A few times recently I've found myself thinking that diabetes was, in many ways, so much easier when I was a kid. This was partly because my parents did a lot of the thinking, but also because the only times I felt diabetic were at mealtimes, during exercise, and if I felt low between meals.
These days, diabetes seems so much more pervasive in all aspects of life. With a lot of us wearing pumps, testing 8-10x or more per day, and using CGMs, counting carbs and using apps, it's almost impossible to forget about diabetes.
I don't usually feel anxious about diabetes, but it's definitely there in the back of my mind on a near-constant basis. Before I go anywhere or do anything (even if it's just going to a staff meeting) I stop and think, "Is my blood sugar good? Do I have low supplies?" I think it can be hard to get away from this type of thinking. Some days, I really resent it! But the payoff is better control than was possible in the past.
I do have moments where I forget that I have diabetes, mostly when I'm in flow and forget about everything else, too. Some here try to create flow around diabetes itself which I find awesome but haven't achieved.
I think if you are feeling anxiety during a large part of your day, it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor as well as all the other suggestions people have made here. Maybe taking a medication even-short term would help you to get back on track.
Flow is a great thing to look for! We read the book for Tae Kwon Do and really found it interesting.
I don't mind "investing" energy into getting ready to work out, taking a couple of minutes (at work...) at 3:00 to take stock of where things are sitting, what direction the CGM is going, etc. to make sure that I'll be ready to run at 5:30. It's a game, then I get home and, before I run, I test my BG and, most of the time, I've "won" because my BG is where I want it because I've done it before and all that. If I've "won", I've won and, if something is off, I know the workarounds I'll use to get a run in anyway. If anyone at work suspects that I'm slacking off taking, what 15 sec to test my BG and then think about it, I will be happy to argue with them about it since that is basically my job and having a bunch of "winwinwin" floatig around in my mindset at what can be a crazy time of day is certainly helpful to the "bottom line." A run is coming up, I'm fired up and, while maintaining a professional demeanor, I am going to kick some ■■■.
I also have to be aware that I'm never going to "win" a race. Even in my age division, there are people running 16 minute 5Ks around here and my fastest is 23:17 (on St. Patrick's day, fittingly, enough! Horrible BG race, BTW...). It's sort of "selfish" but the burst of energy and focus from arranging the scheduling stuff will carry over. "ok, I have to pick junior up at school at 5:30, I'll run afterwards but I can prep dinner in 10 minutes when I get home..." or whatever, find a flow and success and a *win* in mundane chores and get it done, feel great and then shovel that buzz into your run. And listen to Motorhead or Fu Manchu or some other sick, heavy but not overproduced, metal to get your flow on...heh heh heh...
If your anti-anxiety meds is an SSRI (most are these days, things like Celexa, Prozac, etc.), then they will be absolutely ineffective if not taken continuously.
In fact, taken sporadically, some SSRIs can even exacerbate anxiety and depression.
SSRI's must be taken for a week or two before they start to yield the intended beneficial effects. Taking them intermittently do nothing at all at best, cause psychological problems at worst.
People using Prozac in the same manner as a pain killer (i.e. just take it when "needed") have become suicidal.
Check out what sort of meds you've been prescribed, and if an SSRI, either take it all the time, or don't take it at all.
And, more than anything else, discuss this with the prescribing physician.
Yes, before I changed my doses I had several scary night time lows which led to around 15 or so seizures in a 6 year period...I hope you never have these. Probably led to memory issues which increased anxiety. It all took it's toll on me and my ex. Perhaps if you are enduring constant lows the overly tight control can make night times stressful. Now I go to bed at 130 - 150 and haven't had a extreme low in over a year. I work from home and travel for work and also have young children but don't see this as a correlation to the anxiety...for me it was the low BG's.
I was ironically reading the Flow book right around the time I noticed you mentioning it on this site in regards to diabetes. Maybe that's why I noticed you mentioning it. I've become fascinated with the idea and in a way it's changed my life, at least in terms of my stress level. I teach and I've begun trying to incorporate it into my teaching for my students, it's very cool stuff. Now that I finally have some of my diabetes stuff sorted out, I'm going to try and fit some flow mentality into my diabetes management at some point in the future.
My son who has been T1 for 10 years has been having an ongoing issue over the past five years with calcium deposits that look like growths forming on his feet. I was searching the internet to try to find out what he might possibly be able to do, to eliminate or reduce this problem with his feet. Right now he has a golf ball size lump on the inside of one of his ankles. In the past his heels and even the bridge of his foot have been affected. In searching for answers, I found information on magnesium deficiency from a few different sources, as a cause for this sort of random calcification in areas that also suffer repetitive overuse (he oftens spends 10 or more hours a week on skates. This information prompted me to do some more searching and downloaded a kindle book that is also available in paper format called The Magnesium Miracle by Carolyn Dean MD, ND. Dr. Dean's theories support a magnesium deficiency as a causefor the sort of calcium deposits that my son experiences when the ratio of calcium/magnesium in the body is higher that it should be for calcium and lower than it should be for magnesium.
She links magnesium deficiency to anxiety, depression, migraines, pain, strokes, cholesterol, hypertension and the list goes on. In my son's case, and he is only 20 years old, he is already taking an ACE inhibitor for kidney protection due to high albumin/creatine ratio results, so together with this, his T1, and the calcium deposits on his feet, I'd like to ask his endo next visit to consider testing him for a magnesium deficiency.
You might be interested in reading what Dr. Dean has to say about anxiety and depression particularly her information on how adrenaline wastes magnesium and how the fight-or-flight response (which my son experiences frequently playing junior hockey) requires magnesium to an extent that it depletes magnesium stores to create energy and that the magnesium depletion itself then stresses the body. If your anxiety is at a level that requires medication, then your magnesium levels might be worth looking into but note her comments about the inaccuracy of the serum magnesium test.
I'm sorry you're anxious all the time, it has to be incredibly draining. What saved me from the constant worry is the Dexcom CGMS. I finally know where my blood sugar is and where it is going any time I want to know. I don't know if you have insurance coverage for it, but I would recommend it highly.
frankly, I don't think it's a matter of testing, being on pump or any of these things, LilMama is well versed in testing, is on a pump, etc...it's just the simple fact of having type 1 diabetes. i feel the same way, doesn't matter that I have a CGM, test, etc...I'm also nervous often, too. I've had bad lows and spiked highs, both which make me feel just ill. there is no relaxing really with this nasty disease, it's in our face 24/7/365. Maybe some deal with it better then others. I don't do too well with it either, it's not a matter of lowering my A1C or getting better control, it's the constant BS of this and the reality of lows.
I agree, Jen. Yeah, we have more tools, better technology etc today, but...as you said, it makes T1 more pronounced in our faces all day long. We're supposed to test more, be more aware, it's our job to do this and manage all this technology. We're hooked up to all this crap...I just hate it, all of it. I too LilMama have thought about maybe an anti-depressant..but I'm so anti-meds..that I just don't want to (has it helped you??). It is just so exhausting and to have any type of control or a good, viable A1C takes so much work, it's a job all on it's own, IMO.
I take my anti anxiety (Xanax) as needed and only take 1/4 of a dose. I take my Prozac daily and it has greatly helped from where I was, still just anxious over my diabetes constantly.
It is 100% byproduct of the technology and the ridiculous obsessive approach around the illusion of control that we are choked with at every possible opportunity.
What must change is our perspective... how we frame/compartmentalize the ideas, the thinking in our heads.
As a woman, not a mommy person, are you able to be alone? Can you go to a movie alone? Can you eat dinner out, by yourself, and not be anxious, uncomfortable doing so? Until we are able to do such things and not be afraid of being with our own skin regardless... it causes problems.
Diabetes is no different.
I'm high... great.... or low, no problem at all... cope with the sparks directly in front of you, and keep moving. It is hard to feed our fear and not have them grow wickedly.
I accept hi's and lows both can and will happen. I do not fear them. I respect the potential they possess, the damage they can do. I respect them, but cannot fear them. A different channel... a "better one", I will leave for others to say.
I go through bouts of anxiety and not just about D. I have taken xanax before and for me, it was a lifesaver. I have this theory that we all deserve to live a "normal" type of life. If that means needing to take meds then so be it. Any condition that causes you to not be able to have a life you are content in should be corrected if possible. This means I take a slew of drugs for my D. When I have needed antidepressants or anxiety meds (for me the conditions go hand in hand) I take them. When I have needed to see a counselor I have done so.
For many people, stress and depression mess up BG so it may help your D to get your anxiety under control. Lots of testing might help to reassure you that you your bg is ok or to pinpoint where the problem is. And I find that when my BG is out of whack I also have emotional issues and may get angry or anxious because I'm a little low or high.
Let me start by saying that you're not alone :) I used to experienced the same thing & yeah, anxiety really affected my everyday functioning. I used to wake up everyday worrying about my condition & it has gotten to the point where I got tired of entertaining my anxious thoughts & thought of putting an end to my life. But thanks to my boyfriend for being the best support system. Also, I'm active in my church so my time & attention is diverted to something worthwhile. I still worry about my condition (but not as frequent as I used to) especially when I'm experiencing hyper episodes. I guess you just have to think that there are many people who are on the same boat as you & they still manage to live a normal life. Do the things that you enjoy doing. You have to decide that you're not going to let the disease ruin your life.
Its terrific that you start this subject with four years of experience. It’s super hard to live with diabetes. One worries about glucose levels because fluctuations affect ones life experience and its level is so often unpredictable. One must do things that are not fun. One cannot become fully involved in activities. One can make efforts to eliminate all variability from day to day of activity, food, and stress. To do that is not fun but one must make the treatment of diabetes as easy as possible. Before blood testing the only treatment was the elimination of variability. To never sleep in, to never wake early, to never stay up late. I was told a few times too often in the hospital when diagnosed that I could live a normal life if I was consistant with diet. Was a normal life in question? I think yes, a normal life is something we can simulate and we can become somewhat content in restrictions. And we can choose a few things that we can vary without becoming spontaneous. Spontenaity is not possible unless one thinks its okay to put ones life and health in danger. The non-diabetic world does not comprehend what we endure but you get it.
