Need advice


#1

Someone please help my husband was recently hospitalized because an ingrown hair almost killed him he’s type two diabetic developed a massive infection he has not taken care of his diabetes for 10 years and no doctors no medicine. When he went into the emergency room blood sugar was 600 A-1 C was 14. I am not getting much answers from the doctor what kind of long-term effects do you think he will have? He is an absolute denial as to what caused him to be in the hospital and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make him realize the severity of it.


#2

Long term? Kidney failure, blindness, leg amputation, heart attacks, painful peripheral neuropathy…the list goes on. These are not theoretical–this is REAL. An A1c in the double digits is dangerous. I hope he doesn’t do like my neighbor did–ignored his high bg’s until it killed him. (Amputation, total blindness, heart trouble, dialysis).


#3

Okay, Dave44 gave you the worst of it, which is important that everyone know. Now, I’m going to give you something a little better. It’s never too late to improve your blood sugar. Many parts of the body can actually heal and damage regress to a degree.

The hard part is going to be to appeal to your hubby that he needs to do this now. He may need you to take him by the hand and lead him. Improving your knowledge of diabetes and how it all works could go a long way to you being able to help him make wise food choices, exercise, maybe start to check his blood sugar on a daily basis and get him on some meds.

The infection should be his wake up call. Time to make a few life style changes. A little bit will go a long way.


#4

+1

I’ll add that the healing power of the body is incredible.


#5

Depression causes many diabetics to give up trying to improve their glucose control. Seeking help for depression is likely to be as, or more, important than explaining glucose control methods (carb counting, switching to a pump, using a CGM, and on and on).


#6

Let me talk as someone that has been where your husband is now. Your husband is in denial, this recent medical scare is a warning that he had best not deny. I am Type 2 and I was once in denial, I ran very high glucose levels for a long time, I am lucky, I came out of denial before serious damage was done, the time I was in it was a living hell. There is hope past denial.

How do you convince him, start by asking him what he is willing to lose because Type2 diabetes, all types of diabetes, plays for keeps, it takes but it does not give back. If you wish to keep it you must fight for it.

  1. Does he like his vision, untreated diabetes is the leading cause of premature vision loss.
  2. Does he like sexual intimacy, diabetes, especially if untreated is a leading cause of impotence in men.
  3. Does he like his toes, feet, legs. Amputations are a real possibility with diabetes, when diabetes is left untreated the possibility is increased many times over.
  4. Does he enjoy clarity of thought. Very high blood glucose causes a clouding of the thought process, it slows decision making, it prevents full enjoyment of the experience that is life. It can limit career advancement and limit creative thinking.
  5. Does he like having kidneys. Would he rather stand and deliver or would he prefer to eliminate his urine while connected to a dialysis machine.
  6. Does he like being able to heal properly, Extremely high blood glucose does have an effect on the body’s ability to heal.
  7. Is he willing to give up his mobility. Without taking your limbs extreme neuropathy can rob you of your balance by destroying sensory nerves. It can rob you of your muscle movement by attacking your motor nerves
  8. Does he like life itself. Blood Glucose levels in the range he was tested at can lead to a condition called diabetic ketoacidosis. While not as likely in a Type 2 diabetic as in Type 1 diabetic it is still possible. Diabetic ketoacidosis can be immediately life threatening if not treated promptly. Even without this immediate threat there are many ways diabetes can shorten your life.

These are just some of the things he has to lose, there are many more. Feel free to print off this list and ask him to check off the things he would be willing to give up without a fight.


#7

A doctor told me something I will never forget when my A1C was over 12. He said when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will take care of yourself. Lets hope it is not too late.

Oh to have those many years back.


#8

I think you just have to nag the sh!t outta him. When its an issue of life or death, nagging seems to work with men. Your his wife, so unfortunately, this falls on you. Nag early, nag often. You gotta get him into an appointment and get him prescriptions for appropriate medications. You might have to give him medications until he’s off and rolling and compliant. Settle for nothing less than a man who is compliant in caring for chronic illness. He owes you this. Demand it. You wont regret it. Its part of being his advocate. Do whatever it takes to get him in. You aren’t asking too much. Not at all. You are 100% in the right. You can tell him I said so. Blame us if he gets mad. But, hold firm.


#9

Oh my gosh this forum is so incredible you guys are giving such great advice. This is a man who I have nag for 10 years and I work in the medical field I just could get no answers as to what we’re looking at Long-term. He had a massive back surgery he’s terrified of doctors he has a consult this morning as to the long-term effects of this. I myself am a diabetic and lead by a good example and to no avail. We shall see what the future brings thank you so much this form is awesome I need support.


#10

Thanks so much. The surgeons and the doctors were looking at me like how could you let this happen ma’am? I was so embarrassed I worked in the ICU at a level for trauma center for years I know exactly what can happen I don’t know why I asked I was just panicking when I got on this forum. But for 10 years I was on him about this and here we are the brick wall that I’ve been waiting a hit on at highway speed.


#11

Sorry he’s being so stubborn. He probably feels terrible and doesn’t know how good he COULD feel if he got on a regimen. You can of get used to feeling like crap all the time. It becomes your new normal. You don’t remember what it feels like to actually feel good.

I would say set aside worrying about the long term effects for the time being and concentrate more on the short term and getting him to see the light.

My husband is stubborn too. He doesn’t have diabetes but he has other stuff going on that he is stubborn about.

I hope the best for both of you.


#12

This is what I need to hear. Thanks. I told him that also. That he has no idea how much better he is going to feel. He has been tired and “lazy” forever and ever. Now we know why.


#13

If you can get him turned around and bring those numbers down and get him to a point where he feels a little better, he’s not going to want to go back to where he feels like crap all the time. That may be his epiphany.


#14

Unfortunately, denial means you’re not sick…If he’s been that stubborn it will be a problem until maybe he almost dies from something. High blood sugar damage is usually slow and not so easily noticed until something goes really wrong. Something went really wrong and he still isn’t accepting it. Hopefully at a follow up visit the Doctor will impart to him how bad his sugars are and he will listen?

Nagging , telling him you love him and would like to grow old together, printing out information might help. You might have to make it easy for him, meals, exercise together, if you’ve got a busy schedule that can be hard, but he might have no idea where to actually start making changes.

Sometimes we can steer our husbands into what we want them to do. I was a vegetarian when I got married and my husband wasn’t. So I soon figured out that my husband was lazy about food, so if I made him vegetarian meals he would eat that over having to make something himself. That included never buying meat anything and bringing it home. After a couple of years he became a vegetarian by choice.


#15

Another approach is to just concentrate on one change at a time. Testing BGs or urine testing and just logging without judgement may be the first steps. Then make changes to diet, activity level and watch the results. It is common to initially feel worse before feeling better when getting numbers down.