I was diagnosed at 14 (now 18) and my biggest problem with it was feeling like I was a "special kid", always going to the nurse's office, measuring my food, writing down everything I ate, etc. Part of her problem may be that she feels like it defines her, when she is so much more than her diabetes. It's important to understand and emphasize to her that it is simply a medical condition and a part of her daily routine, as opposed to part of her personality. The DNE told me all about diabetes camps, but I'm not a "special kid" and I went back to the camp I had been attending for years. We are regular people with diabetes, not diabetics, and when it's hard to manage (lots of testing and highs, frequent conversations about it, everyone is frustrated, etc.) that knowledge can be forgotten. Diabetes management is objective. When you have the flu, you take medicine. Your high temperature is just a number and you work to fix it. Same with blood sugar readings.
During a burnout phase, my mom showed me an article about some 80-year old women with T1D, and I responded that I wanted to have an article written about me for my accomplishments, not my disease. So far, the ONLY thing diabetes has prevented me from doing is joining the Air Force. That's literally it. I'm an athlete, a future physician, a girlfriend, a musician and a traveler, but I'm not a diabetic. I just happen to have diabetes.
Also, perhaps switching up her regimen could make her more compliant. I got the omnipod after a year of diabetes and it's made it so much easier. I loved that in a restaurant I could dial in my bolus under the table like I was texting instead of running to the bathroom to shoot up. When it's more convenient, she may be more open to taking care of herself.
I disagree with Jan's response (first response). Treating her like that will make her neurotic and she'll be even more resistant.
I'm not a parent, but I have certainly been a kid with diabetes. This isn't going to be easy to hear, but I wanted to try to give you some perspective on how she may be feeling. She is obviously not the rigid, disciplined type, and I'm guessing a little on the rebellious side, even if she's generally well-behaved. Kids want to be kids, they want to be normal, they don't want to be different, right? T1D is her disease, not yours. But I appreciate you want to support her in managing it, and that's what she needs to know, that she can come to you when she needs someone to just listen. Most T1D's go through this phase. Encourage her to go on forums like this and TypeOneNation to chat with other teens so she can vent and complain and have a safe place to talk with people who "get it" firsthand. Ask her doc to spend a little extra time with her, or a Certified Diabetes Educator (they have more time to meet with patients). They can help her understand that she will feel a lot better with lower BG's, less sleepy. I know you care and want the best for her, but this is her disease and unfortunately you are not in control. She needs to be, and it may take her a while before it sinks in. My mom was the opposite, totally uninvolved, but I don't know if it would have made any difference. I had to come to these realizations myself. It's a tough road for parents, obviously. It may also help to leave behind the mindset that T1D's "control" our diabetes, because we don't. Our pancreas doesn't work, and our bodies are in control - all we can do is manage it as best we can by trying to identify patterns, eat right as much as possible, and most of all, check our BG's frequently to have the chance to correct it. Maybe the "control" thing is getting to be too much for her, and "managing" it may resonate more with her. Best wishes!
Given her mother is the one here AND receptive to feedback, questions we are limited in some ways.
If the problem(s) is/are crushing her daughter, more testing won't turn out well on any level, I'd offer. We're not talking hugging puppies here, its getting blood, our blood that no matter how we do it by definition is just plain "ouchy".
I'd agree how it gets framed, RE-framed could be helpful. Gotta be done carefully so that its not just words though, you know? An experiment, a game, all kinds of labels could do the trick... if her daughter is receptive to them.
Dia-cide, the slow and deliberate denial of ones disease by varying degrees leads no place good. It is the definitive act of both determination and ultimately self-control. A bad game to be sure, but ours none the less.
How can we deflect our peers, divert them from such heavy paths? She is not the first, and will never be the last whether actively, consciously or otherwise. How can we help her, her mother, our peers deflect the outcome to better ends?
