I think you've hit the nail on the head, Kari, when you say it's the lack of urgency and necessity that allows (some) type 2's to just coast along. I understand both sides, because I was misdiagnosed as type 2 for 15 months. I took my meds, measured twice a day as the doctor said, and my numbers were good so I didn't change anything else, continuing to eat a high carb diet (vegetarian - based a lot on pasta and rice) and not knowing how those foods spiked me in between tests.
I had another type 2 friend who seemed to pay pretty good attention to his own care; he was on a basal/bolus regimen and tested before each meal, though he didn't count carbs but used a sliding scale. One day I asked about his numbers and he said he was usually under 120. I was really surprised because he ate a lot of carbs and didn't bolus accordingly. Then I stayed at their house for a couple days and noticed he would test only before each meal, never after. He and his wife would often check in about his readings and comment happily before dinner about how well he had done since lunch. Nobody had explained to him that he could have spiked high after lunch and been there for a couple hours before coming back down before dinner. His "usually under 120" made more sense.
That's great you have that fitness program and the three of use are comparing numbers. Maybe you will inspire her to do better!