By the way, this is directly copied from the post on my blog at www.overnightbite.blogspot.com
This post is in response to the TuDiabetes question for the month of February. It's a bit overdue, but hey, it's still February!!! The question is: What would you do with a diabetes-free day?
Well, seeing how I was only diagnosed about a year ago, I have a mind stocked up with memories about life without D. I remember all the crazy things I did (well, ate) without worrying about blood sugar and insulin. And trust me, I ate pretty irresponsibly. I was under the impression that I just had a fortunate metabolism, which is why I could eat without gaining anything. Then I started actually losing weight, but well, you know what happened then. And that's a whole other story. Point is, I remember all too well what it's like to be D free.
However, having diabetes for this long has actually influenced my answer to this question. Yeah, before diabetes I was carefree and ate everything under the sun and slept in until 2 on the weekends. You'd probably think that, given a break from diabetes, I'd do the same. Actually, I would not. I am a creature of habit. And now, it is my routine to wake up, test, calculate, dose, eat, etc. If I woke up one day to be told that I was diabetes free, I would probably not believe it. As I've mentioned countless times before, I am paranoid (I seriously need to look for a synonym for that word) and I would still be worried, or at least concerned, about my blood sugar. I'd probably test just to be sure.
Everything I ate, I'd still count the carbs for out of habit. I'd say, "Okay, so I'm going to eat 30 carbs, my insulin to carb ratio is 1:15, and.... what was my blood sugar?" Then I'd realize that I didn't know my blood sugar, because I hadn't tested, because I was free. And wherever I went, I'd look at numbers thinking, "That's a great blood sugar!" or "That clock needs some insulin," or "Give that freeway exit sign some juice!" (Yes, I'm a wee bit crazy. That's what diabetes does to the brain.)
I'd automatically start rubbing my fingers together when I woke up, preparing to do a test. I'd reach for my Omnipod PDM, only to find it no longer there.
[Keep in mind that I'd go back to waking up super late, for sure!]
I'd still keep in touch with the friends I have made through diabetes, and through diabetes camp. Truth be told, I'd be a bit sad that diabetes camp would no longer be a place for refuge (though I'm sure it'd continue, right? Hopefully?) I'd still read the blogs, and write posts, and automatically look up at the TV when I hear the word 'diabetes' mentioned in a commercial.
So as you can see, on a diabetes free day, or week, or month, or whatever, I wouldn't really be D free. Because it'd still be on the brain. This is not meant to be a depressing post, by the way, just a truthful one.