Moving forward with treatment/denial/slacking, etc etc

So the endos at the Josin center straight up said to me, "no pump therapy until your average numbers are lower and you have recorded your numbers better."
i need support doing this. i am not disciplined enough to record thoroughly, although i keep pretty good track in my head and test at least 7 times a day.
as for my average numbers… they aren’t really getting that much better,
i am keeping an insane-sized stockpile of fruitjuice nearby so that i am not scared to let my numbers go down… that is and has been and will remain my only stumbling block here.
i am TERRIFIED and traumatized by going low, or even dropping too fast.
i feel like i need hypnosis to not be bothered by this sensation.

bleh.

small ketones today too.

what a day.

awww… hang in there. Did the endo tell you how long you have to record “better” numbers before you can begin pump therapy?