hmmm… Today is not like most other days. I’m looking at not running out of insurance for another month and a few days… Yet, I can’t afford the trip to the Dr office for a simple A1C that should have been done in Feb. Here it is May. Time for another one! sigh… I am not using the insulin the way the dr prescribed it to me. 1 unit per 15 carbs. It does not bring my number down or even it out when I eat and count the carbs. I’m still hungry when I follow the instructions.
On the other side, my bloodpressure is up. I’ve noticed that because I have a little wrist cuff. I’ve been under alot of stress lately. Court for my son in fostercare… even though it is routine; I’m a nervous wreck standing before the judge. oh well. At least that is over for another 6 months. (I’ve noticed that my bloodsugar and my bloodpressure both go up the month of this courtdate everytime!) It’s like I slowly go up the month before. Then spike the month of court. Slowly go down the next month. I’m tired of it all.
I went to the pharmacy the other day.Discovered that I cant get more teststrips til the Dr is called. sigh… I said “dont bother. He’ll want to see me and I cant afford the copay.” I’ve been paying the darn copay for the test strips,syringes and insulin. ( I really dont want to hear the dr tell me again that "If I would just lose some weight and do aerobics I would not be diabetic."Yes, that is a direct quote from an email from him.)
I’ve been asking dear hubby to look into his insurance at work. He keeps forgetting. Finally, I told him “I’m down to my last 50 test strips… the free ones for doing the survey for FreeStyleLite.” his answer?“ok I guess I need to look into that insurance and find out what they will pay.” Ha ha. Am I not important to him? Somehow, amidst the worry for the two kids in counseling every week, juggling a full time job, adding mystery shopping for a small pay and coming home to a cranky menopausal wife… I guess I’m an aweful wife right now. He does try to take care of everything. I do all the paperwork I can…I pay the bills,keep the records for our homeschooling,get the kids to their appts on time, and all the other wifely chores of life. I am not allowed to call and ask about the insurance. sigh… That’s his bag. If I could do it, I wouldnt bother him.
Meanwhile, my emotional eating is out of control to say the least! I’m crunching carrots,celery and the occasional puffed corn cakes! I ran out of my favorite breakefast item,quinoa flakes. So, I’ve added two slices of whole spouted wheat bread as breakfast instead. sigh… I’m not hungry just want to munch my life away.Something to do. gum does not work for me. I "need"the crunch,chew and really bright flavorful taste! Sometimes I want sweet and sometimes I want salty.
Never bland! ewwwwwh! yuck! Oh and I love colorful food too! I really want interesting. hmmm… Did I mention that lately … I’m bored with food? Bored with life?
I’m so glad that our 180 days of official school will be over on Wednesday! We’re gonna PARTY! I dont know how… but I’ve got to do something to get over this boredom, munch crazy attitude!
I want to load the kids in the van and go explore! Go camping! Just GO!!! I want to have FUN!
Darn gas costs will keep us home. Darn gas price means choosing foods that are crappy white colors. Did I mention that I want colors? ( I’m working on that! Garden is planted all the way around the yard.!) Tomato plants are a foot tall, broccoli is up,kale is doing well!Little tiny carrot tops are showing etc… but it will be a seemingly long time before we can "graze"in our yard.
Oh and I AM BORED!!! to say the least. ummm… I think the kids are too.
Patterns of life. I thought summer was supposed to be looked forward to.A pattern of FUN. ya know? Well? What to do. I really do not want the TV on all summer long.
i know we’ll be in the swimming pool most afternoons… at least when it isnt raining… but hurricane season will be here on June 1st and stay with us til September. sigh… so What to do when it is down pouring and the wind is blowing too strong to be on the porch???
I need a plan. I need some action for “rain days.” sigh… I need a life!!! hello?What in this world is free or inexpensive enough to do now???