I hear you. I’m a born again diabetic. I wasn’t the WORST controlled patient in the world, but I have done some things that make me shiver when I think of them now. For the last couple of years I’ve been pretty aggressive and started working on the acceptance. I was losing the battle of wills with Diabetes. I was being led around by my nose by my lows. I read “Using Insulin” and that got me to carb counting. I taught myself carb counting and started calculating my doses. Now I’m on the Dexcom and the OmniPod. I feel a whole lot better, my control is pretty damn good and I was somewhat less depressed.
Once i stopped fighting and got out of denial, I was much better at this. This is a part of you and it is a demanding boss. But with a little practice, you can come to an understanding. When you grab the bull by the horns it does help when you feel you are in the driver’s seat.
This is the perfect place to rant, rave, and get advice. There’s a lot of practical knowledge here. There are a lot of really brilliant people around here. Everyone is really helpful. Reach out, someone will grab your hand.