them ever happen. I don’t want to be one of those people that holds onto stupid dreams that never come true. I want to be madly in love with you and to have that in return for the rest of my life.

You asked me why I have been so sad since coming home and the full, honest answer is that I don’t feel like you love me like you should. You look at me more often than not with this annoyed, frustrated face instead of someone who can’t live without me.

I have to stop now because I am just getting more and more upset… :frowning: