So mad I could spit

Last weekend, we went to visit some friends at their cabin for the day. Their toddler had a cold. Not sure exactly what he had but his nose was running and it was not clear. Now, if we would have known about this we would have canceled and gone another day. Lo and behold, our son got sick. Being Diabetic he takes a real beating when he gets a virus. My husband did mention something to them but they brushed it off as it being some other virus. I don’t think so.

This couple knows very well that our son is prone to colds especially since SHE is a nurse. Of all people, she should know that our son shouldn’t have been around their sick child. I know sometimes a person can’t prevent viruses from being passed but this time they knew their child was sick and still allowed us to come out. What really bugs me is that they are not afraid to say anything when it comes to their children. For example, when their kids were babies they made us wash our hands 50 times among all the other crazy anal things they say or do.

Christopher got so sick and I ended up taking him to the doctor. Every time he gets sick I wonder if this time he will end up in the hospital due to severe keytones.

To say the least, the next time we get together with this couple I will be making sure that their kids are not sick with anything. I’m also going to tactfully make it clear that colds or the flu are very rough on our son.

Has this ever happened to you?

Hello Chris’s mom:

I really understand what you are saying. I used to interview teachers and candidates would come in with snot going everywhere and sure enough two days later I would be in the doctors office. Oh I hated it. I would get so darn sick and be down for days until I get bakc on my feet. Worst of all was the sore throat. Man I had sore throats. Yuckers!!!

Well, I finally had to come that is was just something I had to live with. Your son will no doubt have pretty much the same experience. I know when my sons were little and they would get sick I felt so helpless, and i oculd see it hurt so bad. As much as I knew it woudl just devastate me, I still had to kiss them and wish them good night.

Well the bottom line I think is that it is ok to be upset. But, you can also chalk it up to being one more virus overcome. The world is full of them and sometimes when I get one I think of it as crossing that one off my list. If I figure that in my life I will get 100,000 viruses I figure I have now overcome about 60,000 of them. If your son will have 100,000 of them, figure he is just getting a good start on getitng over his.

rick phillips

PS: I hope he is better, I also hope his keytones are doing well, little guys seem so helpless to us and I always wanted to pick mine up and make the bad feelings go away.

Chris’s Mom,

My daughters of course do not have D but have other issues to deal with. My first was sick with the “flu” about once a week for a year and a half while in daycare. It was miserable I remember hating that people would bring their children to day care ill. My other daughter made it through the first three years of her life rarely being sick with the “flu” or other illness. Now what makes this interesting is what Rick said. My eldest hasn’t been sick but 3 or four times since turning three, she is now 13. My youngest is sick an average of 8 days per school year she is now 10. Her doctors know her well, we have made many trips to see them over the years. What I am saying is, although it is rude of your friend not to have called you and have given you the choice to come or not, the more illnesses he is exposed to now the better. The longer you live with D the weaker your imune system. That doesn’t make it any easier now, but hopefully down the road his life will be easier.

I hope his recovery went well. It is hard to see our babies sick.

Thank you Rick.

Thank you Mark. It is hard to see our babies sick.

Hey there, what these people did is entirely unacceptable and she really should know better considering she is a nurse! I had a similar experience just this week involving swine flu…my housemate contracted swine flu from her boyfriend, and although we have a seven day containment policy here, instead of staying home like they were supposed to, the two of them came to the student house we share. When I told her that I really can’t risk getting swine flu (ok I get it…everyone is probably going to get it eventually but there’s no need to just skip around TRYING to catch it!), she got mad with me…to the extent that she is now moving out.

It’s not that I think my health as a diabetic is the be all and end all…but I just found it hurtful that my best friend didn’t understand, considering a number of the people who have died from this strain of flu have been diabetic…

I hope your little boy is better - diabetes combined with any other illness isn’t the easies thing in the world to deal with so I hope he has recovered and is doing well.

If your housemate is that inconsiderate, then you are better off without her.

My little boy is feeling better (what a relief). Thanks!

My thoughts exactly, it’s just a pity to lose a friend in the process but that’s life I guess…

Glad to hear he’s doing well, that’s great news! :slight_smile:

I think it was inconsiderate for your friends not to tell you their child was sick, assuming they had time to tell you. When my kids were little we always warned guests if our children had come down with something. We also warned them if we were the guests and asked if we should stay home. Sometimes they told us to come anyway, sometimes they asked us to stay home - no offense given and none taken.

I think it’s just a matter of courtesy whether your child has diabetes or not. Ours don’t. Sometimes, though, health professionals, even nurses, think they know best - better even than parents. I think a frank discussion is in order if only to say that you would like the option to decide whether to expose your child. It’s called informed consent.


Thanks Terry.

Lesson learned. Next time you visit, the moment you notice their child is sick, I would make my apologies, turn around and go home. I have a beef with all those working parents who send their children to school practically at death’s door. Invariably, my neice is the one that will get really sick for days. Unfortunately, because you have no control over the school environment, this will continue to happen. But I would have no qualms about removing myself from the situation if you notice your friend’s child is sick. It may seem rude, but they know your feelings on the subject, you have made it clear to them your son is immuno-comprimised and gets very sick, and they are being very inconsiderate.

I am so glad your son is better. Your friends should be ashamed to put your son at such risk! But I have to tell you this little tidbit of information. I worked in a hospital for about 18 years and I swear health care workers are the worst. And hospital administrators and managers are even worse. I was a Respiratory Therapist and of course all of my patients had respiratroy or heart problems from pneumonia to chronic conditions such emphysema and chronic bronchitis,etc. And of course I also worked in the ER and in trauma. Even if we were all but dying we were expected to be at work. Not only was there no concern for us there was no concern for our patients who were at such high risk. From now on I would ask if anyone was sick. If so, don’t go. If they are offended, tough!

That’s the problem, a person is forced to work while sick. Come to work sick and people are upset that you are spreading your germs OR do the right thing and stay at home. Doing the latter seems to receive a lot of grief.

All I know is that BEFORE we get together with anyone (especially this couple) we will be asking if their little ones currently have anything or has had anything in the past week. If they lie, we will be going home immediately.

I know from experience from operating a day home for 5 years that parents will drug up their children before they drop them off just so they can pass them off as being fine. That is a common complaint amongst child care workers.

It’s one thing if a child has no underlying problems such as Diabetes but to knowingly allow us to come out with our son was extremely stupid. I am going to be upfront with them and explain (to the nurse) how dangerous it can be for a Diabetic to come in contact with someone who is sick.

Lesson learned is right.

Wow Sareln - I can’t believe that. I thought I had it bad when I worked in Daycare in the public school system - that we were expected to go into work when we were ill. People would be feeling like they were knocking at deaths door - and at work - along with kids being sent to school that shouldn’t have been there - it was not a pleasant situation. One coworker was told off for wearing a mask one time as she was susceptible to chronic bronchitis - even with a smilie face drawn on it. Because we were understaffed that was one of the reasons we had to come into work (plus many of us didn’t get paid if we weren’t at work). I quit after 12 years - I miss the kids so much - but not the environment.

BTW, I think Chris’s Mum’s friend was very inconsiderate - and should have let her know of her toddler’s health - so she could have made her own decision as to whether it was safe for her and her son to go to the friends cabin.

No. But, if he was sick…perhaps you should have picked up and left. Are these the type of friends you need?

In hindsight we should have. This is really my husband’s buddy and he would have said no to leaving as he would have been worried about offending them. But now since both my husband and my son got very sick he won’t hesitate to make sure ahead of time that no one is sick. If someone turns out to be sick, I can guarantee you that he won’t hesitate to go home.

“Are these the type of friends you need?”

If I had it my way, we’d never see them again. They have pulled some very inconsiderate crap many times (their wedding took the cake) (sorry pun) but my husband can’t seem to let go.

He thinks they are kind and giving. The truth is that they are very self-centered and ultra-cheapskates.

But regardless of who it is, we will be asking ahead of time if anyone has a cold or anything especially people who have little ones. The little ones are little germ factories.