Well, Anna Martin, I guess I need to say “I’m Sorry.” You see I have a big mouth sometimes and it was wrong of me to berate you in public even if some of what I said may have been true. It probably would have been more appropriate to send you a private message. So please accept my apologies.
That being said, from what you have said, I have a better understanding of what is going on. I do want you to know that people here would like to help you. It sounds like you appreciate how serious this is. I also see that Zoe has already made some suggestions. I might be able to make some suggests as well if that would be helpful. You need to convince yourself that you can deal with this. While it would be great if you could just fix your panic over high blood sugars, what you really need to do is disconnect your insulin decisions from your feelings and have your decisions about insulin follow an exactly prescribed set of rules. Anyway, we would certainly be happy to help you.
Anna,
When you come out of your lows today, determine you are going to stick with the math.
Depending on what you weigh, you can know how much insulin will pull you down. You can learn how much each gram puts you up. You can make charts for yourself if you learn how many carb grams are in each of your usual foods. Buy John Walsh’s Using Insulin and Gary Scheiner’s Think Like a Pancreas - treat yourself with respect.
Use a notebook, write the grams going into you and figure what insulin amount will handle it, no more, no less. There’s no reason to give excess insulin. Keeping the amount of insulin just right is an art. It’s also serious business. As every friend here will tell you. Especially the long lifers.
I strongly urge you to get a team around you who will help you - and that includes a psychiatrist/therapist, an endo with whom you can talk or his CDE with whom you can ensure that you have the math down pat. Swinging is fraught with complications. It’s a matter of math.
We don’t have an endo where I live. The nearest one is a 2 hour plane ride away, and my insurance is not going to cover that. But the CDE told me she had no more to teach me, but that I should stop overdosing.
Anyway, I am very familiar with what happens when paramedics treat lows. I am on a first-name basis with every single paramedic in town, and they tell me every time to stop getting low.
Fortunately, I have no nearby family to worry, so that’s not a problem.
I don’t drive. Ever. The only person I could harm is myself… And I’ve gotten really low enough times on my own that I really doubt it’s going to kill me any time soon. (I’m sure someone will come on and tell me that lows can kill, but since I’ve survived about 1000 severe lows all by myself with just my body taking care of me, I really don’t think it will kill me.)
Oh, I’ve had this problem for about 5 years now. For a couple of years, it was really, really bad and I was passing out a few times a day. I’ve done somewhat better recently, but it’s still not much better.
Anyway, I take lantus and humalog.
I have no idea how much 1 unit would drop my blood sugars. If I were every patient enough to test myself, I might find out that it would drop me, but, if I see I’m 150, I’m going to give myself 5 units (at least) not one. And I’m not going to wait around patiently for a couple hours for it to drop.
My CDE told me it was pointless to keep a notebook (after I used one for a few months), so I stopped. But I could never figure out a pattern, so I kind of have to agree with her.
But I will consider buying John Walsh’s book; I know people on here swear by his books.
Where did you get the idea that you need to have an A1c below 5? I am not being critical, I have heard below 6, but have never heard anyone say they need to have an A1c below 5.
Oh, I definitely don’t think it needs to be below 5. In fact, I would love it if I could get it to at least 5.5. But the problem is, I have panic attacks whenever I go above 200, which leads me to give myself a lot of insulin to prevent me from going over 200. This leads to really low A1cs. I definitely don’t think it’s something I should do, but it’s what I do.
Okay, because when I read “But, yes, to stay at my 4.5 to 5.0 A1c average causes tremendous amounts of stress. I constantly think about my blood sugars, where they are, where they’re going, and I don’t really like it, but I’m obsessive, so I tend to obsess over my diabetes.”, I thought you believed you had to stay below 5. I am glad to hear that.
Someone recommended Think Like a Pancreas. I think that would be helpful, also. It teaches you a lot and things that you might not even consider, depending on how good your doctors have been in the past. Mine were morons, it turns out. = ) It help me realize that it is okay to not be a perfectionist. I think we all have that tendency to some degree to want to be a perfecctionist, because we spend our lives seeing doctors that tell us to be perfect. They don’t really expect us to be perfect, but we believe it. We just have to figure out how to take their badgering and mutate it inot something productive.
I am scared for you as I read your posts. I feel like you are in a desperate place. At least know that you are among friends who want the best for you. All of us type 1’s have struggled with so manny different aspects. Some of us may sound judgemental, but really it is the ringing of concern for you and your safety and your happiness.
Being diabetic sucks. We all know it. We just deal with it the best we know how. You are not alone in feeling frustrated sometimes. We all do.
Your blood pressure is tied closely to your blood glucose, so if you go from being moderately (240 honestly isn’t that bad, not compared to the 320s i get at least once a week) high to severely low, then you cause your blood pressure to go from being high to low, and you rob your brain of the fuel it needs to run. It’s better to just take the correct amount and wait for your bg to come down, you’ll feel better when it drops slowely, and it’s a TON better for you.
And the thing about coke is that our insulin GREATLY outlasts the sugar that is in a soda. So you drink a soda, your bg spikes through the roof, the insulin causes you to crash later on, and then the cycle repeats as you keep drinking soda and dropping low later. It’s really counter productive, and it’s a great way to end up with other problems (Soda… weight… popular connection i think?). Just take the correct amount of insulin, and then be on your way and don’t check as it comes down. Check about 45 minutes afterwards to make sure it’s coming down, and then don’t worry until the two hour mark. It’ll help to keep you calm knowing it’s coming down, and you won’t constantly be freaking out cause your sugar is high
For me 1 unit of my rapid acting insulin brings me down roughly 50mg/dl over an hour. If you drop 50mg/dl in 10 minutes, in less than an hour, you’ll be well on your way down to zero… which isn’t good.
Taking a different approach to avoid the highs rather than overcompensating for them, do you know what sends you high? Is it certain foods, activities, stress, hormones?
Without knowing your insulin: carb ratio, if you don’t, then you’re guessing on how much you need to cover meals. This will send you high or low. Guessing & taking too much isn’t a plan.
Some math involved, but not much. I’m the least mathematical person. If I can do it, anyone can. I hate highs & also hate lows. What we’re all working towards is the best balance we can achieve.
One part of having panic attacks is the feeling of loss of control. Putting yourself back in control is learning what to do so you don’t over react.
Not that any of us can explain every high, but I try to see them as an “oops” moment to learn from. Yea, I didn’t count the carbs properly, I waited too long to inject, maybe my insulin needs are changing, or whatever. This puts my brain in an analytic mode instead of a self-punishing one.
We all screw up. Often we do everything by the book, but don’t see the expected results. Oh, well. Stuff happens & tomorrow is always another day. But, we still have to understand how all the variables effect us to do the best we can.
Danny’s homework assignment is really helpful. Hope you’ll do it & let him know. Knowledge is your strongest ally. Please try to think of your brain as your best weapon, not a syringe.
I’m sorry if you feel manipulated. It’s just I have major problems with high blood sugars. My therapists and doctors seem to think it’s something I can just overcome. It’s not something I particularly want to have, but I have it.
However, I’m used ot my way of doing things, and part of me doesn’t want to change (we’re all resistant to change, a little bit, I think), because I’ve been overinjecting for years, and I know what happens when I do so.
Since no one else really understands the problem, I come on here to talk about it. I know it’s not a particularly common problem, but it’s one I have, and there’s no simple solution. I just try to work through it, but sometimes when I’m feeling panicky, I come on here and complain. I don’t know that I’ll follow any/all of the suggestions (fear of change), but it makes me feel better to at least talk about it to people who understand. And usually a few people have really good ideas that do help me out.
As we go out of our way to give tons of useful advice, she is making flippant and dramatic comments like “I know every paramedic in town and have had 1,000 lows” and “it’s easier to just shoot yourself full of insulin and know you’ll be 40 or so in an hour” and “I have no idea how much one unit of insulin would drop me.” We have a saying in the helping professions: When the helpers are doing 90% of the work, there is a problem.
I wouldn’t exactly call those flippant remarks. I would call those true remarks. Because they’re all true. I do know every paramedic in town, I have had about 1,000 severe lows, it is easier for me to just shoot myself full of insulin, because then I will know what my blood sugars will be instead of giving myself the prescribed dose and then waiting for two hours, because then I’ll be panicking that I didn’t give myself enough, and I don’t have any idea how much 1 unit of insulin would drop me, because I’ve never given myself just one unit.
I’m sorry if those seem flippant, but they’re true. You seem to have taken an instant dislike to me and my situation, and I’m sorry for that, but I can’t just wish myself better, and no matter how many therapists I see, I’ve never met one who was really able to help (none of been very knowledgeable about diabetes, which was something of a problem). I admit I have some wishy-washy feelings about stopping - mostly because I’ve done this for so long, and it’s what I’m used to. Have you ever tried to stop a habit you’ve had for 5 or 10 years, a habit you’ve spent every second you’re awake doing? It’s very difficult, and it’s not something yyou can just stop.
I think part of you does want to change. The debt, the potential loss of your job, not to mention your awareness of the physical damage, does make it seem that you’re ready to take some small steps. Just takes one step to be independent.
No one but you can answer what your real fear is. There isn’t a human without fears. Fears lurk in the corners & hide in the shadows. They don’t want a light shined on them.
Honey, I know how terrible pani attacks are for you. I have never had them, but I have worked with children and adults who have… Thr fear from the panic attack is what you seems to motivate you…You cognitively know that insulin stacking can KILL YOU, but you also are so afraid that the 240 and the resulting Pani attack WILL KILL YOU…Only the former phrase is real.,. TOO MUCH INSULIN WILL KILL YOU A one time 240 will not immediately kill you…The panic attack that ensues feel like deatn but IT WILL NOT KILL YOU, either. A seizure and seriously low blood sugar can kill you and render you brain dead in less than an hour.My type 2 aunt had a low of 15, (due to a mistake in dosage by her health care providers during an ilnness) ffrom which she never aweakened. WE buried her on April 23
Please go and see if you can get some mental health counseling ( do they have a free clinic or a social worker provided thorugh your loal health department)? for your panic attacks and a way to ndesenstize yourself to the high blood sugar fears. HYPOs can,and will, KILL YOU>
God Bless,
I am praying for your deliverance from these issues.
This sadness , anxiety,and fear is are not how HE wants you to live,
And I know you do not want it either,
I did this too not to the extreme you are doing but enough to understand. I have OCD and tend to obcess about going high but no longer over correct. I was in the hospital 12x in one year for it several times on the brink of death. I will tell you what my doc told me contine to do this and you’ll die alot quicker than highs would even damage you. You also can develop complications from going low as well as high even neuropathy can be made worse by frequent lows, but the main complications are mental and cognitive such as developing panic disorders, anxiety, and depression as well as memory loss and poor cognitive function some of which will never go away. also every low causes flight or fight to kick in raising your cortisol which in the long run will not only make you fat but can cause adrenal tumors and insulin resistance which will lead to alot more highs. You are harming yourself and should be hospitalized to deal with your anxiety before you kill yourself either intentionally or unintentionally. I feel for you I really do and I am not trying to be mean but something has to be done.
