Bikette, it sounds like you have a lot to deal with! When I went on pills, first for hypertension, then thyroid and depression, my friend Mariann told me, "Remember, pills are your friends!" That is, if they help you feel better. And my prescriptions do help me feel better -- I have tried going off them and have gotten very sick.
I'm on Cymbalta, for depression and not willing to go off it, because I have had problems with depression all my life. And while an antidepressant, for me, doesn't lift the depression, it does keep me from obsessing with suicidal thoughts. Last summer the depression lifted in an instant, one moment I was depressed, the next moment I wasn't, and I could feel the difference! I REALLY wish I knew why that happened -- I could sell it to other people and become a millionaire, LOL!!! But I stay on the Cymbalta for prevention, and hope I never get suicidal again, although the risk is there.
Best wishes to everyone who is stuggling with this KILLER disease!