My daughter has been a diabetic for 14 yrs now within the last year she has had pancreatitis three times , I was told that it was not related to her diabetes ,but they do not know what is causing it ,she has also been told that she has fatty liver witch is from not taking care of herself I am at my wits end she seems to have given up on taking care of herself is this something that all teenagers go through i am worried sick ,and would like to know if anyone has any advise for me ,I am a single parent and have dealt with it all through all the years and right now if any-one can give me advise it would be appreciated .
PLEASE HELP
Tania,
I am new to this with a newly diagnosed 14 year old son, so I cannot give advice but I’d like you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know this disease is very frustrating and having two teenagers (one with diabetes) I understand what you are going through. Hang in there and stay strong for your daughter. I’m sure the doctors will figure it out. Does she have any role models that could motivate her to take better care of herself? Maybe another teen with diabetes could talk to her? I know it’s hard and my heart goes out to you. You are not alone!
I would try to find a support group (maybe call JDRF) for teens and young adults for her. Take over as much of the diabetes responsibilities as you can, such as night time testing, preparing her meals when home and giving her the carb counts, etc. Make it as easy as you can for her while you are home together, and she has to do everything when she is away from you. Teenage years are very hard, I can see… we are just entering the teen stage. I would get a second opinion about the fatty liver and he pancreatitis being a result of her not taking care of herself. It may or may not be related. I would seek out a specialist for this and keep trying until you find a doctor that can help her. I will pray you can find the help you need… personally, I don’t think the pancreatitis is her fault at all and it is a serious health problem. I would not give up until I find the right doctor that can help,
Thank you
No she does not have any role models,she does not seem to be interested in anything these days, I am trying to stay strong for her but i am just at the point where i do not know what i can do to motivate her any suggestions i make she simply shrugs them off , But thank you for the prayers i hope all is going well with your son and that he adjust to his new way of life .
You will be in my thoughts and prayers too
Thank You
She has been to see a few different specialists and she will be getting a liver biopsy today . I do not have a problem with helping her when she is home but she works evening and i work during the day so we very rarely get to see each other anymore .I have tried to encourage her to meet other kids with diabetes but she is not interested in doing that either.
Ours is the same way… she does not identify with the diabetic community enough to go to support meetings. I really think a specialist may have the answer re pancreatitis (someone at work had pancreatitis, very healthy eater and non-D,) Ignored the extreme pain and was treated too late. So I know it is very serious. I would not let her work evenings if she did not take care of herself when away from home (if she is still a young enough teen that you can ground her). Just keep talking to her; she will come around.
Tania,
She may benefit from counseling. My son has started seeing a child psychologist and my older daughter also sees someone because of the stress it has put on her… This disease affects the whole family. You may be able to have family counseling together. It really helps to talk to someone. These online support groups are good but it may be time for professional help. She may be depressed and that is treatable. Don’t give up, you will be able to help her. As parents, we have to be strong but I know it is so hard somedays… I have had my share of frustration and crying spells over this… in the end, we just can’t give up.
Hi, Tania. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. Not sure it will help to know this, but yes, your daughter is doing what most diabetic teens do … especially those who have had it a long time. Most kids have latent anger and resentment about having diabetes. In addition to feeling it’s not fair, they feel diabetes is controlling them and they resent it. They sometimes express those suppressed feelings by taking control of the situation in rebellious ways and in ways that are exactly the opposite of what good diabetes care demands. I was dx’d when I was 2, and I quit doing everything when I was in high school. I even quit taking my insulin for a while because I discovered it was a great way to lose weight. Unfortunately, at that age I could do really stupid things and not feel horrible. My nephew is 16, has diabetes and is going through a similar stage. He doesn’t take boluses before meals, won’t adjust his pump basal to fit his sugars, eats whatever he wants to, etc., etc. So … yes, she’s perfectly normal. (Big help, huh?) Take heart. Although I “mailed it in” regarding diabetes control during my teens and early 20s, I have zero complications in spite of having had diabetes for 43 years. I’m not condoning her behavior, but I can say from experience that the more my parents “nagged,” the less I did and the more determined I became to control the situation my own way. You’ve gotten great advice here about finding a teen diabetes support group. Knowing she’s not along and hearing other kids talk about their experiences could help. Counseling may also help. My biggest suggestion is to not express anger at her behavior, but to instead let her know you understand her frustrations. Put the control back in her court and ask her what plan SHE would use to help get things back under control. Then let her do it. (With doc’s approval/guidance, of course.)
Regarding her health issues … have the doctors recommended using digestive enzymes to help take some of the pressure off of her pancreas? Have they recommended dietary changes to help with the fatty liver issue? I had elevated liver enzymes and was diagnosed with fatty liver in my early 30s. Simple dietary changes and a regimen of Milk Thistle eliminated the issue within a few months. It might be worth it to find an integrative MD/Nutritionist/Naturopath who can help you address these issues naturally and less invasively. Simple alternatives exist for protecting the pancreas from pancreatitis and for helping the liver recover.
I wish you the very best of luck! My heart is with you!
Tania,
The fatty liver thing probably requires more investigation. Usually people who have this are overweight, or have high triglycerides or both. When triglycerides get over 1000 then a person is really at risk for pancreatitis. Triglycerides should be below 200 or so. People with metabolic syndrome - overweight, high triglycerides, high blood pressure, etc often benefit from cholesterol lowering meds like Tricor or something similar. I bet if you get her cholesterol checked, it will show high triglycerides. Control those, you will probably decrease the fatty liver issues and pancreatitis. I’ve had high triglycerides for over 25 years (was in my twenties when diagnosed) and fatty liver problems as well. Developed type 2 about fifteen years ago. They all seem to go hand in hand.
Eric
Hi IndyHealer
Digestive enzymes have not been recommended , She was told to go on a low fat diet but that was only for a short period of time.i was told that she needs to take Vitamin E tablets as that will help repair any damage done to her liver .She has been told by her doctor that she need to go to counseling witch she is very reluctant to do .Thank you about the nagging tip i do tend to do that ,I am really trying to get her to join some kind of teen group for kids with diabetes . I do have 2 other children that are not diabetic my youngest is high risk for getting it but i think the family counseling might be a very good idea thank you .The milk thistle i will try and read up about that a bit more thank you for the input .
Tania
My heart aches for you, as I feel like I’m reading my own post…My daughter is 19 years diagnosed and 21 years old. She has absolutely no desire to care for herself, she would rather die. I am beside myself sick with this everyday. My son is 13 and her attitude effects him as well he hates being home if she is here. Some kids just really take care of themselves and some just don’t care. Getting them to talk to someone is impossible because they need to WANT to and they just don’t. I want to kick her out of my home because I feel I am being abused here with the way she treats us. I know it’s her levels, the HI makes her so nasty and she’s always HI. I am also a single parent, my ex walked out and moved to florida 7 years ago…his answer when I ask for help is you deal with it. What is going to happen to these kids?? And if she’s 21 and her attitude is like this then when does it end?
Just want you to know your not alone, it’s hard, and an awful place to be as a parent. Hang in there, I’m trying too.
Hi. Very new to this forum but not to Diabetes. Daughter is 19 - diagnosed at 8. We had never had any issues with her until her senior year in high school. She started lying about everything not just her diabetes. She was accepted to a very prestigious school last fall and while there refused to care for herself. A typical day was no checks, no boluses, bs in the 400-600 range. She was taken my ambulance to the ER many times over the year and finally had to take a leave of absence a month before the end of the school year. She finally had to withdraw and because of her academic status received no credit for her time there. She started therapy as soon as she got home, albeit with someone not specifically specializing in diabetes. She was diagnosed with depression. She spent four months at home - going to therapy weekly. She refused to take her antidepressants unless I actually handed them to her. She lied about everything to therapist. Says it is all my fault. Hates me, blames me etc…I am the family member who holds her accountable for her choices - and her care and she is angry at me for that. Dad does nothing … he is the good cop and I have always been the bad cop. She transferred to another school closer to home this year and is headed in the same direction. Her A1C has not changed since she had to leave school in the spring. We cannot afford another 50 thousand dollar tuition bill at college. She is not going to classes again, she is checking three times a day which is better than none but she is not taking her antidepressants nor going to counseling. I think I am literally losing my mind. It will be the end of my marriage if this continues. I am tired of this struggle for her, for us and what it is doing to our family. Thanks for listening.
I am really sorry to hear about your daughter E’s Mom
I am in exactly the same position as you with my daughter , I know it is the most depressing situation we could find ourselves in. I think all we can do is hang in there and hope for the best witch i find very difficult to do as do we all my thoughts are with you ,
Maybe you and your husband need some alone time a little weekend vacation .
Be Strong after posting this discussion i am feeling a bit better still very fustrated but not so alone
Tania
Thank you for your post Chris
My thought are with you
As an adult diabetic who lived through age 13 with the disease, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. (I was diagnosed at 4) We didn’t have nearly as much control/care options back then, but the scariest thing I ever faced was possible kidney problems- I think my endocrinologist said that to try to scare me into better BG control (it worked). The kidney test was normal.
I used NPH insulin alone back then & discovered that I could (finally!) eat sweets the whole next day if I cranked my dose up- which was also the beginnings of my first insulin reactions. It was extremely dangerous and painful, but what I focused on was only the immediate reward- cupcakes and candy, or what have you.
It’s well documented that until a certain age, teens go around thinking they are invincible and have no sense of possible poor health or even death- unfortunately very highly related to high numbers of fatal teen car crashes. Which is a rather hard thing to work against & something I think was part of my problem when I was cranking up my NPH.
What grounded me was playing high school sports, having younger children who looked up to me, and my dad (my primary care giver) who reminded me frequently that he loved me and that it was his “job to die first” and that “parents should never outlive their kids.” Those things made me realize, over time how precious a gift life was.
Playing sports was one of my favorite activities- and I didn’t want to be embarrassed by crazy bgs levels while I played. Is there anything similar that would attract her? Maybe a gymnastics/dance class?
The younger children in my life were my much younger siblings- and what a powerful reflection of myself came through them. They copied my hair and watched me do my makeup- seemed like I should probably take care of myself for their sake. (I’d have also LOVED to mentor a younger diabetic- perhaps that would appeal to your daughter?)
And finally, there was my dad- rooting for my health and being candid. It probably seems almost shocking that he told me it was his job to die first but it got my attention- I still appreciate how straight forward he is with me. And when the time came and I said- hey, you always made me go to the doctor, now it’s your turn, he didn’t argue.
My 5 year old son was diagnosed with type 1 last year, so I may be facing the same challenges as you in the future. But one thing that works really well so far is that we allow diabetes to be “stupid”- when he complains about finger pokes or infusion site changes, I don’t try to make it into something better ala “but look at how healthy you are.” Instead, I let him complain and I empathize (he sees me doing that stuff too), and then when the time is right, I tell him stories about what it’s like for me and what it was like for me back then.
He thinks it’s hysterical that I used to have to sit for 2 whole minutes to check my blood sugar or that cupcakes were a never treat.
It’s heart breaking as a diabetic and mom of a diabetic to read your post. I wish neither of you were dealing with it. But since you are- I hope you find something/she finds something that makes good health click- it truly is better!
In the mean while I found a link I liked (as read by a former teen diabetic :):
http://www.dlife.com/diabetes/information//daily_living/kids/teens…
Good luck!
Carolee