Not Sure

I really think I am depressed i was looking up atypical depression and i have basically all the symptoms. I consistently eat and eat and im starting to gain weight the past few months. I stay up until like 5am sometimes because i just can’t sleep and than when i do sleep i sleep for like 10 or 12 hrs sometimes. I randomly cry sometimes for stupid stuff i shouldn’t get upset with. I’ve been diagnosed with diabetes, hypertension, hypothyroid, high cholesterol and it seems like everything is just falling apart with me. Ive had diabetes like 8yrs now and the first few years i took really good care of it and now i just seem not to care its so exhausting. I get motivated to take better care of it for a few days than i just seem to stop doing it all. Not sure what else to write but any help with this would be great i have no insurance so i can’t really go to my doctor to find out anything.

You’ve hit burnout. Depression also makes control more difficult. These things feed upon each other. At my lowest my A1C was it’s highest. Later I realized that it was my diabetes that was doing the biggest number on me in the depression department. I was having insulin reactions that would amplify my depression and the reactions were terrifying. I didn’t feel like I was low. I decided that I had to learn how to work this. Check out what mental health services are available in your community, talking it out with someone will help a lot. It seems like everything is crashing in around you but it is all do-able. What are you doing for medical care? Are you eligible for Medicaid? Hypothyroidism is treatable. I am on a thyroid med myself. All of your emotional responses and inability to sleep or sleeping for long periods of time are classic depression symptoms. It’s going to take treatment of the depression to help break this cycle.

You need some meds and some support. Investigate what state resources are available to you. It’s hard to move forward when it seems like none of it matters and that it is all way too hard. What you are feeling is real but it is treatable.

It does get better. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better.

What is Life?
It’s a journey through a way,
Through which we must go-
Away and away…

What is Life?
It’s a very tough game,
Performance is what-
Brings us the name…

What is Life?
It’s today full of sorrow,
Face this eye to eye-
Joy will come tomorrow…

absolutely wonderful poetry. the last phrase…wow my goodness. That you!