Why are you NOT taking care of yourself?

I have often thought about diabetes as a job. Actually, I would look at the skills needed for this position and not even apply. If I had to apply for this job I doubt that I would be hired. If I were hired, I would eventually be let go.
Sometimes I think about different people I know and think about how good they would be at this job. I don’t wish they were diabetic but I feel like they would be so good at it if they were. We were not chosen to be diabetic because of our qualifications or ability to cope with this disease. It was more like a random draft. I’m not glad you are diabetic but am glad that you have what it takes…you are qualified to do this job. It sounds like you were forced into doing something that, for you, is not difficult.

Sincerely, Dena
Type 1 for 38 years and still struggling with it.

OMG I am soooo impressed by everyone’s insights - what a dynamic discussion. All have some valid points.

I have had db for 34 years. (Sometimes) I don’t take care of myself because I am tired of the grind - just plain exhausted.


I am sorry that it came across that way. I really did not mean to come down on anyone more than I was trying to ask a question… I guess I did not ask the question correctly.

April, I know I know I have offended people here. One thing that most of you have made very clear is that you are trying… everyone is at least trying to keep there numbers under control… trying to do the right thing is a heck of a lot different then not caring or trying at all. Diabetes has helped remind me that I have friends and family that I love and who love me. I want to see my grandchildren and grow old with my wife… I know in order for me to do this, I must take care of myself. This community and it’s members take care of themselves. If you did not care you would not be logging in, and helping each other, and helping me right now.

Not yet, I know I am honeymooning and I know that my time will probably come when I am having to give myself shots before every meal, and check my numbers 6 and 8 times a day. I am scared I am not going to be qualified forever. I am trying my best but I know my time in the limelight is limited. At the end of the day, I want to try the best I can at being healthy. Other diabetics try much harder than I do and are not successful… but they are trying. That is something the research never shows… is the efforts diabetics go through TO be healthy. Best of luck Dena and thanks for the comments…

Kristin, you are trying…

Why should I care about someone who doesn’t care at all and lets their health go. I guess that is a good question for myself. I don’t care about a smoker’s health because they know better, right? Or do they?? This gets into the other side of the story that is hard, if not, impossible to figure out… that crazy human element…

Just like 15 or 20 years ago when everyone was saying… smoking is bad for you, stop smoking! It took 15 to 20 years for that to finally ring home for a lot of people. Yet, people still smoke.

I have things under control right now… but when things get out of control am I just going to put my arms up? I have no idea. All I do know is I want to stay healthy no matter what changes come my way. I hope and wish the same for everyone with diabetes, it just hurts to see and realize all the individuals we will lose because they either did not care for themselves or at least try to.

To answer your question, yes I do ask myself questions when I see a person smoking, etc… but I feel that the questions I ask myself are going to be different next time.

And yes, the answer to the question is there is no answer…

You’ll be just fine, Joe! When things got out of control, it sometimes took me a while to figure out how to control or to find the motivation to control them, but I keep on keeping on. You will too! And we’re here and can understand all the ups and downs of this struggle! It’s much easier to manage when you know that you are not alone…


When I post my hand picture to tu diabetes, mine will be the one that says “I am the insensitive jerk”… :slight_smile:

I am really not one, a jerk that is, I just get very emotional sometimes… even on things that I know only half the story on like today. Let me tell you though… it was hard reading some of the research I found about the numbers of people who are not taking care of themselves, whatever the reason. What would be interesting and actually uplifting is to see how many lives have been impacted by social sites like tu diabetes?

Now that is a discussion point… maybe I will go back and see if you guys have discussed this topic before.

I have learned a great deal through this discussion. This community is made up of a lot of emotional and passionate people that just so happen to have diabetes…

Joe, one thing I’ve learned over the years is the moment I believe I know all there is to know about something is to ask myself one question: " Do I know enough to known when I don’t know enough." and could there be things/situations about something I don’t see yet. If I think for a moment I may not see the whole picture I will back off until I have better clarity.
for years, I maintained good to excellent control just by diet, but now I am making the tansition to insulin dependence and am currently adjusting insulin. Last check, I am only producing 20% of the insulin I need, so in a year or so, I will be dependent on insulin. BTW, with the exception of a year when I was 28 (I was going through a divorce) I have never been over weight. For the last 15 years, I raise about an .acre garden. I also work as a carpenter. There is no shortage of work and often hard enough to pass as heavy excersize. so, I have a great diet and I excersize regularly, yet 18 months ago I lost glycemic control. I now take metformin and insulin multiple times per day.

There are days when I am certain my sugar will be great, but when I check it is 300. Other times, I am sure it will be bad only to discover it is less than 140. Joe, this is the problem all diabetics struggle wih…the frustration and the effort becomes overwhelming at times. At timesof great frustration and Before, I found this bunch of sweet people , I have become so depressed and so frustrated that I threww all my supplies into the garbage only to dig it out the next day because I was feeling so sick. The point is if you are new to diabetes, then you have a tremendous amount to learn and frustration as your disease progresses. Some one here cares enough to share some of the burden and wisdom of their experience.
The people on this site are the bestest and way above average. Please feel free to share new information with us and just assume some here may share something with you that you hadn’t formed a question yet.

peace and good health

This discussion has been good. This study is the reality of the world, not the reality of TuDiabetes.com

The members of TuDiabetes.com have shown to have a large majority of Type 1 (~70%)

The most important thing it is clear that noone is trying to be judgemental in this discussion.

What is the good that we can learn from this discussion?

We have to acknowledge that we cannot be perfect, and not being perfect does not mean that we don’t care, but we are imperfect as humans. We need to keep our eyes on our goals of keeping the best care we can on our control. If we only try for perfection, that can be unattainable at times, we only set ourselves up for failure. We can only be the best that we can be. No more, no less.


This is not meant to stop this discussion, but to help further communication and steer it so that we can all learn and grow from one another and make the most of this community.


How about this? Instead of worrying about why other people are/or not taking care of themselves and reading all of these studies to understand why, I think that maybe you should just stick to what you are doing and try to keep yourself in the best shape of your life like you said…eating well, logging your numbers etc…A lot of us do that here. I know I do.

But, to tell you the truth there really are no guarantees that if you do everything BY THE BOOK that you won’t die of diabetes or have diabetes complications etc… You know what for a while as I am sure everyone here can relate to, I have gotten some major bouts of Diabetes Burnout. If you dont know what that is you should probably look it up. I sincerely hope you never have to deal with it. It is also known that people that live with diabetes have a higher rate for depression. Having diabetes can really mess with your mind because it is a non stop 24/365/7 job. You get no breaks from diabetes. So sometimes, people make their own breaks or are going through denial. There are a lot of factors.

I think that sometimes doctors are to blame for people not taking care of themselves correctly. Primary Care physicians and Endocrinologists should recommend their patients to pyschologists specializing in diabetes from day 1 so they can understand about the mental factors to help them deal with a diagnosis, as well as sending them to nutritionists and Certified diabetes educators to learn how to live with it . People are not always educated about diabetes enough. In the field and out of the field.

Stop trying to figure out what makes people tick. You live YOUR LIFE they best way you know how, and we will live ours the best way we know.

I’m one of the ones whose blood sugar levels have been impacted by this community. Before I joined, I didn’t believe that ANYONE could get an A1c under 6.5 and I didn’t know if I could ever get under 7, but with the right amount of support, new ideas, and careful attention, my control is better than ever. And I’m dealing much better with the non-physical aspects of diabetes.

This does NOT mean perfect control, but it means the best management that I can do, most of the time. I hope that TuD can give many such great experiences!!

Oh, and about your hand picture. You are only allowed to have up to 3 words :wink: So you’ll need to abbreviate it!!! :wink: You are not a jerk, that’s very very clear from your responses-- you just brought up some of the most sensitive issues that we all deal with everyday.

I would like to personally accept Joe’s apology and I think we can all thank him for galvanizing us and making our community just that much stronger…Joe included.

Let us not forget that he is also one of us and even though his initial post may have seemed a bit (fill in the blank) he was man enough to own up to it.

One thing I realized today…one thing that is true about every one of us…is that in some way shape or form, we are all dealing with our personal FEAR of diabetes.

Although I may always be afraid, I, like Joe, will continue to face my fear and do whatever it takes to overcome it.


I was diagnosed recently, and I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t had an especially tough time getting my numbers down or changing my diet (yet). These posts are making me very aware of the serious struggle to maintain good control and fight complications over a long period of time. Thanks to everyone who shared their stories and opinions.

Wow, thanks for the great reading list!

I’m a noob too. I think that perhaps the way a person is diagnosed plays an important role. For example, I was on a steroid and this shot my BG numbers up making me feel ill and my vision went so blurry I could barely see. This was a pretty large motivating force for me to do something about it. On the other hand, if you’re diagnosed while you’re feeling well and just told to take some pills and they make you feel better I could understand that you probably wouldn’t be as concerned as I was.

In terms of testing, my medical aid doesn’t cover all my strips. In terms of exercise, I work and am studying part-time, and on top of doing all my own cooking I just don’t have time.

I’ll follow Dino and also accept the apology. I know I flipped out, as that hit below the belt. As a few of you know, I didn’t take care of myself for a long time, and was especially self-destructive, but it’s not that I never cared. You have no idea how badly I wanted to care, but I just didn’t know how to make it happen.

Imagine you’re dating someone, and they have an awesome personality, they’re attractive, they like a bunch of the same stuff you like, but no matter how you try to convince yourself, you just can’t feel anything more than friendly towards them. So you hang in there a little while thinking the spark will happen, but eventually you get frustrated that it’s not going anywhere for you so you give up. The only difference is, you can break up with that person. My “dating partner” was the inescapable D.

I wanted to care, I wanted to be motivated. I’d meet with CDE’s, RD’s, Dr.'s. I was seeing a therapist for almost all of my late teens and 20’s. I would sit and cry wishing I could just learn to get along with my 'betes.

I truly believe most people who appear to “not care” are experiencing something to that effect. Just because they might act like they don’t care, or even deny to your face that they care, doesn’t mean they don’t curl up at home crying because they wish they cared. It’s easy to get angry with them because that behavior is extraordinarily frustrating for friends and family. It takes a bigger person to recognize that there’s likely far more to it than what’s on the surface, and offer something not wrapped in judgment. I can assure you they probably already have an overflowing collection of judgments people have thoughtlessly tossed their way.

ditto… Lee Ann.

i was in the same boat Lee Ann, I know what you are talking about.