I have had Diabetes for around 2 years. Caused they think (yeah we know they don’t really know) by a very bad digestive track infection that almost killed me. Now I have had bad kidneys since I was eight—that almost killed me too…so I have lived with a deamon most of my life.
My husband has been in constant painn for the last 19 years—almost 20, from an on-the-job-injury. I REALLY don not know how he manages…and then I think…I know how bad I feel that he is in pain…and I know it bothers him that I have Diabetes—I know what it is like to be the person who feels helpless about what the other is going through…I somehow I feel guilty about putting him through this too…
And work…it is annual review time. Commitments and goals and it is all a bunch of huey. Like they give you this rule book for the “game” Everyone knows it is really not the real rule book–but management pretends it is…and all (well most-no I am not one of them) the little pawns (yep we had a manager who actually out it out there and said we were his pawns to do with as he saw fit). So we have another meeting—waste of time-- to discuss this years department commimtments-to which we must all align. This years new hot word—diferentiation— I really get warm fuzzies for that one.
Probably would not bother me as much, but our groupis understaffed and our boss seems loathe to admit it. I have more work to do thatn I can get done in a reasonable day (we ain’t talking 8 hour days here either), so wasting an hour on stuff that doesn’t matter, isn’t gonna make things better, is really irritating today.
I work for a good co overall, been here 10+ years…but thsi is one of those low points in the ride. I get decent pay, great benefits, and know it will get better–just impatient for it to get back there, and am afraid with the economyh–it may not get better fast…
Maybe I feel all bad today because the week started out crappy with bad insulin, and my numbers still seem a bit whacky…maybe I am hormonal…but today it all just seems a bit overwhelming and venting to my other half seems, well like I am a weanie-after all–my issue is treatable…even with meds and a spinal cord stim he is still in pain every freakin day–sure he doesn’t think so, but I feel so…
Well…gott go soI am not late for the waste of time meeting…
thanks for letting me vent!