I have finally decided that I want to fight this diease, at the beginning I said I wanted to fight this diease, but in reality I did not have the desire to fight this diease. Now I finally think I have the desire to fight it. Over the last 15 months I would go back and forth eating healthy then eating what I normally ate, doing exercise then not doing exercise. It finally acumualated in myself not doing any BG checking or eating properly, or exercise. I was just relying on the pills to do it for me. So I was in denial.
My deepest part of denial was during June and July 2010, but by the middle of July I wanted to get off the pills(and in my thinking now), get off the crutch. The turning point for me will be that on August 1st I had had my last fast food meal. Meaning for me that I will now stop having McDonalds, Burger King, and the like. If I do “need” to go out and eat I will look at healthier choices.
I now have a plan, it is not a firm plan, but it is a plan I can now work at because I have now have the will, the desire to fight this diease.
And it all starts will taking things one day at a time, knowing that it will be a long fight, and knowing that I want to fight it. It took me years to get the way I am now, and I know it will take years to get myself out of where I am now.