After all the support, and medical attention there is something else. Being an individual with good morals and a hardworker i can’t help but ask why? Surrounded by criminals, ex cons, bad fathers and mothers somehow I was chosen to carry this cross. While many will respond ‘thats just life’ or ‘maybe there’s a good reason’, I can’t seem to find this place of mystical destiny and greater good.
Instead, I feel angry, confused, sad, and in some cases in disbelief. If doing the right thing bears fruits of goodness, than how do I explain this crisis? Why am I confronted with a situation so overwhelming and confusing moment…
I asked myself those questions many times. After contemplating the subject quite a bit I came to two realizations; 1) we are defined by how we respond to the adversity we encounter in life not by what we encounter. And 2) Although I certainly wouldn’t have chosen this, a lot worse things have happened to a lot better people than myself.
Somewhat cheesy but reminding myself of those things still helps me.
I know it seems like everything is crashing around you. Especially when you are used to a certain lifestyle and how you go about your day to day activities and then quite quickly you are having to alter that lifestyle and your routine. I didn't really go through the angry stage. I dunno if its because I'm a positive person, nursing background and medical knowledge, or my thinking it was kind of gonna happen eventually because of diabetes being prevalent in my family/ a combo of all those things.
It's not the most fun to have a certain routine and then one day it all changes and you must change the way you life your life. But at the end of the day Diabetes doesn't define who you are, the type of person you are or who you want to become. Obviously diabetes is there and it needs to be constantly monitored and controlled and such but at the end of the day you are you no matter what condition, disease, etc you have.
Diabetes has changed my lifestyle but doesn't change who I am as a person or my attitude towards life. There are many people in this world who live much worse than I do and I'm thankful each and everyday for the amount of support I have from this site as well as the resources I have around me that so many people do not have.
It's frustrating at first but I PROMISE it gets easier! Also don't worry about friends and family and such. They WILL understand and not look at you as being The Diabetic but as their friend who you've always been.
We all know exactly what you are going through. It’s the most overwhelming thing imaginable. I just want to assure you that it doesn’t stay that way forever. I’m less than 1.5 years into this, and have been insulin dependent since diagnosis… It is a very small part of my life now. It’s under control, my routines and way of doing things adapted just fine, yours will too if just takes some time to figure I all out. Everything will become routine and life will go on pretty much the same as before you just will likely have to take meds and plan what and how you eat a lot more carefully. I know how you feel right now, trust me it gets better.
There is just no good reason any one of us ended up coming down with diabetes. It's simply a genetic and environmental crap-shoot. Living life is hazardous. Anger, confusion, and sadness are all appropriate reactions to receiving the diagnosis of diabetes. People are as loyal to their way of eating as they are to their close friends or family. Diabetes turns your life upside down. It's tough, no two ways about.
Now you face a choice. Will you step up, learn what you can, and try to cope as best as you can or will you deny the reality of your new health status and just carry on with your old habits and live and eat as you always did? Denial is another way to cope and some people can go on denyng their new reality for years. In the meantime their life's energy and dreams dissolve into a painful lump of diabetes complications.
Perhaps a better way to deal with this is to accept what's real and learn how to deal with it and still pursue your goals and dreams. Diabetes is hard but in its difficulty lies a chance for you to overcome it. No one takes satisfaction in defeating an easy opponent. But coming out on top, defeating diabetes, can give you a real sense of victory and accomplishment. The size of the challenge determines the size of the prize. Diabetes is a big challenge but defeating it will forever change your view of yourself -- the person whose opinion matters most.
Diabetes requires smarts, tenacity, persistence, and discipline, Funny, it's all the things that success in any human pursuit requires. You didn't choose diabetes and that sucks. We don't call all the shots in this game of life. Life sometimes chooses the picture, but we choose the frame.
Good luck to you. Your subject title says it all. Keep your eyes on "the big picture!"
It took me a good eight months or so to rediscover the part of me that felt lost after diagnosis. I likened it to a TV show I watched called Fringe. In that show there were two universes. An exact physical version of yourself lived in each. However, that was the only way they were the same. In all other ways they were completely different people. For so long I felt like everyone thought I was the same person (in my universe) I always was while inside I felt like a completely different version of myself (from the other universe). I looked the same on the outside but was totally different on the inside. It made made me feel so isolated and alone and like no one could ever know how I truly felt...even my family. As you will see, diabetes is like a silent disease where it lives inside you 24/7 but no one can "see" it but you.
Fast forward 4.5 years later and diabetes has become just another part of my life. I can't stress how important educating yourself about the disease, participating in forums like this for support and gaining some sense of control in your daily self management is. I will not lie and say that some days I still do feel sorry for myself and say why me. But for the most part, I have found a pretty comfortable way to live with it. I would even go so far as to say it has improved certain areas in my life. I seem to be able to manage and cope with my problems much easier as I have gained a better perspective. So oddly enough I have found some silver linings.
I wish you the best. Please keep posting questions and feelings,...places like this are a true lifesaver.
Well so far it's unanimous, our diagnosis hit us all like a ton of bricks, you're overwhelmed now, like we all were. All you can do is take things one as a time, things will gradually get better. I think we're unanimous on that also.
There's a lot to learn but there's plenty of folks around here who deal with their D and get on with their lives, it's a completely doable project. Glad you found us there's a lot of wisdom and experience here, it's a great place to get answers to all the questions you will have. Good Luck!
I read an article that said the Native Americans diagnosed "diabetes" (obviously they didn't call it this.) If someone was really bad sick, they would see if ants were attracted to their urine. If so, it was a death sentence within months. Anytime I get down, I just think of the millions of people that died away to this "unknown disease" before the 20th century. I feel very thankful that we live in an era where medicine and technology have combined to allow us chosen ones the ability to live as close to a normal life as possible. Not sure how you can find that article, and not suggesting you go read it if you are really feeling depressed, but that really changed my view toward my D.
Diabetes can be tough and everyone goes through some tough days. I like to consider how good I have it. If you were diagnosed 100 years ago, then there was NO insulin. Your best treatment was likely a starvation diet. Many of our members come from a time of before glucometers and 1 daily injection. 24 years ago I was prescribed R and NPH that do not work that well. I remember a nurse telling me that they didn't like to tell patients to test 1-2 hours after a meal because the high number might make them sad.
I also think of my great uncle Latta that was diagnosed in the 30s or 40s. How tough was his life with T1D? I can barely imagine his treatment and outlooks. Point being my pump and CGM may not be perfect, but treatments options today allow me to have a family and be around to see grandchildren. That means a lot to me.
Not surprised at all you are into Nietzsche, my grand friend ,Acid. Everyone on TuD knows my thoughts about the nature and the perception of good and evil. I feel good about myself as a Christian and as a diabetic, and I am not at all judgemental. However, my faith sustains me and I have seen it sustain others.There are no "forever bad" scenarios , on this earth, I will allow. It is all in one's perception.
At any rate, I hope you are having a grand day at work and in other settings today, Chuck. Take care and God bless,All.
Brunetta
I can only answer this as a mother. My T1 daughter was diagnosed 4 years ago at 4 and is now eight. When she was in the PIC unit I went outside while my husband was with her and called my brother. I cried and screamed for about twenty min. Then I went walking back inside and the nurse mentioned to me that they had a room for the families of the children to shower in etc. She said that it might be in use for someone who would be in mourning. That woke me up. YES it sucks. But like I tell my daughter if you take your insulin, check your sugars and eat right(by the way she was diagnosed in year two with celiac) you will be fine. She is very open about her diagnosis and some children are embarassed she gives a little inservice to her classand tells them all about diabetes. I try to look at my blessings and I don't think that I ever would have realized what a brave, smart and resiliant child she was without this and maybe this is what I was supposed to see. I don't know but I do know everyone who has this diease is a superhero in my eyes and this comes from a mother who has her very own superhero at home.
At least as I learned him, Fred would suggest that whether you are characterzing yourself as "good" or "evil", you are exercising your "will to power" and *using* good the same way an evil butcher would, to obtain power. The books are sort of weird and rambly and go all over the place but when you slog through them and a smart philosophy professor (Richard Schacht...) goes over the stuff with you, it makes a lot of sense...
