I have a secret which my family does not know. I have kept it hidden for quite a while. Please dont judge me for it. I have given in to the great taboo of smoking while diabetic. I began smoking a few years ago as I was going thru a divorce and ever since when I am in a bad place I start smoking again. I smoke about a pack a day and I have quit and restarted over and over. I only stay quit for as long as I am not stressed then back I go. I know it is terrible for diabetics to smoke and it contributed to 2 mini strokes so far. Yet I cant help lighting up. Please any advice is welcome
Cigarettes are terribly addicting. I smoked for 12 years over a 16 year period. I quit for two years twice during that time. When I quit the last time I knew I had to make it stick because I felt like I used my lifetime of willpower already. That was 30 years ago and I take pride in knowing I didi it!
I know how potent the allure is. It is such a nasty habit, however, I encourage you to do whatever it takes to shake it for good. I never used any patches or gum but I’ve heard it helps people. Don’t give up!
Thank you for answering. I have tried cold turkey and the longest I went was 2 years then my father died and it all came right back. Lately the longest has been 3 months then something happens and I am right back. I guess it is my coping mechanism and a deadly one. The first mini stroke I had I had just finished a cigarette and stood up to walk across the room and boom… I was on the floor. I feel a lot better when I am not smoking. I am more active and my breathing is better but even knowing all that I am still drawn to it in those moments of sadness.
I chewed tobacco for many years. I started when I was 12 years old. Like you I quit numerous times and it was always stress that triggered me to start again. There was no such thing as having “just one.” I was either completely off of it or doing it near constantly. I’ve been completely off it for about a year now… And plan to to stay that way. I think my recipe for success in that regard is that my one personality trait that’s stronger than my addictive tendencies are my frugal tendencies… Just had to start convincing myself I’d rather spend that money on other things, then had to set the stage to make it so that it literally didn’t feel like I could afford it. In my own case that involved setting up my finances such that they automatically transfer almost every spare penny out of my checking account into investment accounts before I have a chance to spend it on that… So that I know that at the end of the month I’m going to be digging pennies out of the couch cushion to pay my bills… And not able to afford to waste money on that…
Anyway that’s how my mind works
My experience with cigarettes is almost exactly the same as @Terry4. I quit 29 years ago after a couple of tries. Like Terry I finally quit for good by going cold turkey.
Nicotine is a powerfully addictive substance that took all my will power to quit. Even after 29 years the desire is, on rare occasion, still there. I told myself the last time I quit that I would never touch another. After a couple of failed attempts I learned that the just one cigarette that I believed would not hurt turned out to be the most damaging of all.
I do not ever judge smokers harshly, I still remember vividly the pain of addiction. I may encourage someone to quit but I will never criticize.
You made me chuckle sam cause I remembered that frugal streak making me quit too. I quit and put a jar on my dresser to put the daily cigarette cost into. I also got one of those apps that counted how much you saved and how many health benefits you got the longer you went on. That worked for the longest quit. I also used sugar free lifesavers cause I figured if I had something in my mouth I wouldn’t smoke. Then I found out that too many sugarless lifesavers gives you diarrhea then that died too lol. Cigarettes just went up by another dollar last week I think so it hurts every time I buy a pack but I think I am in such a funk I just cant help it.
I think you’ve got to add a layer of inconvenience for the financial method to work. If I put money in a jar in my house id just end up taking the jar of quarters to the store to buy tobacco… I’d try setting up automatic contributions of that amount into an index fund every month instead— then a) it’s a pain in the butt to take it out, and b) you can get a little more of a thrill (hopefully more than the cigarette) when you’re craving one and look at the account balance and it’s more than the last time you looked (sometimes, over the long run)
Last Thursday it was exactly ten years ago since I quit smoking. I have not touched one cigarette since, but I did use almost ten years before that to decide if I really wanted to quit. Those ten years I smoked only when I was stressed or it otherwise was too much. To me, quit smoking was easy, deciding on the other hand was really, really hard.
It kind of just struck me one day ten years ago when I had one of my “stress smoking binges” that I really didn’t want to treat myself this badly anymore. This realization caused a surprising amount of anxiety and then sadness over knowing I had to give up my beloved cigarettes. I figured I couldn’t quit because I felt I had enough losses in my life already, so I decided to start non-smoking instead. To me this meant starting to know myself for real, the raw version without “the filter” cigarettes was to me. I noticed that I had used cigarettes to calm my feelings no matter if those feelings was good or bad. I kind of always numbed myself no matter what the situation was.
I got excited about this new project; “getting to know myself without cigarettes”. There was a lot of “first times” ahead including having an alcoholic beverage without a cigarette, that had never happened before in my life! Along with this I kind of anchored the notion of “I’m so happy and relieved I don’t have to smoke.”, and I really meant it. It didn’t last long before I got all whiney and thought “why can’t I smoke when other people are allowed to smoke all the time? It’s unfair!” Then I knew it was something I had forgot until I remembered the sentence about me beeing so happy I didn’t have to smoke. I always immediately felt free and kind of happy and relieved.
Off course I was all over the place emotionally in the beginning, but this was me, the real me without the numbing and I was happy to meet her. I don’t know if this whole “don’t quit begin something knew instead” means something to you, but I think you have to dig deep into your raw emotions to really be able to quit because smoking is so satisfying in so many ways to so many of us.
this is a really good idea!
I have found stream of consciousness writing a help in times of stress. It sounds odd but I write down my thoughts and feelings as they occur for 10 or so minutes every day. I blush to read this stuff later on, but it does help.
Like many others I quit smoking only after many efforts. Eventually having kids and keeping it secret was put me over the topic and I finally stopped. To me there were a couple of key things that had to come together. I had to get over the physical addiction, which turned out to be easy with the patches. Second I to have the motivation. And finally, what I didn’t realize that I had to remove cigarettes from all of my daily routines and rituals. No cigarettes with coffee, after meals, with a drink, etc. Now years later, I sometimes crave a cigarette, but mostly don’t miss it and even can’t stand being in a room with smokers.
Consider taking up one of the meditation practices. Not to stop smoking per se, but to enable your mind to realise you have the ability to be what you want to be.
Stupid question, perhaps, but . . . are there support groups for smoking, as there are for other types of addiction? Peer connections sometimes help “strengthen” the will. Combining something like that with the many other excellent suggestions here might help achieve the necessary critical mass.
Having never been a smoker (thank G-d), I say the following with all due respect to those addicted to nicotine (which is the single most addictive substance of abuse, even more addicting than heroin, but does not carry the significant risk of mortality associated with abrupt discontinuation that alcohol dependence does).
If it at all helps in your efforts to quit, think of the negative impact your tobacco use has on your beloved family. My adoptive mother (the only mother by whom I was raised) began smoking at age 16. My younger sister and I, being exposed to the anti-smoking campaigns of the 60’s (?) and 70’s, begged her to stop smoking on an almost-daily basis. Our lives were colored by the constant and devastating fear that we would lose our mother. But she did not stop smoking. She not surprisingly developed lung cancer and died a very slow, lingering, and painful death at the age of 62. I stood by my grandmother’s side at my mother’s casket and listened to these words that were forever seared into my memory: “This is so wrong. Mothers are not supposed to bury their children.” My dear father never truly recovered from her death, even after he happily remarried. To this day, my grief over her needless death is complicated by my anger.
No one else should have to suffer this preventable fate.
You hit on some key things like I dont think I know me or care about myself that much at the moment to stop. In a way its almost like punishing myself. I have had a lot of loss which is where it began with my divorce. I lost my mom and brother a year apart in august so I hate august. As if that wasnt enough my dad died last year as well. I lost my job and this week my baby of 3 kids is going away to college. I got married very young and went from my mothers house to my husbands and now the house is empty. Im not sure what my identity is anymore and I dont think I ever really truly grieved.I am on a binge smoking runaway train at the moment heading to abyss. Cigarettes are probably the closest comforting friend at the moment yet it is not helping my health at all.
I have looked and only found one and it required that you have already quit for a certain amount of time. If anyone knows of any please let me know
I actually looked into it but have not really started. I think meditation sounds very soothing and could be something I can really get into but its always the starting new things that is rough. It appears that people who meditate have had good results so I will look into that further.
Your right that just one is usually the gateway to falling off the wagon. Each time I said I can have an occassional cigarette. Then it was once in a while cant be bad then next thing you know Im right back smoking.
You certainly seem like you need some comfort and respite from several significant life shocks. I don’t have any real answers for you but here’s what my better self would tell me if I were injured that way. Seek the help of someone who will truly listen to you, even if that means a paid counselor. Talk therapy can work and has few, if any, side effects. Try to pay attention to basic health needs, like getting enough sleep, water, and sustaining nutrition. Try to exercise every day, even a 20-minute walk. If you concentrate on the fundamentals you may be able to create some space in the future to permit you to focus on dropping the cigarette habit. Maybe now is not the time to try and take cigarettes head on.
I wish you luck. Seek out an ally or two. Perhaps if you are a church goer, now is the time inquire for some help there. Good luck. Feel free to continue to post here.
First off omg I wish it was just quarters.Cigarettes went up another dollar for taxes. Even before that I was putting bills in the jar. Each day I would come home and put in what I would spend on cigarettes and I couldnt muster up enough money on some days lol. After reading your post I had to look up index funds lol. I think that may be a good alternative to the jar. Any suggestions on how to find a fund?