Shaking up a storm

So, I had my first low of 58 today at lunch. It has been awhile since I had one. I guess that’s what I get for taking my insulin…I was shaking so bad. I really hate lows. They make me feel powerless and overwhelmed. I stood by watching my therpist worry because I was shaking so bad and didn’t bring my lunch. Although he came to the resue with plenty of food that fit into my meal plan. I have always hated when I had to watch my mom when she was low, now I almost see it in another light…someone worried about me when I was having a low. It makes me sad that someone had to see it happen. I would rather just hide in a corner, take care of it, and then come back out when I feel better. Lows are so draining.

I start class tonight and while I haven’t really had much trouble with lows since college, I’m scared of them now. I know with taking my insulin that there’s a real possibility that it can happen. I know that all I can do is to be prepared for them. I always struggle with knowing if I should tell the teacher that I’m diabetic or if I should just leave it alone. I usually don’t say anything though because I don’t want any special treatment or to be treated differently.

As far as the diabulima, I’m fighting it. Some days are good and some days aren’t so good. I struggle with my meal plan and taking my insulin still. And I’ve been bingeing. I just like to numb out the pain. It makes things so much easier, but not better. I’m learning that the hard way. It’s all the emotional stuff that is causing the diabulimia, and I’m learning to sit with my feelings which is much easier said than done. I’m going to keep going though and I’m going to beat this thing somehow. I’m thinking about doing the Tour de Cure. What better way to stay in a routine and do something to help fight diabetes.

How we all hate lows! I become instantly depressed & weepy. Hate feeling unfocused & that ditzy. Fortunately, lows are easily & quickly corrected. I carry little bags of jelly beans & have them stashed in my desk, purse, car & night stand. Easier to carry around than those yucky glucose tabs. They’re my security beans:) Good news is that as your BG gets back to better ranges, the lows aren’t as scary or as dramatic. Coming down from high BG, it takes a bit to feel normal again.

My husband’s a college professor. He’s glad to know when students have medical conditions & hopeful they will tell them. He’s had many diabetic students over the years. He doesn’t treat them special or differently or any of his other students with medical needs. My feeling is that I want people to know in case I need help.

Tour de Cure would be great! Do it!

you’ll get the hang of the lows and binging. you’re making great steps! keep fighting!

TDC is a great goal - check the athletic diabetic group here and cycling group. might find some others in your neck of the woods to help you train

I’ve had a long and varied career in the low department. Oh, man! They can mess you up in a HUGE way. More than once my co-workers have noticed that I’m flushed and sweating like nothing they have ever seen before. Don’t ever hide it. Don’t be ashamed of it. You are doing your very best to duplicate your pancreas’ action. You need to carry some fast-acting carbs with you. It took me a long time to get to the point where I would and I’d have some bad experiences as a result.

Taking your insulin is never a bad thing, it is way too necessary. Delaying a meal will likely result in a low glucose situation. I happen to like the glucose tablets for correcting my lows. They aren’t so tasty that they are tempting and I can track how much carb I’m taking in. I used to have a big problem with over-treating combined with a heaping spoonful of denial. Put a big scoop of depression on top of that and you have some really terrifying lows. Did I mention my whole hypo-unaware thing?

Let your instructor know. If you’re not the type to show up to class higher than a kite, they will know if you’re low because you’re waving your arms around or looking vacant or something. That shaky, hungry, hand-me-the-taco truck feeling is a cruel joke of the universe. At one time or another we’ve all been on the wrong side of a binge. Guilt and feeling bad aren’t going to do anyone any good. Every second is another opportunity to hit reset and try to do it better. And when the urge sets in to go face down into the Hagen Daz, sometimes it’s a second-by-second battle of wills. Every time I walk away (even if it IS strawberry), I feel like I won and I like that feeling. The goal is to turn away 2 out of 3 times, and then 3 out of 4 times. The slips are less damaging. Let’s face it, sometimes the siren’s song of the strawberry lusciousness is going to win out. Don’t feel too bad about it. Hit reset and this time shoot for 5 out of 6. In this game, trying for perfection is impossible.

The emotional aspect is going to take some homework. But recognizing that the binging is rooted in a response to emotional issues is half the battle. You are going to do this and will be proud of what you can accomplish.