Nothing annoys me more than people trying to comfort others by telling them “God never gives us more than we can handle.” First of all, way to assume that everyone subscribes to/is comforted by your brand of theology. But second of all, people get more than they can handle ALL THE TIME. That’s way people commit suicide, why they desert their families, why they institutionalize family members who they are incapable of taking care of at home. It’s even a reason why, in the face of unemployment or lack of access to medical care, they stop taking care of their own chronic illnesses. Why, in the face of all of the evidence to the contrary, do you insist that people never get more than they can handle? What you are doing in that case is blaming the victim for admitting that in fact they have more than they can handle. You just want everyone to stop bothering you and put on a happy face, a pretense that yes, they can handle it. Because you don’t have to handle whatever it is that they are handling.
The universe is neither a rational nor a just place. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. Genocides happen to innocent people, enrichment happens to corrupt people. Deal with it.
Hear hear. Very true. I am a Christian, and hate when I hear such inane platitudes. There is so much suffering, and so much more than we can handle - we have to do our best to hold each other up through such times, and sympathize deeply with those who are overwhelmed by horrible circumstances.
Religious platitudes are the poetry of ignorance, words used as weapons to crush people of all stripes.
Thanks Frances, for posting honestly.
“No, I’m not a pessimist. At some point the world sts on everybody. Pretending it ain’t st makes you an idiot, not an optimist.”
The correct verse is found in the book of Phillipians 4:13. That is in the New Testament, the back “half” of the Bible.
It reads, "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me."
The key to being able to get through anything is twofold: First, you need to be a Christian in word and deed and not just lip service. You must be a true follower of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. You need to be completely and totally reliant on God for your ability to do anything. You need to pray (speak and listen to God) daily. You need to ask him to help you, and that doesn’t mean saying “Oh God!” when things don’t go right. Secondly, He doesn’t guarantee that everything will turn out the way you want it to. It will turn out the way GOD wants it to. There is a purpose in everything that happens, and it’s all to bring people’s attention back to God.
Sooo…the reason I have had Type 1 diabetes since age 5, Hashimoto’s since age 18, arthritis, cataracts, etc. is for God to know and me to keep my eyes on Him, cause Our Father knows best. Whether you believe it or not is irrelevant. Christians know the end of the story of life, and God wins.
Woah! this is going to open a HUGE bag of worms!! I happen to agree, many people - “true followers, completely reliant and devout Christians” are handed horrors that they CANNOT handle every day, the cop out is it’s then said that “They must not be truly devoted” or that “that’s the way God wants it” which is a problem because it’s a cop out, you can’t prove it either way. But, If it works for you then go for it. Life is tough and we all need support whether it’s church, family, friends or a combination of all to get them through. This is probably not the forum for this discussion and I foresee some very heated arguments!!!
Thanks. I’ve got a lot better moral compass than any of the avowed followers of Christ involved in politics. If they were truly followers of Christ, we would have health care for all and a secure safety net for our seniors. Not a full court press to make sure the rich don’t pay their share in taxes.
That phrase has always bugged me. When god gives you only what you can handle, are you supposed to think that is a gift?
I am a beleiver in Christ, ANd I have been handed more than I Thought I coulkd bear numerous times in my life. I expect that I will continue to go through this as I go through life. It is the human condition. these peaks and these valleys. But I have my faith to hold on to when eveything seems to be piling up. I have hope, in spite of the cirumcstances…That is what I get from my relationship with God. I don’t hate, and I have hope. I always have hope. And through this faith, though the worst of all possible scenarios i I still Still feel awful, and I still may cry, and I still wonder sometimes ,“Why me?”, particularly with the onslaught of a new symptom, or family problems, or financial setbacks… I am learning to ask’Why NOT me?". I know and completely believe that I am here for a purpose. How I deal with hardships may serve as an inspiration to others.
I agree: "the universe’, the world we live in , is not always “just’, and Bad things DO happen. I But I can hold on and not hate, forge forward without fear, and give thanks when I make it through : That is how I " Deal with it”, Frances.
God Bless,
Brunetta
" I have heard that we never get more than we can handle." … I read this comment in another blog , posted today …The family, who posted , is going through a tremendous amount of sadness .I wonder, because of the bold comment, that this blog appeared .I never felt , that the person who wrote the bold comment , as highlighted by me , ment it to be annoying, hurtful or otherwise. I hope I am wrong …but it certainly appears not to be a coincidence .I will delete my comment, if I have erred in my observation …
I have nothing else to add .
My mother used to say things like that to me when I was growing up. After she found out about my diagnosis she actually said she was glad it was me that got type 1 because of all her children she thinks I can handle it better!!! I was kind of insulted and I have to say if I am handling it better, than my brother and sister would have been dead years ago. Then my oldest daughter was diagnosed at age 6. Over the last few years I have had one complication after the other and believe it or not, I HAVE REACHED THE POINT WHERE I HAVE MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE!!! Thank you for bringing this up because I was wondering if I was the only one who disagreed with this statement.
I’m with you, Frances. Comforting in time of need is reaching out with understanding & empathy. Nothing resembling understanding in that statement.
There’s no justice. Events occur at random.
Frances, thanks for saying in plain words what so many of us feel and I just can’t help but comment on this. The canned responses to disease, illness and death that come from the church are meaningless. Are they kidding? If this was “given” to me, where’s the “return” desk because I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT.
I would never try to deny anyone their beliefs and if their religion is of comfort- I’m all for it. But PLEASE don’t try to quote scripture to me to prove that this is either reasonable or that I just “don’t understand God’s will”- it will simply annoy me and insult my intelligence at the least. If “god” thinks it’s such a grand idea that I get this, people get cancer, children die, then I don’t want to know him/her. But at the very least, spare me from the platitudes of humans.
Not a good day as you might have guessed from this post…
Variability is the law of life, and as no two faces are the same, so no two bodies are alike, and no two individuals react alike and behave alike under the abnormal conditions which we know as disease.
William Osler
here all r correct in their openions,at the same time we know this disease is curable.so if some one giving some hope to patients in way of religion or other thing is that bad
Hi Frances,
I feel ya. I don’t believe in God or religion so I don’t pay attention to those phrases. But yeah, do I have more than I can handle? Well, yes, but I would rephrase it for myself in that “I have more than I WANT to handle.” - not that I can’t do it - but who wants too? Sometimes we have no choice. For me, that is when my resourcefulness kicks in and I figure it out eventually. Unfortunately I know there is lots more to come down the road. I always think “Oh, I just bet ‘such and such’ will happen to me next - wouldn’t that be just great?”
But everyone has there breaking point. You know, usually people who give that “more than one can handle speech” don’t have anything really HEAVY to handle. At least not on a day to day basis. They are those continually optimistically perky types who us half-glass people who to tell them to shove it. I’ll be optimism when I feel like it, thank you very much. 
In reality, when I look at those people lives - I see I handle more than they do and they look like wusses to me. Just wait until they get “more than they can handle” - and see them crumble. Just like the rest of us didn’t. 
Funny how some people think the smallest things are a BIG crisis - well, some of these people haven’t had anything BIG happen to them which is why they say stuff like that. We have backbones made of stainless steel on here.
I saw it someplace, I’m not sure where, but the quote was attributed to Mother Tersea, something along the lines of " I know the Lord will not give me more than I can handle, I just wish he did not have such trust in me". I like that one. I also like the one that says I can handle it. I may not handle tactfully, or with poise or grace, it may be ugly with a lot of yelling, but it WILL get handled.
That’s my own belief system. I can still remember when my second child was diagnosed, I handled it till I came home with her from the hospital, and proceeded to vomit violently as it truly hit me, not just me, her big sister and my Mom, but BOTH of my girls were D’xed at < 12 months old. I freaked for a while, cried, screamed, shook, then got up and dusted myself off, and took care of business. I mean we all HAVE a choice, but for me, there IS no choice except to keep fighting as good a fight as I can muster up that particular day.
I hope you are able to find the strength to keep trying. . .
If I felt that I could handle everything life throws my way by myself, I would never have become a Christian. I’ve been through circumstances that would drive other people to suicide or insane innumerable times. I live by this quote from Don Francisco, a Christian singer: “There ain’t nothin’ gonna happen today the Lord and I together can’t handle.” Any person who claims to be a Christian and uses the line you quoted on you is deluded. A true Christian trusts God to get them through every day, knowing that they can’t make it on their own. Otherwise, why become a Christian if you can handle everything in life without any help?