I hate to vent, but I’m frustrated. I have had three days of absolutely amazing numbers, and woke up this morning at 81. I should be elated, but I’m not. These are the days that convince me that something went terribly wrong in the Universe and I become convinced I was misdiagnosed. I mean last night I didn’t bolus for dinner and purposefully ate pretzels, bread and skittles. I was 95 before the meal, 170 at 1 hour, and 120 at 2. Anyone would have gotten that high with that many carbs.
I know lab tests were done twice, and that I was diagnosed by two different doctors (My internist than endo), but I didn’t have any dramatic onset. I found out by accident, at a work required healthcare fair. I had a BG of 287. Sure I was thirsty occasionally, but hardly what I would call symptomatic. Isn’t it possible that hyperglycemia could be temporary? A minor glitch that corrects itself, or a product of another problem that can be corrected? Would they even remove the diagnosis from my medical history? Has there ever been a case where someone has been misdiagnosed? I know I’m extremely sensitive to insulin, and that I’m still producing some on my own, so I can’t give up hope that it’s a mistake. I’m on such a small amount of insulin (TTD~12), I can hardly believe it makes that much of a difference.
OK, they say I’m “honeymooning,” but it’s so hard to swallow the diagnosis, when I have days when my numbers are so good. It’s terrible I know, but I wish I would either stop producing insulin all together or produce all of my own. This back & forth is driving me nuts! Just when I start to accept having diabetes, I get hope (usually false).
So today, starts my third experiment to stop taking the insulin to see what happens. I’ve tried it twice before (one was by accident), and wound up symptomatic with high numbers that are stubborn, and increased insulin dosages, but I feel have to try again. It could be different this time, I truly believe that. So I
guess I’ll see.