I've had some retinopathy in my left eye for a bit now, not too long, but more than a year. Laser treatments had worked until I got sick last year and threw up so hard that I must have ripped some more of those little suckers loose again. Long, aggravating story short, this newest bleed was getting better on its own until I had a coughing attack about a week ago and blew those vessels out again. I've gotta get a shot in my eye (like IN my eye...) and then get one every three months after that to keep the bleeding under control. I'm very discouraged. For one I don't want to have to rely on something like this to keep my vision clear. Two, I know I'm going to have a panic attack before the procedure, even though the eye doctor gave me an anti-anxiety med for it. I just can't relax, and I don't know why. I can't breathe, my throat closes up, my neck and chest muscles contract, and I'm stuck like that, struggling. My mom used to try to help me through them, but she's not here anymore. I don't get them often, but started having them back in 2007 when I was having fine needle aspirations and biopsies done on my thyroid to see if I had cancer. Anyway, I hate the feeling of being all panicky and anxious and I don't know how to control it. It makes me feel weak and pathetic, and I'm almost considering just canceling this procedure and kissing the sight in my left eye goodbye. I can pretty much kiss any hope of becoming a paramedic goodbye now, so what's left? It seems like it's just one thing after another, and I'm sick of trying to keep being strong.
Hi Cara, I'm sorry you're struggling with all of this. I would say, please just do whatever you need to do to get through the eye procedure, you don't want to lose your vision. Can another family member go with you? Try thinking of your mother and the strength she gave you when you had her there with you.
I recently became panicked when having an mri even though it was an open mri, it is still very enclosed and the technician was standing in front of me while putting a head brace on which I wasn't aware I was going to have to wear. It was so bad had to leave for a minute and he wanted to cancel the test. But somehow I made it through, I just said I'm going to do deep breathing and get through this. Can you try doing that? I figured out it was him standing in front of me that caused the panic because I couldn't see out of the enclosed seat as soon as he was gone I was ok and just watched tv. While this is nothing compared to an eye injection etc. maybe some of these techniques can help you get through this.
Don't give up on your dreams, you will get through this somehow. Take more medication if necessary and have someone drive you there. Some people need to be fully sedated for certain procedures and tests.
The anxiety that comes with the prospect of an eye injection is extreme. I know because I have been thru it. The doc told me before hand that the anticipation before the injection was worse that the procedure itself and he was right. I tried to justify in my mind that I did not need this even though I knew that my vision depended on it. I almost convinced myself but common sense won out in the end.
I have had four injections in my left eye and I have at least one more scheduled. I still get anxious before each but at least now when I go in I am not searching for all possible exits in case I need to make a quick getaway.
I do hope that you can overcome your anxiety because the injections are working for me. I agree with what Meee has said don't give up, do what you have to do, manage some how to get thru this. Meee's example of how she got thru an MRI is a good one. I used those same coping methods to get through my own MRI and my injections.
I know you can do it, Good luck
I also know the anxiety of the eye injection personally. In my case, it was done a week before surgery to settle things out in my eye. When I was waiting to go in, the authorization for insurance hadn't been completed, and I had to sit and wait. I tried to bail out twice until the staff took me into a quiet room to sit and wait. They were great. With the numbing drops they put in before hand, I would say it hurt less than some insulin injections I've done. The build up to it really is the worst part.
I struggle with anxiety around lows, affecting my control, and anxiety with a lot of other areas of my life. I had my second eye surgery this week, and while I was still shaking and anxious, it wasn't as bad as the first time. I took my meds in the morning, and did some deep breathing. I knew in my mind they were going to knock me out as soon as they could, and everything was going to be ok. It was something they do all the time without any problems. The same goes for the injections. They do them all the time, without issue, and your mind is really the biggest obstacle to having them done. Try the deep breathing. Sometimes music helps me. I also tell myself that anxiety is only a feeling, and as hard as it is, feelings can be ignored. There's a line in a song that goes, "fear is only in our mind." I remind myself of that, and sometimes that helps get me through too. Don't get me wrong, anxiety and fear are very real and powerful, I'm not trying to downplay your feelings. Just trying to offer things that sometimes help me. Let us know how it goes.
Also, don't give up on the dream of being a paramedic. My brother is a paramedic, and I worked as a 911 operator for quite a few years. Diabetes and everything that comes with it does not have to get in the way.