Oh my goodness! Thank you for this!! Everything you said makes so much sense and it’s good to hear it coming from the space that she is in now to where you have been. Thank you, thank you!
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This thread is generating a lot of great advice.
My two cents:
I would slightly reframe that. Maybe she’s being difficult because she wants the attention her sister is getting…or something else…but I don’t think anyone wants to be allowed to be hateful. It’s no fun! For them, for you, for anyone. Your older daughter might need some extra attention even though I can imagine that might be asking an awful lot during this crisis for your family.
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things. You’re listening. You’re finding videos that interest Chloe to do with diabetes. You’re doing everything you can to make things easier and get her the right care. But it still won’t be easy for her (or you)…and acknowledging that isn’t pity. It’s reality.
I guess I’d like to underline Robyn’s comment. Preserving her beta cells while she still has them sounds exciting to me. But, if because of time/where you live/human bandwidth a clinical trial isn’t practical, then definitely don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re doing a lot!
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Therapy. Look for a diabetes specialist at a university hospital nearby.
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I really don’t remember back when I was diagnosed at 8 having problems with it. My parents told me this is what it is and here is what you have to do and they were always there for me.
I did not and would not do my own injections! That was my biggest problem! Nothing anyone could say or do was getting to move on that.
So that summer, I was sent to our local diabetes camp, kicking and screaming. But the funny thing about camp. It’s so much fun. And I was the only person out of the 100 kids there that couldn’t give myself an injections. Peer pressure worked very well here and in a matter of 2 days, I was on my own. It was also very enlightening to see so many others living well and were all happy while having diabetes.
My diagnosis was back in the early 1970’s so things were a lot different. But I just always remember my parents telling me that this was my disease and I had to manage it for the rest of my life. Of course they were there every step of the way. But I did most everything except cooking and of course medical/insurance stuff.
I think holding your line here is a must. She needs to understand that she has to get a handle on this. And continue to show her people that are living fun and successful lives with their medical conditions. There is no easy answer here but I do remember watching another camper that first summer(I went for 3 summers) have a low blood sugar seizure. So very, very scary and gave me an eye opening experience to what could happen and what my parents went through when I had them. (A much different story nowadays with blood testing and CGMs!)
Unfortunately your story is the same most every parent has with their children at some point. But I have always believed that we are the adults and we are the ones who must control the chaos! I had these same problems with one of my kids that had autistic problems which also caused problems with my other child. Everything and everyone is connected.
Get help for yourself and your family if that is needed. Getting someone who can help is not a failure, that is being smart knowing you all need help.
Good luck and thanks you for being that very caring and supportive parent.
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Thank you! 
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Just one thing to add—Nick Jonas, not Joe. 
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“No one living with diabetes should ever feel alone” This is why TuDiabetes exist. This post exemplifies what we are about.
I would like to give a shout-out to everyone that has replied here, especially @Robyn_H, I was so moved by what she said. Many people have lived what Chloe and or @ChloesMom is going through and it shows in the quality of advice and understanding in all the replies.
For @ChloesMom, this community considers you one of us, while you may not have diabetes yourself, diabetes will be a part of your life as you care for your daughter. Please remember that you and your questions will always be welcomed here.
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I was thinking Nick as I typed Joe, 
Thank you so much!
Sorry I’m so late to the conversation. @MM1 brought up the fact that I’ve lived with a diabetes alert dog for many years now. Not sure it’s the solution you’re looking for but I do sense that your love and caring will find a way to help your daughter.
You’ve read many ideas here that could help you and your family. I have a distinct feeling that you will find a way even if it’s just enduring. You will likely have the perfect advice for some other family when your time appears to pay it forward!
Good luck and be well.
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I was also diagnosed at age 8, in 1955, and, LOL, hated diabetes camp, mine didn’t match the description above much at all, but it was probably mostly my loner personality. One of my older sisters, 3 years before my diagnosis, had started going deaf, from another autoimmune disease, and I think I thought mine was much easier. But, I’ve been reminded recently, by some letters I found, how hard both of these things were on our mother. Her “nervous breakdown” and ensuing psychiatric hospitalization when I was 11 were much more traumatic to me than my diagnosis, I think. With the sister at the hitting-puberty stage that by itself often leads to, shall I say, not as endearing behavior, also, I certainly sympathize with you – please treat yourself kindly, as well as your children. I hope you all have people you can talk about it with, and the activities suggested by others are really good ideas. And, JDRF, or your doctor or CDE, might have suggestions of both support groups and therapists: it’s perfectly normal to seek help at this stressful time, for all 3 of you. Hugs!
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im a little old to be a fan of the jonas brothers, however, i do recommend watching their documentary on amazon prime…Nick’s diagnosis was the most memorable part, and it might help her…there is a lot of great information offered in this topic as well as others, but it can be overwhelming… seems like the most important thing to remember is that type 1/lada is approximately 5% of the diabetic population, and most of the “diabetics can’t eat anything with sugar” is geared towards 1908 diabetes knowledge and type2, 114 years later, most decent endocrinologists, nurse practitioners, and diabetes educators have learned it’s just a lack of a hormone(insulin) that needs to be given via a pump, injection, inhaled, etc…finding a knowlegeable professional may be your most important challenge…in the 80s i was diagnosed and my endocrinologist adjusted my nph and regular insulin without any explanations, no insulin to carb ratios, no correction insulin amounts, utterly useless…i learned more about type1 from my dentist, and eventually from more knowledgeable nurse practitioners who can help to establish a starting point for all of the important math that will hopefully become 2nd nature soon…maybe a donut breakfast and cgm is all she needs, just make sure her insulin to carb ratios are correct and memorize the carb values ahead of time… jelley or boston creams are probably closer to 70grams of carbs each, where a normal glazed is probably closer to 40grams…
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A camp for young diabetics is good idea. I am type 2 35+ years. Diag. In my mid 30s. Hard for children, even hard for adults. I knew one diab. consultant who was herself in denial early years, for some time, then she finally took control, lots tips, knowledge. Jim
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@ChloesMom I received the following article and thought about you and your daughters. I am worried about the child without type 1 as much as Chloe, while I didn’t see anything about helping siblings of a type 1 child, perhaps one of the contacts can help.
Just found this:
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I was only a little older than her when I was diagnosed (58 years ago!) and it took me close to a year to actually accept it. I can attest that I hated it, truly hated it, for that first year and was extremely resentful and hurt that something like that could happen to me! It is a huge change and it will take some time before she accepts it and learns to live with it. If she wants to talk to someone, feel free to contact me.
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I truly thank everyone for responding from the bottom of my heart, I feel so hopeful and not alone in this! Every single thing said has been so informative.
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Thank you so much for this article!!
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That makes my day!
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I agree 100% with this. Part of your daughter’s anger is masking a large amount of fear that she is feeling & even might be sensing from the adults in her life. – Knowledge and “matter-of-fact,” “no bulls*@#” language will help bring down the heightened anxiety. – And therapy for mom & dad in particular. Chloe needs to go to diabetes camp every year until she goes to college.
From teacher of 20 years
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No matter how much they want to grow up, or how kids on TV act, an 8 year old is still a very young child, totally dependent on its parents to protect it.
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You are seeing her understandable anger at her world changing. She’s experiencing fear, confusion and doubt about who she is now. The more you change from how you treated her before, the greater her uncertainty about your love. A child’s concept of love is 100% how she is treated. A parent changing behavior is scary to both your children.
Listening to someone vent when you don’t fully appreciate how they feel know isn’t what a child needs. Neither is letting a child do whatever she feels like doing. If you treat her like she’s now special, you may be making her more scared than she already is.
You know she is grieving, but don’t understand that grief can’t be accelerated from the outside. A grieving person needs to reshape their world view and relationships in their own time.
There’s a new book being released a chapter at a time about a young person just diagnosed that may be of value to both your children. I’ve received the first 4 chapters. They reminded me of feelings and experiences I had decades ago and had forgotten. I was lucky that I wasn’t a child. It was hard for me as an independent adult.
The book so far is quite good and educational as well, showing not just what every person who is recently diagnosed goes through at some level, but how 100 years ago, pre-insulin type 1 diabetes wasn’t inconvenient, it was a literal death sentence.
Imo, No one with diabetes or a family member could read this book and not sympathize with the feelings the newly diagnosed experience, but how lucky we all are that they are going to live long and productive lives.
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