Reality check

So, I got a definite reality check today from one of my friends…my doctors have always tried the whole scare tactic thing with me to try and get me to take my insulin and take care of myself. Now one of my friends is doing it too.

I told her about the neuropathy and the retinopathy starting and she said “do you want to go blind because that is what is going to happen.”

In some ways it was a reality check for me, but in many ways it still doesn’t faze me. I know that I could go blind and it would be sooner rather than later. It doesn’t really scare me though. Maybe I just have that much of a death wish though.

I wish that it would faze me. I wish that it was enough for me to take my insulin, but it’s just not. I don’t know what it is going to take in order to do that? I know that I need to go back in the hospital and soon. I plan on talking to my therapist about it tomorrow and see what happens. Maybe he won’t think that I need to go in. I don’t want to go, but I think that it’s the best thing for me.

Growing up we never talked about diabetes, we still don’t. My dad enables both me and my mom. When my mom is low he takes care of her now instead of me. This isn’t helping the situation though. And my dad still tells me to take my insulin. I wish that we could talk about it in a constructive manner and that things would get better with it. I know diabetes isn’t a death sentence or at least it doesn’t have to be, but I have made it into one.

Tomorrow can’t come soon enough…

If you need to talk w/ your dad why don’t you? you’re a grown up now sit him down and talk w/ him. stop wishing. you are strong enough and capable to hold an adult conversation with him.

but this isn’t about him it’s about you. take your insulin. life is hard but is also wonderful. being dead sucks. couple days back you felt great when your sugars were good. focus on that.

Be assertive with your therapist about your need to go to the hospital. Talk with your dad & ask your therapist for pointers about how to approach your dad. If it doesn’t work at first, try again later. That doesn’t work, write him a letter. Ultimately though, diabetes is yours to deal with.

Scare tactics usually don’t work because people never think it will happen to them. We don’t believe it, or fool ourselves into thinking it will happen so far in the future that we sweep under the rug for now. Diabetes scares me straight. I don’t want to have kidney failure & go through the agony of dialysis. I don’t want to be blind or have limbs amputated.

My mother became legaly blind in 03. She had sysmptoms and put off going to the doctor. By the time she got there it was to late. She used me as an excuse for not getting help.
I was going to visit my daughter in Germany and she said she was afraid I wouldn’t go if she went to the doc. Well the fact is we live 150 miles apart and she could have gone and I’d have never known
My mother loved to read, she loves getting cards in the mail. She use to love to grocery shop by herself. Many things that she enjoyed are now closed to her.

I agree an adult can take care of their own meds. Perhaps you can work it out your father so he allows you to take care of that for yourself.

My mother and sister lived together for many years. Once they no longer lived together my sister begin taking more responsibility for her own mental health issues. Mother always enabled her to do nothing and it was a sick kind of co-dependent relationship.
The best thing that ever happened was that mama moved into an apartment and my sister had to be on her own.

Good luck tomorrow
brn

Michelle sweetie, I have read a few of your blogs and I am new around here, but…it didn’t stop me from caring one bit. Life and Diabetes can go the wrong way if WE alow them too. But the Diabetes is for sure something you can take care of on your very own by taking your meds and watching your diet and just plain ole Loving your self.
Maybe your Dad would react to you better if you showed him your helping yourself.
I got Diabetes when I was 16 and I felt like a freak, and hide it from everyone. My Mother took the News, and through out a remark that has not left my mind for a lifetime, she said" you didn’t get it from me" you take care of it!! Ok I didn’t know how to take care of me, but one day at a time I did. One shot after another I put it in my mind it WAS my Diabetes, and thats not bad. I grew up, had some bad times with it, very sick times, but I owned it.
If you need help, sometime reaching in another direction from the one you WANT to pay attention, may suprise you and be the best choice,Your friend sounds like she really cares about you, and your Very lucky to have that. Sometimes friends get scared when we don’t take care of ourselves, they try to be gentle and kind, and sometimes because they know us so well they set the bar higher and use truth and fear on us, beacuse they know were not listening to them, and there hurting too. All hoping you listen to them. I think you should fear the complications that you are causing to enter you, you are young and its too soon.

I was told at 16 that was in 1972 that I wouldn’t live to be 40 yrs old, I listened and had hope and belief this wouldn’t be, I went on to marry and have 4 children…,

So taking your Insulin is and taking care of yourself is a Must, right…I wish I could take all your troubles away, I really do…I hope you can get the help you need if thats what you really want:)