Semi minor breakdown

So, I've gotten into the habit of not drawing until the food is on the table--which generally means, I start eating five minutes or so after everybody else at the table. And that's all right. I hate it when they wait for me--although I don't like it when they want me to pass food before I can eat--I mean, I need both hands to draw my insulin.

Tonight, while we were getting ready for dinner, I go in to get my insulin. I come back to the table. Mom says "Why don't you get the slotted spoon while you're up." I go and get it and bring it back to the table, with a snarky comment--something like "It's just going to make me later to dinner." So Mom says (and I know she didn't mean to be hurtful and was just making a snarky comment back) "I don't care if it takes you longer to eat."

And I burst out crying. And Dad, at the other end of the table, says something about it being hormonal (which really ticks me off, more than anything else). I get up to blow my nose, say "It's not hormonal" (well, it might have been but my glucose before dinner was 91, and I'm not having any girly-type issues at the moment--sometimes people are just upset without it being hormonal) and when he opened his mouth to say something snarky, I told him to shut up.

And then I took my insulin--probably a bit too much for the food that was on the table, and choked down some extra carb so I wouldn't go low later (even though my stomach was in knots and I didn't want it) and Mom apologized. Which set me off again.And so I tried to work out why I was upset--tried to explain it to her and to me.

It's not my fault. I don't want to have to take insulin before a meal so that everyone else finishes while I'm still drawing the blasted stuff (exaggeration--I know). I don't want them to have to wait for me. But it makes me feel like less of part of the family, anyway. And I know it shouldn't. But I wish they wouldn't ask me to "get [such and such], while you're up," especially when I've just taken my insulin and should be eating, or when I haven't taken it yet, and I'm going to have even less family time. Or when it's something I don't eat anymore. I like juice. Getting it while I'm up throwing out the wrapper on the syringe is annoying as anything.

I sound like a whining brat. I'm sorry. I wish it got easier. I'm so sick of it today.

I do love my parents. I'm not normally such an emotional wreck. Everything has just been so hard lately--from my sister's house, to my other sister's baby, to not having a summer job (although I'm working in the fall), to the diabetes.

Doesn't it take like 20 minutes for the insulin to start clicking? A lot of people try to bolus and wait 20 minutes to give the insulin time to get going?

I've never had much luck with waiting--it starts affecting me within five to ten minutes. And we tend not to have meals on a specific schedule. Today, I was at 91 just before dinner(5:45), 90 (7:22) about an hour and a half after, 86 (9:55) and 106 (11:37) just now. Plus it was a totally fried meal tonight, which would have a delayed spike.

The way my overnights have been going, that'll put me in the low 80s by morning--I might be hitting a spike at 45 min or 1 hour, but when I've checked about then on other days, I rarely see above 140. I think what I've been doing has been working pretty well--and I'm one of those people who get distracted and would forget to eat after bolusing. In fact, sometimes I forget to eat now--but my basal's working pretty well--as well as could be expected on MDI.

People in my family don't call people to dinner until the supper's on the table. I've told them it would be nice to have five minutes lead time, but they forget. And then there have been the times that we get called to the table, and someone pokes their fork in something and it goes back into the oven because it's not technically cooked. I do prebolus if I'm high--but never more than about 15 minutes--there're too many variables to make me totally comfortable with it.

Sounds like a typical family ;) You're entitled to a 'breakdown' once in a while. We all have times when the whole D thing just doesn't seem fair.

Hope you're feeling better today!

That sounds stressful. I thought of a couple of things on the elliptical...if this is the regular process for meals (load everything up, cook/ king sit down, request children/ servants fetch things...), perhaps over time you've adjusted your basal timing so a "sweet spot" hits to deal with the food? Maybe moving whatever your previous basal shot back like 1/2 hour-45 minutes might sort of move a "boost" and make dinner less stressful? I've had similar events, last year on Mother's Day, I was going all day, ran more than I had for a while, took mom to lunch (not her request...MrsAcidRock) then made fabulous spaghetti w/ Bolognese sauce for everyone, sat down to watch basketball game and MrsAcidRock made a crack "oh sure, let the moms clean up..." so I, being dutiful, cleared them out of the way and got going and the next thing I knew the paramedics were there going "your heart rate is irregular...go see the doctor *immediately*". My CGM had been reading 40 (metering in the 70s...) all day so I just sort of ignored it and was worn out from testing maybe 15x and all the other running around...

I'm often in a similar situation, but maybe worse. Because of the crazy religious sect I belong to, many of our family meals are actually ceremonial meals. For reasons of custom, not religious law, my wife insists that I remain the star performer.

Every one of these meals, several times a week, turns into a strategic event on the scale of the Normandy landings. One solution which is sometimes useful is to start eating with everyone, and then get up and inject. This also prevents me from getting too frightened about any unexpected delay.

One thing I frequently do is to make a joke out of it. Someone will say something that annoys me, often on an unrelated subject, and I'll answer: "Well, if you're going to talk to me like that, I'm going to go shoot up. That's what they taught me to do on the streets of [local slum neighborhood] when people get on my nerves."

But I wish they wouldn't ask me to "get [such and such], while you're up," especially when I've just taken my insulin and should be eating, or when I haven't taken it yet, and I'm going to have even less family time.
Explain all of this to them, but NOT after an event has just occurred. People get defensive if you tell them not to do something after they've just done it, and they stop listening.
Getting it while I'm up throwing out the wrapper on the syringe is annoying as anything.
Yes, I've discovered that getting rid of the little leftover bits (tissues with drops of blood, used meter-sticks, the little paper cover on the bottom of the needle, etc.) is one of the many little nuisances of diabetes. One idea which sometimes works for me is to walk around with a few baggies in my pocket. I shove the little bitties into a baggie, knot it closed, and throw it away when it's more convenient. I suppose that that's easier for boys, though, since girls don't always have pockets.

Good luck.
M.

I hated having to deal with that kind of thing too thats why i'm happy that I'm on my pump because it doesn't take as long now to get everything ready (insulin, needle) Just push some buttons and go! :)

This same scenario has played in my house so many times that your story made me smile, Teowyn. It's ok, we get it and many of us have been there.

My husband does all the cooking in our house and I do the cleanup - he's a great cook and it works for us. But dinner time is unpredictable so I usually end up eating later than everyone else too.

My response when someone asks me to go get something while I'm testing or giving insulin is to say "hold on, I have to give my insulin first". Period.

I don't care if they like it or not because that's what I have to do for me. My family has learned that either they'll have to wait for me to go get it or they'll go get it themselves if they're in that big a hurry.

And I understand about waiting until the foods on the table too. I still remember when we went to a favorite weekend breakfast place. You never can tell how long it will take to get your food there. When the food was served, I gave my injection and was waiting a couple of minutes. The waitress was all concerned because I wasn't eating yet..."Is everything all right?"

Oh the life we lead! :) Hang in there kiddo, you're not alone.

Thanks. I think I'll have that talk--soon. I might have to do it one on one with everyone--thanks for your advice/support/stories.