For the last few years, I’ve been struggling with my body image. I was mistakenly diagnosed as Type 2 when I was 27 and I felt that my weight at the time had something to do with it. After that, I vowed to do everything I could to be thin and have great bg control. In six years, my A1C has been higher than 7 only twice. To do this, I limited the amount of carbs I eat everyday and have had about 3-5 lows per week. I also began not taking insulin whenever I ate something that was high in carbs because I didn’t want them to “count.”
In the last 6 months, I have had troubles with my family and high stress because of it. To deal with it, I just focused on exercising and improving how I look. This made me hungrier and I made more bad food choices. In the last few months I stopped taking the insulin when I should and my bgs have hoovered in the 20s mmols for days at a time. I lost some weight doing this, got a lot of compliments and felt better about myself.
I know it’s wrong and I know that I should stop doing this. I resolved to take my insulin properly and get back on track, but every time I do, I feel worried I will gain the weight back and getting distressed and I can’t bring myself to do it. I have avoided blood tests as they would surely trigger a call from my doctor.
I’ve seen a psychologist at the diabetes centre twice, and I have not told him what I have been doing. What will happen if I tell him the truth at my next appointment? I work full time to support my family, and I don’t want to be put in treatment that would take me away from my job. I also don’t want the embarrassment of others like my endo or fam doc to find out.
This is very dangerous.and you must see a doctor and tell them of the issue. This must include discussing this matter open and honestly with your therapists. You have no choice.
Look i get it, I see a therapist, and find them useful, so long as i tell them the truth. If you do not you wasting time and money.
Not taking insulin is dangerous plese tell us you will get it fixed, do not let tit be st go by until you get the appointmeily
Developing a good rapport with a new therapist does take some time and part of that depends on trusting that the therapist is empathetic and supportive (and not there to judge you). This is really hard when we are already judging ourselves harshly, I know. Please, please, please–make an appointment soonest and get the help you deserve to find solutions that will work for you and your family situation.
I think you’re side stepping to avoid seeing the point here. You definitely will stop doing this. I think that is pretty clear, at least to me. What’s in some doubt is not “if”, but the “when” and the “how” of the change.
Will you change because you are doing your best to get what control you can over your life? Or will you stop because your body has broken down so much from neglect and abuse that you are no longer able to care for yourself?
Again, you’re stepping right past the obvious. You already are in a personal “treatment plan” of your own crafting which will eventually take you away from your job. What you are doing is just not sustainable in the long term. If what you are doing goes on, then things will just start to fall apart.
meh. Being a shrink s/he will probably at some point ask you how you feel about what you doing. I wonder if there would be some probing about whether you are suicidal or not since your current behavior is self-destructive. But who knows? The easiest way to find out is to talk to the shrink.
Usually a shrink’s first instinct is to maintain confidentiality. But one obvious exception to that rule is if someone says that they are planning to harm themselves. I don’t know if physical self-abuse is far enough into that category for a shrink to feel ethically compelled to try to intervene.
First of all, your honesty will be proof to your psychologist that you don’t need to be put into treatment. It will show him or her that you are facing the issue by bringing it out into the open. Secondly, by telling someone “out loud” you are making a commitment to hold yourself accountable to the changes you need to make to stay healthy and alive.
I wonder if there would be some probing about whether you are suicidal or not since your current behavior is self-destructive. But who knows? The easiest way to find out is to talk to the shrink.