My blood reading before breakfast was 6.8 yesterday I had 6 small chocolate biscuits during the day why just because they were there, sitting on the table are apples pears and oranges did I reach for one of those of course not, the little devil in me lead me to the tin of chocolate biscuits never a guilty feeling passed by my mind.
As you know when you indulge yourself there is a price to pay my tummy rumbled and I had a slight headache I would go further and say I was beginning to get down in the dumps once again this week, no i am not saying the chocolate biscuits made me feel depressed a lot of things are going on in your mind and body but each factor helps towards the depressive state slowly but surely in my case ther is only one conclussion.
Self inflicted maybe but I certainly cannot help myself when this state sets in I can feel it creeping over me but my resistance is less than nothing, a bad reading on my blood glucose meter a word out of place by my wife a motorist cutting our car up it does not take much and my sulky mood comes on I am not a good advert for the human race at times like this.
I suppose being on my own all day during the week not hearing from many in he family helps create a world where doubt lack of self worthness slowly creeps out of your mind, lots of folks have told me to keep busy easier said than done my mind wonders from one place or one thing to another, never been one to have a hobbly that lasts more than 5 minutes.
I have spoken to the doctor many times about it but he is reluctant to give me more medication so I have to plod on day after day mostly in a world of my own, not even walter mitty can match me in my half crazy half down in the dump moods.
I blame the chocolate biscuit for my high blood sugar readings but I blame the midwife for smacking hte wrong end when I was born, JOKE, not even a good one,never had friends never been one for mixing the problem lies deep in my genes it may not even be my fault lots of things are inherited why not depression, so who in my family is really to blamI hate to think those who went before me got in the state I do sometimes waht a legacy for future generations.