Perceiving Diabetes as a Weakness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define diabetes as being weak and define myself as being weak wherein I want to hide the disease from all other people so that they do not find out that I am weak and then `pounce` on the subject and me; constantly living in fear of other people finding out about myself having diabetes, attempting to avoid injecting insulin in public at all costs, refusing to go out for dinner because that would mean I would have to inject in public, and sometimes eating and not injecting because of the fear of others seeing me as weak for being a diabetic causing more harm to myself simply from the fear of being seen as weak

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I only fear being seen as weak for being a diabetic because I have accepted and allowed myself to define diabetes as a weakness, using the information about being diabetes to fuel and support this belief and definition instead of looking at practical possibilities in application of myself in having diabetes, such as it gives me a clear view of how the pancreas functions, it gives me a opportunity to become ultimately responsible for supporting myself in health, it gives me a chance to see the effects of food groups on sugar levels and the rate of metabolization of specific food groups, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that being a diabetic gives me an opportunity to see me in a different context, one that many others do not have the ability to see because the body exists on autopilot while we/they participate within the mind within illusions and fantasies without a consideration of the body and the constant functions that it does for us to be here on this Earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that diabetes is an opportunity for me to see me and to understand myself within having diabetes, within such moments of consuming a lot of candy or high carbohydrates and why I allowed myself to do such a thing, because the physical manifested consequence comes within 30 minutes of eating the food, and in this I can use this as an opportunity to investigate myself and what prods me to not take what I am doing into consideration within eating food and injecting insulin and in this to tae into consideration what I am accepting and allowing myself to be and live, as the consequence is almost immediate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that diabetes is not a strength nor a weakness but an opportunity for me to see me and get to know me intimately and how I accept and allow myself to function within this world in regards to simply points such as self-sabotage wherein I consume food because of emotional instability and do not take the proper care of myself within testing, and that in this I am able to use this as an opportunity to see what is going on within myself within the mind in the moment to understand myself in what stops me from taking proper care of myself within having diabetes, and within this it becomes an opportunity as I create it as an opportunity for myself instead of holding it over my head and life as a constant burden and a sign of weakness that I want to hide from others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the weakness that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being a diabetic within is really fear, it is a fear of myself using points and opportunities within my reality to make myself seem more than others, because as I see it as a weakness and fear others abusing this weakness I am in fact only fearing myself because it is clear within that moment that that fear has come up within ME and thus I have become it and created it meaning that I would take someone elses weakness and use it against them to further support my own self interest and that within this it is a cool opportunity to see myself and the relationships that I am living sub or unconsciously and see how I would not like to be treated the way I am treating others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I create diabetes as a weakness unto myself by allowing the relationship between myself and diabetes exist within the definition and belief of being weak, which means that I am able to change the relationship with myself and diabetes by investigating myself within diabetes and seeing past the veil of the belief of weakness and to see how I can assist and support myself as life within having diabetes and how I can assist others within diabetes as well, and give as I would like to receive which would be support within being a diabetic and an understanding of how diabetes functions and how I function within having diabetes

I commit myself to stopping the belief of diabetes being a weakness unto myself within one breath and to re-create my relationship with diabetes to equality and oneness wherein I use diabetes and myself to support what is best for all life equal and one, and in this to support myself as life in equality and oneness by stopping the fear of being seen as weak and stop standing IN FEAR(ior) to myself within diabetes and stand as an equal to myself in diabetes by walking with myself in having diabetes and coming to a complete understand, through time, of myself within diabetes and how diabetes functions, was created, and what I can do now here within a life of limitation to support the best possible outcome within being a diabetic

I commit myself to standing equal and one with myself within diabetes so that I can support myself instead of reacting in fear of being seen as weak which causes unnecessary problems, understanding myself in equality and how I live myself and the relationships that I have created myself as, an in this stop the relationship of fear and weakness in regards to being a diabetic and use this as an opportunity to understand what is means to live what is best for all and to love thy neighbour as thyself

If you want to get stronger, do pushups.

Interesting dialogue with oneself ...and we are all different correct ?? I have never beaten myself up for being diagnosed with diabetes, breast cancer, thyroid issues, osteoporosis ,age related glaucoma, cataracts,basal cancer carcinoma, born at the start of WW2 ...I do the best I can living in beautiful BC :)

Hugs from Maureen

I always try to remember this when I
m feeling crap about being d and not managing to keep the blds within range. You see there was a ward in a hospital, full of docs and nurses. They were asked to follow a diabetic's routine for ONE WEEK. Guess how many of them could get through the week without throwing the towel in.

I also believe it is an opportunity.

Nel, What I've seen with walking these posts with other people is that we all have the same constructs within us. Others may have similar points, not necessarily with Diabetes but with other illnesses or social stigmas, and they are able to use those things to support themselves in seeing themselves.

Judith, It does not matter whether or not you `earned it` you are you and you must live with it, so why burden yourself by seeing it as a scourge, as well I find that I hate having diabetes as well when I simply do not understand it, that is why I keep a log with more information that simply boluses and Readings, so that when the same event occurs I'm not left in the dark in frustration by not understanding it. Sure you don't need to forgive yourself but it is a lot ■■■■■■■ better than holding onto it for a lifetime. Look at your words and how you place blame on your father for you being a diabetic, causing a separation between taking responsibility for yourself being a diabetic...I mean that itself is a point to forgive

Josephine, How many doctors and nurses participated in the experiment and how many gave up?

Thanks All for the comments.

Not too sure how many docs or nurses involved, I was told they all gave up because they were just too busy with their normal lives to follow what is normally asked of a diabetic. The person in question was perhaps trying to make me feel better, but it makes me feel strongto think I can and that I can continue on this tightrope year after year. I do like your take on things, keep up the writing.