Hello all! I’m new here and I’m starting gout with a rant. I was diagnosed type 1 back in 1989 at 11 months old. The endocrinologist I had until the age of 17 or so was old school. He didn’t believe in insulin pumps and thought I needed to keep my A1C between 8 and 9 since I was young. After that I went off to college and started living my adult life. I had been a very lazy diabetic. I guessed on my carb counts, didn’t check my blood sugar often and generally ignored my disease. I now have neuropathy affecting my hands and non-proliferative diabetic retinopathy causing blind spots in my right eye.
This year, I’ve decided that I need to take care of myself. I’ve gotten an insulin pump, a cgm, and an endocrinologist that I love. My last A1C was 6.6%, a number I’ve never seen so low! I’m very proud of myself, but, it seems that the healthier I am and the more I take care of myself, the sicker I feel mentally. I had forgotten what it felt like not to feel burning pain in my hands but now I take pills three times a day to relieve it. I’m literally attached to medical devices 24 hours a day. I use a food scale and a tape measure now to get accurate carb counts. Going out to eat is a nightmare and I have gotten very offensive responses by asking for carb counts at restaurants. I wouldn’t trade in my good control for anything, but I truly feel that I have disease now and I’m getting depressed because of it. I feel alone because it’s hard for others in my life to see the mental impact of all this.
I don’t know, I guess I’m just ranting, but I need to rant to people who understand. Thanks for listening (reading? whatever).