Thinking of you and I am so sorry for the loss of your sister.
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Judith, I am so sorry for your loss. You are in our thoughts.
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Here is what I wrote, anyway…
And so she left us on June 24th at 5:45 PM…
I was in Santa Cruz for my annual visit to see my kids when word came from my niece that the end was much closer than expected. I changed gears, got home via Amtrak on June 16th, re-packed and left again on the train on the 17th, arriving here in Minneapolis on the 19th.
While the tumors had seemed to stabilize, that changed almost overnight. When I got there, she was still able to smile sweetly and interact, though speaking was terribly difficult. Her daughter and I were able to have one profound interaction that first day. She had been restless. We were helping her stand up, supporting her because she was too weak to walk. She hugged us tight, one on each side of her, and kissed and nuzzled us. We eased her down—and then she wanted to repeat four more times. It was magical and proof that an old dancer doesn’t need words to say what needs saying. And my niece and I knew she was cementing our connection, too…
Hospice Team was excellent. Keeping us well informed. My daughter and my other niece arrived in short order, attending her with boundless tenderness and a sense of whimsy that was pure Paula----there was a brief thunderstorm one day—Paula wanted help to get to her favorite chair across the room to watch the rain. My daughter remembered that Paula had declared an interest in becoming a Street Dancer when she retired—and so those blessed young women went outside to dance for her in the rain in front of her window…
My brother, lending his Elder’s calm presence arrived soon, too. He is still here and we are helping my niece and Paula’s partner clean, sort and prepare for the Memorial on the 7th of July…Here is one of my favorite shots of Paula taken by an old friend who always made her happy…
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I speak to my husband every night. Paula was one of his mentors. One night he said a gift had arrived from DHF and TuD—My very first, most beloved online home. It is Perfect—a sweet little Bonsai…So exquisite and so Right for honoring my sister, as well as honoring my loss…Thank you. My husband took several photos that won’t load. It’s a little tree-like succulent in a charming blue ceramic pot…
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Cancer is an ugly death. There’s no getting around that. However, by the time I got there, pain control had been firmly managed. She was restless as she got ready to Let Go, but never in pain which is a blessing…We were right there as she took her last breath. We held hands and hugged and wept and then proceeded with the business of dying—from calling family to notifying hospice–who blessedly takes care of official “stuff”. And I highly recommend The Cremation Society. They were also a boon when my mom died in 2010…
And I am restless, too, sleeping very little, walking the halls at 2AM—or one night I decided I had to chop a gazillion shallots ahead of time for upcoming meals…Sigh…
From my FB post: Cancer is not an easy death, but Daughter, Partner, Brother and Sister were with her. Donna (partner of 3 decades) and I did the ritual bathing of her body and draped her in lovely silks, with the help of a dear family friend who came right over to help. And we sat with her for awhile, chatting and sharing a bottle of wine.
I called my beloved and his voice centered me as I asked him to just tell me the day’s kitty and critter stories…My daughter and I spoke briefly, but reception was bad, so we’ll talk some more this evening…
Here is what her daughter wrote to her: "Paula Marguerite Rahders: October 31st, 1951 to June 24, 2016. Dance in the wind my darling mother. You have given and taught me so much. Dance. I’ll keep dancing too."
Here’s the photo my Brother took: Uploading…
Thank you all for being there…Judith in Portland
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I’m so sorry for your loss of your sister Judith ((((((Hugs))))))
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Judith, my thoughts are with you. Please take care of yourself, my friend, and I’m so glad you have your husband and those critters.
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Thank you for sharing Judith. You are in my thoughts!
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Judith,
I am so very, very sorry on the loss of your dear sister.
What you shared with us was extremely moving and strongly heart- felt.
As you morn, Judith, you can rejoice in realizing that she is happy and completely healed. And, the spiritual bond that you and your family shared with your sister continues ad infinitum…
God bless you!
Joedy
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@Judith_in_Portland, Amiga: I am very sorry for your loss… Sending you a big hug!
Cancer sucks! I lost my dad to it. 
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