15 Months later

I have finally decided that I want to fight this diease, at the beginning I said I wanted to fight this diease, but in reality I did not have the desire to fight this diease. Now I finally think I have the desire to fight it. Over the last 15 months I would go back and forth eating healthy then eating what I normally ate, doing exercise then not doing exercise. It finally acumualated in myself not doing any BG checking or eating properly, or exercise. I was just relying on the pills to do it for me. So I was in denial.

My deepest part of denial was during June and July 2010, but by the middle of July I wanted to get off the pills(and in my thinking now), get off the crutch. The turning point for me will be that on August 1st I had had my last fast food meal. Meaning for me that I will now stop having McDonalds, Burger King, and the like. If I do “need” to go out and eat I will look at healthier choices.

I now have a plan, it is not a firm plan, but it is a plan I can now work at because I have now have the will, the desire to fight this diease.

And it all starts will taking things one day at a time, knowing that it will be a long fight, and knowing that I want to fight it. It took me years to get the way I am now, and I know it will take years to get myself out of where I am now.

Why does it have to be either/or? It seems to me that you can change your diet for the better while continuing to take your prescriptions, and bring your BG down to a level that will help you to avoid complications. It’s not necessary, unless you want to, to say “I’m never going into a fastfood restaurant again,” since it’s possible to get some healthy fast-food choices. Whatever changes you make, they have to be ones that you can live with.

It’s not really either/or, but I would like to get off them. Change my eating lifestyle to a more heathy one will make me less dependant on the pills, hopefully to the point where I don’t need to take them anymore.

While I have the pills I will always think I can do what I want, take the pills and be ok, and I don’t want to think that way. I look at the prescriptions as a crutch.