Random Thoughts

Morning effects: Several weeks ago, I noticed my BGs rapidly rising in the mornings, so I increased my basal, and that worked for a while. This morning, I started at 6:15 at 90. By 9 am, I was 193, and the only things I had eaten were two small pieces of cereal that fell out of my daughter’s bowl (yes, it was Trix, but it was only two small pieces, so should that have caused a rise of 100+ points? After a Zone shake for breakfast, I’m at 253 two hours later (yes, only a rise of 60 points, but shouldn’t the correction part of the bolus helped?). I could not resist, so I took a correction bolus – the pump said to take a 2.7 correction, but, since there was 2.4 on board, I should only take .3 units, and that sure did not sound like enough, so I took 1.4. Am I foolish for doing so? We’ll see in a couple of hours. But this is all somewhat typical.

Weight: A couple of years ago, when my marriage was collapsing, I went on a crash diet and lost almost 60 pounds. I went from 217 down to 158. Friends and family (and my doctors) said at that point that I was too thin. Also, the efforts to save the marriage went for naught, so I gradually started creeping back up. I felt good in the mid-170s, then felt as long as I stayed under 180, I was good. Then it was 185, then 190, and so on. My clothes do not fit any more (and I got rid of virtually all of my “fat clothes”), so I spend the day in pants that are a struggle to close. Now, at 197 (though down a couple from early last week), I’ve got to take control again and get back to what I did to lose the weight. I still go to the gym, but it is not enough, so I’m back on the spin bike. And, resurrecting my food log – back to counting calories and carbs taken in (1800 calories per day average for a week is my goal) and burning 3,000 calories per week in the gym or on the spin bike. The problem is, I like food. I have a sweet tooth, and I know how to bolus for many of the sweets that I eat, so I don’t go too high as a result of them. Unfortunately, that just means more weight, because insulin does not get rid of calories. Weight goal is 185 by Memorial Day weekend. 13 pounds in about 18 weeks. I can do that. Just have to stick with the program.

Part of the problem now is that I feel pretty bad about the current stage of my life right now. Trying to get my divorce final, but it is a difficult thing to do. Need to sell the family home, but, since we need a price that was good a year ago, that’s not going to happen for a long time, so I’m stuck in an awkward residence situation. Weight and diet have felt out of control. Woes of the economy are depressing everyone. And I could go on. I know things will be better soon, and that I just need to get control over the things that I can control.

Doctors: About 18 months ago, I ditched my NYC medical team for the Joslin Clinic in Boston. It seemed like it was worth the travel expenses, since the visit was covered by insurance, and my NYC team was essentially not covered. But, it has become so difficult to get an appointment at Joslin – 5-6 months ahead – and because I want to see the doctor, CDE and nutritionist all at once, it is tough to do, particularly if one has to cancel at the last minute. So, I’m going to try the Naomi Berrie Center here in NYC. I’ve recently come to the view that I have to be my own doctor, but I need to get a check up everyonce in a while, and get my prescriptions refilled and get bloodwork done. Hopefully, the team there will have the knowledge to give me some new approaches.

Just random thoughts. Thanks for reading.