I miss the diabetic "dark ages" as some would call it... Care consisted of a single shot, some exercise, food exchanges and urine testing. I say freely, I openly miss those days in many many ways
Mentally, purely from the mental-emotional aspects.... do you believe that our current method of testing is HEALTHY for us psychologicly-emotionally?
I test, and do not get the desired number. I test and its very high. I test and its not low, (but might go low at any minute). Its too high, the insulin did not work as it should have. Too high I used the formula and it did not work.... there are dozens of ways to twist the words. But the almost literal obsession we now possess for getting numbers from second to second is supposedly necessary, and a good thing?
Enough tests, enough numbers and I want to believe some become dispassionate, immune to the strong emotions, the frustrations, annoyances the numbers always provide. I guess do not accept the tests we do are good for us on an emotional level. The pretense of control, the endless violent struggle to acquire some sense of ongoing perfect/ideallic control. That insane persuit does many of us serious harm... leading to severe dispair.
I do not know if I am being clear enough. But I want to ask, does that generic perspective, that poor expression of a half-baked idea is that perspective understandable to other diabetics??? Does testing improve your "mental" space moment to moment or does it longer-term only lead us (eventually) into an emotional quicksand?
I have tried it all can’t seem to get it right. Tried for the CGM can’t get it. Wish I never got diabetes. Just want my life back.
Type 1 for 43 years and yes the dark ages was soooo much better emotionally. Testing bloodsugar levels was not an option, eventually I switched to two shots a day and still life with D was so much easier.
I have been on MDI and pumping for the last 8 years and the mental toll and the 24/7 of this disease is unreal to me and I think back to the one shot a day and never really gave D much thought.
Now if my bgs is not near normal I feel positively awful and if I move or go for a walk on a normal bloodsugar my numbers drop like a ton of bricks.
I use to ride my bike 10-20 miles in a weekend and golf 18 holes, walking and never really gave my bgs a thought, now I am afraid to move.
Hope I am making sense
I am… glad to know I am… not alone believing this… -whispered- (barely audible).
Omg, I am so glad I am not the only one who feels like this. I just found out I am diabetic (T2) a week ago and honestly I am mad, I am sad, I feel betrayed or something. Compared to a lot of people in the world my diet is great (vegan) so what did I do to deserve this. Although I am new and haven’t had the experiences you guys have had - yet. And that is what is getting me. This isn’t just something I can pop a pill for a few days and it will clear up - this is forever, the rest of my life. I am having a hard to listening to some of the people on some of forums say “It is not so bad once you get used to it” - well I am not sure if I will get used to. All that pricking of the fingers, watching everything I eat (and my diet is restricted enough), worrying about the blood sugars going so high or too low - I am not sure if I can do this. It almost seems OCD to me.
How i feel right now is that I have lost the “old me” and I will never get her back. Now I am the diseased me. Ths is all I can think about. Why do people think it is not so hard? I know that lots of people have medical problems they deal with but honestly I never have until now - at least nothing major that couldn’t be fixed. Honestly, this feels like a prison sentence to me - glued to that pricky thing. I didn’t know there was a time when you didn’t have the meter - those must have been nice times. Really though, why is the meter so necessary - I can tell it is going to make me freak out. Maybe it is just another way for the companies to make money - I couldn’t believe how much the strips cost - unbelieveable! (and I have no insurance or job!)
This makes sense to me. The day I found out I had this I went around my kitchen and was afraid to eat anything. I still am. This is crazy. There has to be a better way. I also can’t be about the testing stuff too - Why is it so expensive and to me it seems antiquated - in these modern high tech times they can’t come with something better. They can give people new limbs for goodness sakes but we have to bleed all the time. come on!
I know vaguely the name, do they write about chronic disease/suffering resulting thereof I would assume?
Pema Chodrin… adding another author to the list yet to be investigated.
With “diabetic luck” we’d be too LOW to jump effectively… or too HIGH to be permitted ~jumping rights~… (trying to find the twisted diabetic humor in her jumping analogy).
The one good thing about testing for me is that there have been times prior to the existance of glucose testing meters, I thought I was crazy because my brain was racing dealing with low blood sugar, or I was sad and it was really a low that me that made me cry. Other times I have gotten overly angry - not my usual calm self that takes it in and communicates sanely- and testing revealed high blood sugar. My emotions are real too, not always tied to a blood sugar range, but being able to test has allowed me to use what I know about myself and test when I am feeling “off”.
I have tested less to run from the reality and the frustration the uneven bad yes bad numbers i see. I am frustrated by the inexact science and the feeling that the harder I try the more lows I experience. I still hate this disease but I know I am a good understanding person with a strong work ethic, and diabetes is also a part of that. Because it is a daily part of me.