This is from my blog The Juice Box Diaries. See the original post to see the pictures that come along with it.
[Vegan BBQ Pizza Picture, see post]
Homemade Vegan BBQ Pizza, recipe later in post!
Sometimes I wonder what people might think when they overhear me saying, “God, I’m so high,” in public. Do they sneer, giggle, scoff, smile, or even feel jealous? Do they think about asking if I could ‘hook them up?’ It’s funny, really, accidentally misleading the waiter at a restaurant or runner at a park. But what that waiter or runner don’t realize, is that the ‘high’ I’m experiencing feels like having the stomach flu while insanely thirsty and emotional, not a full-body rhapsody of relaxation, laughter, and munchies.
Last night I tamed my third 500+ blood sugar in a week. As someone who prides herself on great blood sugar control and a kickass A1c, I’ve felt like punching myself in the face and yelling, “get it together!” These incidences weren’t my fault, just unfortunate combinations of events that resulted in my own agony. Last night, for instance, even though I meticulously calculated my dinner insulin dose, my blood sugar still soared well past 500 in a few short hours. At the time, I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong. My pump site hadn’t come out and I thought I’d counted my carbs correctly.
With a blood sugar that high, I decided I wouldn’t take the chance and give my correction dose via the pump. I thought an injection would be the safer choice. Turns out my instinct served me well because upon changing my pump site, I discovered a sneaky kink in the end of the cannula, the tubing that sits under the skin to deliver insulin into my body. That small bend in the tube was all it took to skyrocket my blood sugar into coma-worthy numbers.
Last night’s incident wouldn’t have rattled me as much had I not gone through a blood sugar mess just the night before. After an awesome night of homemade pizza and playing around in an indoor climbing gym, I returned home to a nasty 450 blood sugar. Ah!! I still can’t quite pinpoint the cause of that baby, but I’ve inferred that maybe I misjudged the amount of carbs in the pizza. Also, I took my pump off while climbing, which I always do and have never had a problem, but I guess this time my body didn’t agree with that choice. Diabetes is nothing if not unpredictable.
What even the people closest to me might not realize is that being high feels terrible. At the climbing gym, I didn’t necessarily feel sick, but I could tell that my body felt off. My limbs were sluggish, as though moving through glue, and my weight felt heavier. All moisture had dissipated from my tongue and behind my eyes. But even dehydrated, my mouth felt coated in a sticky substance, like simple syrup. My stomach ached as though I’d swallowed tar and I felt exhausted. You might wonder why I didn’t catch the high blood sugar before coming home with symptoms like that. Sometimes it’s tough to distinguish general fatigue from a long day or from a blood sugar catastrophe. Also the thirst could arise from the physical activity involved with climbing. Plus, I figured that even if I’d gone a bit high, the bolus from dinner would kick in and bring me back to a respectable level. Long story short, I never suspected that my sugar had gotten that far out of control.
[Climbing gym pictures, see post]
The hardest part of dealing with high blood sugars is that it takes so damn long to come back down. Thus, I’ve had to learn to go about my normal activities while simultaneously feeling crappy. I can’t hit a pause button and say, “Wait, I’m almost done climbing!” Sure, I can try to take it easy, like slowing my pace if I’m walking at a mall or by taking a break to drink some water, but I can’t choose to lay in bed for three hours watching TV if I have something important to accomplish that day. I’ve pretty much noticed that diabetes likes to strike at the most inconvenient times, like going low right before a kickboxing class or when your site rips out on the way to a dinner.
For over a decade, I’ve bottled up my real emotions towards diabetes. Each time I’ve gone high or low at an inconvenient time, I think bits of rage and sadness filed away in a piggy bank in my brain. I’d say that last night that piggy bank filled up and started to overflow. Let’s just say there were tears involved, which weren’t helped by the high blood sugar. My mom tried to comfort me, but all I could say was, “Nobody understands how hard this is for me.” I’m sick of feeling sick, plain and simple.
Now I know that I can’t let these past few nights beat me down. I cracked a little, letting vulnerability get the best of me, but I’m determined to keep fighting. I have to keep fighting because I want to be around for a long time. In other words, I don’t want to die or be stricken with complications. I want to feel great so I can go climbing and make homemade pizza like the one in the recipe below!
Vegan BBQ Pizza w/ Caramelized Onion
- 1 cup beer, room temperature
- 2 tablespoons vegan margarine, room temp
- 1.5 tablespoons sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 1/2 cups white wheat flour (or pastry, or all purpose, or spelt combo)
- 2 1/4 teaspoons yeast
- Barbecue sauce
- 1 onion, cut in fourths and sliced
- Broccoli and cauliflower, broken into tiny florets
- Green pepper, diced
- 3/4 package Daiya mozzarella cheese
- Oil, for coating & sauteing
- Salt, garlic powder & pepper to taste
Start by preparing the dough. Put beer and margarine in bottom of bread machine (Or of course you could make the dough by hand and do the kneading/rising process yourself). Add flour, yeast, sugar, and salt. Make sure salt and yeast don’t mix. Turn to dough setting and press start.
While bread machine is working, prepare the veggies. Caramelize onions over med-low heat until soft and golden, about 30 min. Lightly coat broccoli, cauliflower, and pepper in oil (I just sprayed with canola oil from a non-stick can) and sprinkle with garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Roast in preheated 400 degree oven for 15 minutes. Set veggies aside until ready to top pizza.
When bread machine finishes, place dough in oiled bowl and allow to continue rising for 30 min. Spread onto pizza pan and brush with oil. Top with barbecue sauce, Daiya cheese, & veggies. Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste and bake at 425 for 15 minutes or until golden brown and cheese is melted.
[Caramelized onion collage, see post] Caramelized onions make everything taste gourmet!