Four miles. That’s about how far I got on my 4.5-mile grocery hike before my calf seized on me and I literally needed a lift home. Also, about the distance from home to the doctor’s office, where I ended up after a half hour of alternately limping around and whimpering with every fourth step.
Not an auspicious way to shake off the paralysis of a cold winter. Not an auspicious way to end a nice, long walk on a beautiful spring day.
Relief, if the PA is correct, is not likely to come until after The Other Half gets home from work with the script for a muscle relaxant. I’m less confident in pharmaceuticals, more confident in the advice to rest and elevate. And pondering her questioning my electrolyte levels (whole grains, high potassium fruits and veggies, beans… enough nuts that I shouldn’t be worrying about magnesium… chromium for bg control… I should not be having electrolyte issues…)
Not the happiest advice in the weeks before Passover, when one needs to clean, pack, unpack, inventory, and purchase.
Especially when it means putting up with The Other Half’s complaining about his back spasming every time I need him to do the kitchen dishes.
Should I mention, I had to have him do dishes almost the entire weekend? He was on Sink Patrol because the (expletive deleted) veggie holder on the (expletive deleted) mandoline did not want to hold the (expletive deleted) cabbage in place when I tried to use it to shred said cabbage for The Other Half’s cole slaw. (Deli coleslaw: $3.99/lb. Dole bagged coleslaw: $.99/lb and stale. Fresh cabbage: $.29/lb. You do the math ) BTW, I don’t like coleslaw. In short, said (expletive deleted) mandoline nearly severed an oval patch of skin from my thumb, deeply enough to color several paper towels a spectacular shade of red. Even after the bleeding was staunched and the wound dressed, the slightest pressure would cause the wound to sting. Scrub a pot? Out of the question for about the first 48 hours.
So here I am, sitting with my leg up on the bed, popping a handful of supplement pills just in case the banana, apricots, prunes, orange, beans, nuts, and cheese did not provide enough potassium, magnesium, iron, and calcium. Wincing each time I need to straighten, or bend, my leg, and using an old crutch to hobble to and from the bathroom. And hoping that this all will resolve overnight, before the muscle relaxants arrive.
Spring has sprung, and I’m glad for the warmer weather. I just wish it hadn’t sprung up and hit me with a razor-blade-studded baseball bat.