Please help and tell me I'm not crazy

My job recently decided to switch my shift so that I have to leave my diabetic 2-year-old with a babysitter all night twice a week. I am completely, utterly not comfortable with this. She usually only watches him 3 days a week, 3 hours a day, so this is a very big change. My husband and I can’t bring ourselves to do it and we’ve told my manager that I can’t, in good conscience, leave him. He’s bottomed out three times this week alone and when he does, it’s like fighting a tiger to get anything into him to bring him up. Most times it takes an hour of fighting.

People at work are telling me that I’m overreacting and that I’m trying to get out of the switch by pulling the “my son has a chronic disease” card. I’m quite offended by that. I have no problem with our older, nondiabetic daughter staying there overnight or the shift, only leaving him overnight with her. There are no other babysitters in the area who will watch him overnight or, when I tell them he’s diabetic, will agree to watch him at all. The babysitter can’t get trained because she can’t spend the day or the gas money getting to Indianapolis. She has a chronically ill child herself, watches three others overnight, and she has a few medical problems of her own. I just don’t see how she’d be able to give him the kind of care that he requires overnight.

Any advice you have would be appreciated. I’ve already told my manager the reasons I can’t do it but he doesn’t seem to care. My husband can’t change his shift, either, to make sure that we wouldn’t have any days of leaving him overnight. My shift would be from 4:30 to 3am, so she’d have to give him his dinner shot.

Wow, Amy. What a terribly frustrating situation for you.

It is just too much for you to be forced to ask your babysitter to be responsible for the overnight care of a child who deals with such frequent overnight lows. I would encourage you to stand your ground. Maybe get your son’s doctor involved so you have some documentation showing why your child needs vigilant attention from you during the night.

Please keep us updated on your situation.

Wowsa that is huge and for people to state you are playing the chronic disease card, just breaks my heart. These people truly don’t understand the life and death situation of treating your child and getting him to eat. I have a three year old niece that refuses to eat on a daily basis, but the thing is she does not have to eat.

I really don’t have any advice, but I do feel your pain and struggle, but I also know things will work out as they are meant to be.

I’m going to call our ped endo tomorrow and see if there’s anything they can do. Even giving me a medical excuse to take a leave would help until I find something else.

Rainbowgoddess, that would be lovely if there were any. We live in a tiny town of 1900 and the only T1 I know of is a 10-year-old whose mother is a nurse at my family doctor’s. I may call tomorrow and see if she’s available, although I’m not sure she lives in town or would be willing.

Try to get FMLA (family medical leave act) that will give you a buffer while you are trying to find something else or contact the American with Disabilities Act and see what kind of help they might be able to give you.

From my quick research, Indiana employment law is pretty weak. Check this out, though:

“Although Indiana is an employment-at-will state, the federal Family and Medical Leave Act offers some protection for employees taking time off for illness. If you have questions concerning Family and Medical Leave and whether it applies, please contact the U.S. Department of Labor, Wage & Hour Division in Indianapolis at (317) 226-6801 or South Bend at (574) 236-8331.”

I thought of a couple hundred responses to your sympathetic co-workers, but all of them just fan the flames. This one I like, though: “I don’t really give a ■■■■ what you think. I have a sick child and I’m going to do everything I can to take care of him, just like you would. So say anything you want about Mama Bear, but leave the cub alone.”

As for your super, ask if he’d rather have you there with all your wits about you or on edge waiting to leave at a moments notice because you got a phone call that that your son has to go to the hospital. Ask about some other shift you can do or, if it’s a question of fairness to your co-workers, ask about some other crap job or hours you can do instead.

Also, give Larry Bird a call. He’s from French Lick, isn’t he?

Good grief! You are not overreacting. This is a serious situation. Once again, people making judgements on something they absolutely do not understand.
In a town of 1900 I don’t suppose the opportunities for employment are that abundant but I would be keeping an eye out for another job. I like the idea of taking advantage of the Family Medical Leave Act.
Good luck!
-Dena

Amy,I have few mothers who faced the same situation,doing shifts and had to leave their small children with their maids.They give NPH only before they leave,and teach the maid how to check BG and phone to know.Hypoglycemia at night for 2 y old has to be checked. I mean if you have to face this 2 days shift,you can check BG before you leave,give NPH.Give your babysitter glucagon just in case. That what some mothers have to do here anyway.
Hope you will find a solution to this situation,best wishes.

The way you’re being treated is completely unacceptable! You are not overreacting at all and I think it’s extremely inconsiderate and unfair of your coworkers to say so. I think you should speak to your manager again, and maybe tell him that if anything happens to your son while you’re at work against your will and at a time you have already stated just isn’t suitable for you, then the company will have more to worry about than you being there for your shift because they’ll be dealing with a major law suit. Maybe that’ll show him just how much he needs to take on board what you’re saying, because it’s disgraceful that he doesn’t seem to care about something so serious.

Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out eventually!!

I don’t know if this helps or hurts my cause, but I had to leave today at 3 instead of 6 because Steven went down to 31 and kept passing out on my husband. A few calls to Riley’s later, we weren’t sure if we were to take him into the ER or not. I mentioned it to my supervisor and she sent me home via security escort (I don’t drive). I don’t know if they’re going to think I’m expendable or finally understand that I’m not making it up about how serious it is.

He’s at 89 right now, sipping Sunkist. The nurse told us to keep feeding him something every half hour and testing him and to give him glucogon if it ends up he’s low and unresponsive or fighting us about eating too hard. I can’t imagine leaving him with a babysitter. I also can’t imagine staying at work while he’s like this. They’ve cut his insulin as of tomorrow morning, but that didn’t help today. :frowning:

Thank you for understanding, everyone. For a while, I started believing them that maybe I was overreacting. I asked the nurse while I was on the phone with her and all she says is to train the babysitter. I could see doing that if he weren’t a toddler who can’t communicate everything he’s feeling. I wouldn’t have a problem with it if he were older and could tell her, “Hey, I think I’m going low” or if he even showed some signs. He just falls asleep, which is kind of usual for a 2-year-old.

They asked me point-blank if I accepted the new schedule and I said no. Now I have until the 6th to either find a place to transfer or turn in a resignation. There isn’t anything in the company that pays enough to even pay for babysitting, much less my house payment and groceries. I really don’t know what we’re doing but at least that stress is finished.

Holy, that is alot to deal with.
I had a problem at a job and I contacted a lawyer and the American Diabetes Association for help.
It will take time but I too will win in the end, Hope you do too. Another place to call is the Labor Department in your area. Threats and discrimination are illegal federally and that is another place to call after contacting the state they can give you the phone numbers you need.

Good luck