Perseverance Paper

I'm a freshman in college I have to write a paper on the definition of a word. Pretty much we pick a word and describe how our life could define that word. This is what I came up with. If you have any suggestions let me know. This isn't the final draft. It's the first time I've gotten to write about having diabetes for school and I'm pretty excitied about it. :))

Perseverance

Two thousand nine hundred and twenty is the number of times I will prick my finger this year. I have a lifelong disease, type I diabetes. It’s a twenty four hour seven days a week battle with food, exercise, and insulin. Diabetes never sleeps or takes a vacation. Every moment is planned and every carbohydrate counted. There is no cure, but I also have perseverance so I will live.

Every morning I wake up roll over, and check my blood sugar. I check my sugar six to eight times a day. Three times a week I change my infusion site for my insulin pump. Every three months I have to get my blood drawn and have a check up with my endocrinologist. Some days are better than others, but every day is a battle. Perseverance is what I think of the days I want to give up. Some mornings I can barely get out of bed because my body desperately needs sugar. Other times I may feel nauseated and exhausted, all I need is insulin.

Type I diabetes is fatal unless treated with insulin. Type I is the result of an autoimmune disorder that destroys the beta cells in the pancreas that are needed to produce insulin. If not treated diabetes can do damage to the heart; blood vessels; eyes; kidneys; and nerves. My pancreas doesn’t work and nobody really understands why. For the rest of my life I will live with an artificial pancreas called an insulin pump that is attached to me by a tube. My artificial pancreas is named Forrest Pump and together we tackle diabetes.

Perseverance is a part of my everyday battle with diabetes. Perseverance is determination, commitment, and hard work. I’m determined to not let diabetes stop me from doing anything I want to do. I’m committed to staying in control of my life and not letting diabetes take it from me. It’s being able to work through something difficult and not getting discouraged. It’s never giving up. Having perseverance brings me optimism. With perseverance I work hard in hopes that my efforts will pay off. To me it’s a habit, a habit to keep going even though others may give up. I’ll pray for a cure but until then perseverance is there to keep me waking up every morning happy that I’m living with it and not dying from it.

Great attitude communicated through the paper. =^) You really sound like youve got a great outlook on dealing with the disease.
Just a side note, AFAIK, the AI disorder kill off the beta cells, not the insulin created by them.

Good essay. I especially like the opening - gets my attention. Do you want to know about any minor spelling or syntax problems or does that matter? You might want to change the line about your insulin pump that is ‘attacked’ to you, rather than attached.
Diabetes never sleeps or takes a vacation. You need a neither to use a nor.
All days are a battle = plural subject, singular predicate. How about: Every day is a battle…?
I hope you are ok with these little grammar bits. I don’t want to sound critical because I really like what you wrote and want you to get a super grade on your paper.

Great essay and wonderful outlook! I think you’ll do well. :slight_smile:

I have a saying:

“When the going gets tough, the tough get coffee!”

Seriously, diabetes (as does life), really requires a solid drive.

You just made my day with your gutsy approach.

Thankyou.

I absolutly LOVE IT!!! I have written about diabetes for school in one of my speach classes. We had to write about something or an experience that forever changed our lives. And as a diabetic you know that your Dday is a day that is never forgotten and has forever changed your life.
I wish you the best with this essay.

Wonderful cheered me up and now I am more then ready what it might bring tomorrow.
I was feeling down but your essay has given me that push that I needed.
Well done.xxx

That’s a great paper Jamie!
As far as suggestions, I would not use apostrophes (spell the words out instead when using formal writing). Also I would suggest putting paragraph 3 in front of paragraph 2. That the way the paper flows more like: intro to you, explanation of diabetes, info about your ups and downs with battling the disease, and then conclusion about how persevering through it all makes life manageable.
I think the paper is great and I hope you do well with it! I have written several papers through my education related to diabetes (history of it, management of it, future of it, etc). I mean, if you’ve got it, flaunt it right? :wink: I would say take advantage of every opportunity that you have, especially if you are passionate about it (and from the sounds of this paper, you definitely are!). Good luck and keep us posted on how your instructor likes it!

Great information & great feedback to help you get the BEST grade you can on your paper!