What do you do when someone close to you tells you that diabetes is your problem and that they don't want it in their life?
I understand part of this as I don't want it my life either. But, I have no choice in the matter. For me it was an unannouced punch in the face. Something I have to deal with now, today. I guess I'm trying to understand the perspective of the other side of me. I'm telling myself that maybe this requires some time for someone close to diabetes to come to accept, and with time I will understand the real truth.
Anyone who has dealt with this and is willing to share their experience is much appreciated.
In short when one learns of another’s condition it touches their mortality. How they deal with that information gives information to both their attitude and willingness to understand the condition.
I understood this well before I was DX’ed with D.
My mother, before she passed, spent 4 years in a Alzheimer’s unit and I had to care for her. It was absolutely appalling how many of her fellow residents never even got a visit from a family member. They didn’t want anything to do with it.
I remember talking to a daughter of one of the residents and how she told me all her siblings refused to visit their mother because of her Alzheimer’s. Out of 4 siblings she was the only one that cared for her mom. Point being even within families this occurs.
Yes as you say they have to work through it, but some never do…
Is this person someone close to you? A family member? Are they working through their own diabetes? I agree with Pauly, when someone we love gets a disease that we know little about it is like we have to run. I am one of those runners…my mother got lung cancer about four years ago, and for the first two weeks, I didn’t talk to her, although previous to this we talked every day…I couldn’t see her dying…and she was doing just that. She made it 6 weeks to the date that she was diagnosed, yet, I spent only the last four with her. I was afraid, not so much of my own mortaility, but of seeing what she was going through…I didn’t want to lose her. Diabetes has a bad rap as far as the horrible things that can happen to you, and that’s all most people know about it. So it does frighten them…it did my family…and I am sure others. I guess I would show them that you are still you, and deal with your life as you always have…they will see you dealing with it, and maybe slowly come around. If they don’t, well, that’s their non-acceptance and you really can’t force them to do anything else, but you can forgive their ignorance. I’m sorry.
I’m not sure how I’d react, although I’d take it personally. Diabetes doesn’t define who I am as a person, but it is a part of my life, and if someone would tell me its my problem and they don’t want it in their life, they’d be rejecting me. Diabetes isn’t something we ask for, but for some reason we’re chosen to live with it. Shame on this person for telling you this. They sound heartless and callous. I’m sorry they said this to you. If someone cannot accept me for everything I am, I have no reason to have them in my life.
I’m so sorry. A person that says that has big issues about themself, not you. And may not be someone you need in your life right now.
Most people do not understand how they reaction affects us… since we have no choice. I see my husband never takes it personally, and he save himself some suffering that way… I sometimes do, but to tell you the truth… I don’t expect my friend or family to REALLY understand what we are going through… how could they? I had no clue of what it means to have a husband with LADA, and even after all this years and dedication, I know I have no clue…
Scott, Your heart must be breaking… I am so sorry this happen to you, but I encourage you to remember this… though the people we allow close enough to effect us can hurt our feelings as much as boost our egos, this is only because their opinion matters, NOT because we are defined by these opinions. There is a difference in low self esteem and simply acknowledging that it hurts when those we hold dear do not see that we are wonderful… As much as this may not be the comment that makes you feel better, Kathyann is right… Let your heart hurt, survive it w/ forgiveness, and be proud of youself