Hi,
I got high blood pressure in 1996, tried all kinds of BP meds and it still is high, then 2005 had a stroke and had to learn some things all over (still forget words) and now 2014 diabetes. Another new doctor, so maybe this one can help before the 'big one' (heart attack).
I sure am happy to see that there is so many with great info on here.
Thanks! Laura
yes and he thinks I am even more ridiculous for getting a medic bracelet. He is seeming to care a bit more but still doesn’t get it. My Father in Law isn’t much different. He lives with us. He says he was told he was borderline. He said his BG was around 5.5? Seriously borderline??? Anyways I’m so glad I have found a place to talk to people about this.
he has no clue what meds I’m on or how many times a day I check my BG. He just complains when I ask him to stop by the pharmacy to pick up a new prescriptions. I just keep praying it changes.
it’s almost like they are in denial.
I think you hit the nail on the head: "denial" is exactly what it sounds like. Usually when you hear that term used, it's applied to the PWD themselves. But if you stop and think about it, it makes just as much sense for those close to the person to react that way too -- human beings have a tendency to believe what they want to believe and disregard the rest. It really does sound as though that's what you're confronting.
what we can do it is to explain what is diabetes, why, what happens in our body, but we cannot make anybody be more understanding or caring. During almost 15 years my family was completely distant and never asked about how I feel. I thought: nobody likes to listen about illness" ; today they are older or sick and they ask about my experience to prepare a diet, because they need that. I can perfectly take care of myself and I am not a child, I don't need them to go with me to see a doctor. They don't care or are afraid , whatever, maybe it is more complex .can I change them ? No.
I am still on one aspirin a day - 325 mg. I was on three heart pills - accupril, metoprolol ER and a third one. I had to take pills spread around the clock as these pills only last 4- 7 hours worst case.
Today my heart pressure is on target.
It is important to do to save ones kidneys. At time of my stroke, blood pressure was 210. Prior to that bp was 160 to 190 typically. Getting Diabetes under control and losing weight can also be helpful in getting
blood pressure down.
If you have excess body water, lasics - furosimide - dirutics can also help with blood pressure.
Best wishes and good luck.
It helps me to think of why they think like this. Diabetes is something no one wants to get, but is horrifically common. If they can blow it off, it's not as frightening of a specter for them personally -- especially if they have a family history or for some other reason know themselves to be at risk. If they were to accept the seriousness of your T2, they would have to accept the seriousness of them potentially getting T2. That would require them to face their own life and proactively try to manage their health, which is not something people want to do. We don't want to face our own mortality.
Additionally, for a spouse or someone else very close to a diabetic, it's a change for them, too. Just because you're ready (or forcibly ready!) to make that change, doesn't mean they are ready. They may be closing their eyes and saying "lalalalala" because they don't want to change. That would admit that you are sick. And, they love you, so that would make them sad. That would make them admit that one day you could die and they would be left alone without you. Better to forget the whole thing and pretend everything is peachy.
Well Said!!
My husband didn't take it very seriously in the first place either. Then his mother told us she was diabetic, it was a little (and I mean a little) more serious. When I was just learning and thought all carbs were out, I'd sneak some in, and he thought they should be okay,. It wasn't until I got VERY serious about it, studying everything I could, eating right, exercising etc that he saw it was serious. I took him to one of my doc's appts and asked her to tell him about my diabetes....more serious. And HOLY COW when his doc told him he was pre-diabetic, it got real serious, I think we have to show them what we want them to know and respect.,...and then let them handle it, My husband told me that he couldn't think of the ramifications of diabetes when I told him, it was too much for him to handle. So I showed him how serious it was to me, and he started coming around
First class Sdkate! Congratulations and best wishes.
As in scuba diving - there are no shortcuts and take one you hurt yourself.
On planet earth surface driving a car ; break a rule and if no policeman waiting to catch one; one sneaks by thinking no issue. Diving - no such chance or good luck!
Best wishes and good health Sdkate!
Know exactly how you feel. I have a husband who buys me chocolate and a daughter-in-law who cooks delicious meals loaded with carbs. They seem to think type 2 is no big deal.
They know nothing about Diabetes complications and aren’t interested in learning about them. I know they love me. They would just rather not think about it. My only support is a Diabetic support group that meets once a month. Join one of those if you can. It helps a lot to share your problems with people who understand them. Take care.
Tell your husband the meter, strips and lancets are nothing compared to the cost of treating Diabetes complications that you would surely develop if you don’t monitor your blood sugar. The diet is more expensive but it also saves you money by keeping you healthier. I hate buying strips. They are so overpriced. However just one of my Diabetes complications, a heart problem, cost over $80,000.00. My insurance agent wept. Our share of the bill was no joy either.
Hang in there. I understand the retired togetherness thing as well. I am in the same boat. Get out on your own as often as you can. Just going out for a daily walk helps. Take care.
Hey, I got used to Type 1 being minimized by family a long time ago.
My mom would ask me why I was buying so many insulin syringes; once she told me
if I was too good for whatever sugar sweetened cereal she had out I didn't need to visit any more.
My ex (notice the ex part) wife used to tell me that I was making a big fuss, since diabetes wasn't any bigger deal than fibromylagia, or whatever illness she imagined she was having at the time. So suck it up.
You can always get divorced, but you can't switch parents. I thought I my mother and I had a bumpy relationship, but it was nothing compared to what you describe. I can't imagine her ever saying something that clueless to me. I understand that you've long since learned to cope with the insensitivity; the tragedy is that you needed to. Sympathies.
Because of the progress of my disease, my family minimized both T2 and T1, Lol (not!). Was first Dx’d as T2, but I could not control my sugars with diet and exercise and BMI was Normal. Fam historyof onset of T1 in 50’s. I was 58. And sensitive to spikes in BG so had to eliminate almost all carbs. Onglyza helped a little. My Endo said I was a T2 but insulin Deficient not insulin resistant. Hubby made fun of how often I checked BG. Cooked me “healthy high fiber casseroles with barley” - mad when I ate 2 TBLs. Eventually my Dr put me on insulin, then pump due to sensitivity to insulin - hypos. I think hubby thought I passed out on purpose. We are divorcing. Am better off caring for myself. Have Medicalert, including decal on driver’s door. I empathize - hang in there. My guess is there will be more media on this - will get easier w/time.
Every time I go to the grocery store with my husband, I get in such a bad mood. He buys chocolates, brownie and cake mixes, chips and just about everything he knows I can't eat. I've told him a gazillion times, that I have to stay away from carbs, sugar and salt. He says I exaggerate. I just told him I am no longer cooking or baking. I moved into our downstairs guest room. It's only been 3 days, but, so far I am liking my freedom...and I lost another pound.
When I was first diagnosed my little sister, who was 7 at the time, was very jealous. She saw me come home from the hospital with new stuffed animals and fake syringes and saline to play with. She was already jealous of my little brother, the baby of the family, because he was getting more attention than her. And then suddenly I was getting a lot of attention too. I could eat food when it wasn't a meal time, and she couldn't. She used to say that she wanted Diabetes all the time. She asked once if I could give it to her, would I, and I said no. She thought that was because it was fun. I was nine, and didn't know how to articulate what I was thinking in a way that would make her understand, so I didn't say much.
She outgrew actually wanting to have Diabetes after a few months, but she started saying really stupid things. When I was 12 two of the neighbors' granddaughters came over to play with us and she told them, "Mom really overreacts about the whole Diabetes thing." I didn't say anything then either, because I didn't want to embarrass her in front of the other girls, but I was mad. "The whole Diabetes thing."
She's done several other things like that. She gets mad at me and calls me lazy when everyone but me is outside doing yardwork, and I'm inside drinking sugared tea because I'm low. She has even accused me of going low on purpose. It really doesn't help when I'm already feeling sick because I'm low, and guilty because I'm not helping.
One of my older brothers is my best friend, but even he has said some hurtful things about it. Once when I was low and I was acting stupid, one of my older sisters and him said something about how I'm faking it. I'm only pretending to be that stupid because I think it's funny. I was already emotionally unstable because lows do that to me, so that really hurt. They were just standing there, talking to each other as if I wasn't there and laughing at me. I tried to defend myself, but I can barely speak when I'm low so it didn't work.
I've also struggled with getting him to ride our bikes with me. I'm not allowed to do anything like that alone, in case I go low. I'm pretty sure he has saved my life a couple times while we're on walks or bike rides, so I wouldn't go without him even if I was allowed to. But recently he hasn't wanted to, because he doesn't feel like it. We didn't go at all last year. It seems like a little thing to him, but it stresses me out a lot. Less exercise means more insulin which means more money from my parents, which I hate. I'm also an artist, and the thought of losing my eyesight scares me a lot, so I don't want to be high all the time. But he doesn't get it.
Recently, my five year old niece was here for a visit and she saw me eating Smarties. She asked for some, and I said she couldn't have any because I needed them for medicine. She said "No fair! You get candy as medicine." I told her, "Yes, but I also get shots as medicine." That worked pretty well and she never said it wasn't fair again. I wish I had thought of saying that to my sister six years ago...
Dear Nancy,
I'm saddened to hear that your husband is not as supportive as you'd like him to be. I'm guessing this might be some sort of denial on his part, and even a lack of being able to handle the situation. So, who cares what he thinks, Nancy. You are doing the right things and the most responsible things for yourself and for those children you work with. Hopefully he will come on board eventually when he realizes how comfortable and confident you are in doing what you're doing. Bravo, Nancy!
Hope you work it out. there are so many more healthy alternatives than there were 30 years ago. Green Jello gets pretty tiring...