Ramblings of a Mad Man Part II

Time passes quickly. Dates get lost or forgotten - wither on purpose or suppressed. The only thing that seems to live forever is memories.

There was a time when one of my goals in life was to play hockey until I was 55 years old. I love the game. I love what the game teaches you, so simple yet profound. "When you fall down, get back up". That goal is gone. Just staying alive for the next five minutes has replaced it. What happens when you don't want to get up anymore?

There was a time when being "normal" was the driving force in my life. Getting back who and what I was was before events in Iraq changed me in ways I never thought or believed were possible. Loosing your mind is a scary process, being striped of who you are and what you believe little by little until it's gone. If you are lucky, you never notice that its happening. The nursery rhyme, "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again" comes to mind.

Two steps forward, three steps back. One mountain is climbed, two more replace it. Victories are short lived, with no rest between struggles. Maybe Buddha was right - life is suffering.