Partner of a type one, having a hard time coping

hello. my type one is my best friend and partner of two years. he is twenty seven years old and had his diagnosis eleven years ago. his numbers have been very high lately and of course i’m very scared for him. beyond the health issues the highs can cause we are fighting terribly. i’m an architecture student, so my stress levels have been high and i’m sure with the commencement of my classes he has become stressed as well. i’m looking for dinner kind of extra support and advice to help us cope and to help get his numbers under control. any help would be greatly appreciated

If he wants to fix the numbers, it's sort of his thing. It's great that you are helping him and an architectural/ math/ science background would probably be very helpful but, if my numbers are off, I bang away with more insulin. For a long time, I wasn't really organized about it and gained a lot of weight overshooting and eating to keep up but I'd rather do that than run high all the time. That's no fun. I think that he has to make changes. *peeks* if you are in Canada and he doesn't get a ton of support from his doc/ medical providers (or anywhere else, but I've noticed that Canada seems to pose challenges?), he should get on here and post some more specifics and people will probably help him.

I agree with AR. If he is consistently high lately than something in his management is not working or has changed and he needs to figure it out and compensate for it. You don't include any details and it wouldn't make a lot of sense to give you detailed answers anyway. What he needs to do is come on here himself and give some specifics so we can support him in making changes. But he has to want to do that. You can't do it for him. All you can do is be there for him and maybe all you can do right now is take care of yourself so he can do the same.

I can tell you that most of us feel pretty crummy when our BGs get high (generally over 200). You can feel irritable, moody, have a headache, etc. I am definitely nicer when my BGs are in range!

Can you describe a little more about what you mean by "very high?"

Do you have any idea what is going on that would cause these high blood sugars?

It is not uncommon for T1s to go through any number of things that cause blood sugar levels to go higher. Some can develop insulin resistance or just changing insulin needs, which they may or may not be quick to respond to. A looming infection or illness can cause blood sugar levels to go up, as can stress.

And sometimes burnout is the culprit. T1 diabetes is a tough disease to manage. It's 24/7. It gets old after awhile. It's not uncommon for people to sometimes just stop caring, especially when they have been dealing with it a number of years. The worst part is that this can turn into a dangerous cycle (not caring leads to higher BGs which leads to a bad mood/depression which leads to more not caring).

Ultimately, he is in control of his health. You can support and listen, but you can't do the work for him.

Have you had a conversation with him about this?

It’s a lot of him not caring most of the time. We’ve had numerous discussions about how to try and achieve a normal bg level. I see a lot of wacky numbers, usually above 18. Being Canadian I’m not sure how that translates. Sorry. Unfortunately I know it’s up to him to try eating healthy, staying away from his weaknesses which include everything from pastries and candy. He tests only four times daily, and only if I urge him to more than that due to his moods. I’m out of town for my education, so I’m unable to cook meals regularly for him or make lunches. Knowing that stress contributes is a huge factor, because I’m sure my being away and stressed with school has had a similar effect on him also. He refuses to see his endo because he knows his D is out of control and he is worried that he will lose his licence. He can at times overcompensate with insulin as I have seen him go low numerous times also. Last I checked his meter history he was normal only four times in a month… I do know however that he was at normal bg levels more often, he just tests so rarely. He also has epilepsy due to a sub dermal hematoma (equivalent to a stroke) which was caused by him passing out due to a low bg. He was in a coma for a week. This was ten years ago this fall, so I’m unsure that this had much bearing on our situation, however it is another struggle we face. I love him dearly and we are planning our lives together, however I do not want to lose him earlier due to mismanagement of his D. It’s good to read I’m not alone in feeling the way I do with his moods though. I feel as though I’m on a rollercoaster ride some days…